Juvenile video game violence with lots of Ford and Apple product placement

Rating: 4/10 (31 March 2015)

Where to start? I'm so baffled. The title says it all. I'm hoping that this movie is based on a comic book character because the events that took place in the movie are so ludicrous and clichéd that realism flies right out of the window about after 15 minute mark.
It's starts with a basic plot for this type of movie: Some rough boy has lost his wife and he's trying to live a "normal" life. After awhile some random bad guys appear to the scene out of thin air. For no reason, these bad guys want to steal our hero's ancient Ford (which is constantly being glorified throughout the film) and they end up taking it and killing the "poor" guys dog in the process. Up to this point, I really was on Keanu's side for all things considered. Then the movie really starts going crazy so you don't need your brains anymore. Of course, the guy now starts seeking revenge for them taking his beloved Ford and killing his puppy he owned about 24 hours. Soon we get to see that Keanu is some kind of "retired" super invincible contract killer that can take masses of bad guys out with a snap of his finger. The movies story is basically about a man who wants to revenge to those evil "foreign" (well of course!) bastards who killed his puppy. That's it! I'm not kidding.
Okay, this movie could be cool and very entertaining action flick because of loads of good/great actors like Willem Dafoe and the guy from Game of Thrones who gets the torture treatment. Cinematography is great, lots of gun fights and Kung Fu fights and whatnot. But the plot is so damn juvenile and video-gamish that I, 30-something, just couldn't take it. I'll give an example. 20 or so fully armed and trained killers arrive at Keanu's house in the middle of the night. He kills them all with little effort like in Steven Seagal movies taking only scratch to his head. You need to have superpowers to survive that situation. In another scene, Keanu enters bad guys nightclub, which is full of trained and armed guards WAITING him to arrive. That doesn't stop him waltzing trough the building and pretty much dodging all the punches and bullets aimed at him. Only one cool guy with a scar (of course) manages to put even a little fight against our hero. That was the best moment because I really was rooting for the bad guys this time. Senseless slaughtering goes on and on while body-count keeps growing. There was actually a scene where they showed a van full of wrapped up bodies our hero was able to kill at this "first level" of his. "Cool" rock music plays loud at the background while Keanu keeps slicing and dicing the bad guys like some Marvel superhero. I would be OK if this was Superman or Batman but it isn't. All this "coolness" is added with very visible product placements from Apple and Ford mainly which almost made me puke.
The plot is like straight from some video-game like Splinter Cell or Metal Gear Solid. I think even they have better story than this one. This basic revenge type of movie plot is just so overdone already and John Wick surely adds nothing new to the genre. Should I say the movie lacks soul. I managed to watch it one hour and that was it. I like action movies but this was just too over the top for me thank you. I could predict pretty much everything that was going to happen on screen.
If you like video-game style violence and Steven Seagal style high body-count action with a script that's lacking any intelligence or realism, this movie is definitely for you.