Welcome to the Suck...indeed

Rating: 3/10 (8 November 2005)

What a mess. I don't think I've ever seen a film with so much going for it, that added up to so little. Not just the subject matter, which is ripe to be explored, especially at this point in history, but the cast and the crew of this film are all top notch. They had to have been drafted against their will to sail on this hole riddled boat of a movie.
***Spoiler Alert - NOTHING HAPPENS.
Here is a film that seems to be extremely proud to bring us the message that being in the military is hard, especially when you're away from home. That when you're away for a few monthsyour girlfriend will cheat on you. This seems to be the message. We're never allowed to see any relationship between the main character and his girl back home, yet we're supposed to feel his pain at being away from her for so long and then ultimately her leaving him. I felt far more of a bond with Mark Wahlberg's character and his wife in THREE KINGS and it was just a few short lines - but well done, thoughtful, well acted, well-placed lines. This film is a clunky mess that feels like they were making it up as they went along. There isn't much in terms of the enemy, there isn't much in terms of "war is hell"...war in this film is just boring - if that was what they set out to prove, BRAVO. But if it is the point, they forgot that film is entertainment. Here, war is a time for masturbation and feeling bad for yourself. It's a time to complain and expect everyone watching the film to think you're deep instead of the first class spineless complainer you are. This film is an insult to anyone who has ever served in the armed forces...not to mention the chumps that shell out $10.00 to waste two hours watching it.
Do yourself a favor. If you're thinking you want to see JARHEAD instead rent the brilliant FULL METAL JACKET a film that delivers the message that JARHEAD drops in the sand. Another choice is THREE KINGS a highly entertaining, well made film that has solid observations on the war in Iraq that resonate long after the film is over. It is obvious they were the films Mendes was trying to serve up with a few ingredients switched around and his name slapped on it. I got nothing against filmmakers who borrow...but Frankenstein's monster was just a bunch of sewn together parts without LIFE! If I sound upset with Mendes it's because I also wasted my time on The Road to Perdition! American Beauty was all Alan Ball  it becomes clearer with each passing year.