Stunningly bad

Rating: 1/10 (19 August 2017)

I feel sorry for the people who made this movie, I really do. I have no doubt their intentions were noble and that they thought, or hoped, they were creating a masterpiece. But alas, it was not to be. It is difficult to imagine that anyone involved in this movie could possibly be happy with the final result for it is not just not a great movie, it is not even a good movie, it is an excruciatingly bad one.
It is difficult to know to know where to start, so let's go straight to the acting. While many reviewers are waxing lyrical about Natalie Portman's portrayal I would disagree. Firstly it is a miscasting of epic proportions. It is forgivable that she is not the perfect physical incarnation of Jackie but it is not forgivable that the casting people chose someone who's physical stature is nowhere near that of her subject. The real Jackie was a whole 4 inches taller than Portman and while most people would call Jackie beautiful I don't think anyone would call her petite. Natalie Portman is petite, elfin even, and it is difficult for a petite person to satisfactorily play someone who has completely different body type. It is not her fault, she is just not physically built that way. Furthermore, look at any photo of Jackie and you will see a person who exudes strength and natural charisma. Natalie Portman never achieves this and how could she possibly do so given that she just does not have that gravitas, once again, not her fault but a fault of casting. Jackie's hair was iconic and integral to her look and image.
While it is unreasonable to expect any actress to have a face that looks like Jackie's it is not unreasonable for a hairdresser or wigmaker to reproduce her hair. So why do we have Natalie Portman in a hairdo that is nothing like Jackie's? While the makers go to extreme lengths to insert NP into historical footage, apparently they can't be bothered to give her the same haircut that Jackie had in the original footage.
And that "accent", if that is what it was. When she first opens the door to the reporter, given that here was a lady who looked nothing Jackie, and spoke what seemed to be some sort of Balkan language, I thought that she must be the Hungarian housemaid. Thank goodness for subtitles. If you listen to the real Jackie she spoke nothing like this. While she had a slightly exotic voice she did not have the effected, whiney, barely intelligible voice that Portman gives us. This is important, because the impression it gives of Jackie is she is an annoying, pretentious bimbo who it is impossible to empathise with and who you wish would just go away.
Finally the luckless Natalie is given the most excruciating script I have ever encountered - to call it a second rate soap opera script would be high praise for it. It is a string of clichés connected together with clichés, with more ham than a spam factory. See brave Jackie stride purposely through the mud at Arlington. See brave Jackie comfort her children - "mummy, when is Daddy coming home" - I almost laughed out loud at that. See Bobby Kennedy berate himself for not achieving enough. Hear a priest tell us why bad things happen. Hear a reporter praise Jackie. Hear Jackie make witty remarks about General De Gaulle. See Jackie wipe the blood off her face and arrive home alone in Washington from Texas still wearing her bloodstained clothes. Hear Jackie listen to Camelot. Oh lordy, please make it stop, I surrender.
I have no idea what the filmmakers intended. Was this supposed to be a hagiography or a hatchet job? Did they make her appear such a buffoon to bring her place in history down a peg? Or did they actually believe the way they portrayed her would cause anyone to think better of her or venerate her?
Of course neither I, nor most people, have any idea what Jackie was really like. All I know is that the script is such a complete fantasy that nothing in this film can be trusted. It has added absolutely nothing to our knowledge of Jackie and distorted history a bit more. Poor Jackie, I just hope they don't have movie theatres where she is now, she has suffered enough.