John Wick is the slowest assassin ever

Rating: 4/10 (19 April 2020)

John Wick is a film like HUNDREDS of others based on a retired assassin efficiently dispatching nameless thugs in the quest to save a loved one or to exact revenge. John Wick is a parody of all of them.
Over the top, yet barely pushing a boundary, the terrible fight choreography is too laughable to watch through without groaning and the Russian accents are embarrassing to listen to.
For a film based on heavy violence and fight scenes, John Wick somehow moves slower than an old man. In fact, Liam Neeson in "Take a Commuter Cold Walk All Night In The Tombstones" moves faster. The John Wick fight scenes are like watching a senior fumble around with another old man while said old man barely makes an attempt to fight back. Some scenes the thugs actually pause before throwing a blow just so Keanu Reeves can catch up and block it. It's pretty painful.
While it is still a relatively fun movie, it's hard to tell if it's "so bad it's good". Or that it's so bad it's hard to look away? Either way, use a silencer John. You're the clumsiest, loudest and slowest assassin I've ever seen.
Just an fyi, if people started demanding higher quality films from Hollywood by not paying for this insulting trash - you would get a decent assassin movie. Instead, we get Liam Neeson in Taken 7 or Keanu Reeves in John Wick 5.