Boring, Boring, Boring

Rating: 2/10 (20 May 2015)

How this movie ever got a 7.2 rating is one of life's great mysteries. It is actually rated higher than The Babadook, which is truly an original premise that is executed brilliantly. "Executed" being the key word. It Follows is confusing, laboriously edited with random irrelevant scenes, has a soundtrack from a really cheap 70's porno film and worst of all not scary. Why does everyone think this garbage is some artsy masterpiece. I haven't seen so many pointless reaction shots since 1960's Star Trek! This drivel's creator, David Robert Mitchell, has forgotten the first rule of film-making: NEVER BORE YOUR AUDIENCE! And that is all he did for the longest 100 minutes of my life. Endless anticipatory shots that not only didn't move the story forward, but squeezed the life out of what little story there was to tell. (I kept hoping for an early mercy killing.) It Follows was a paltry attempt at film making that failed at every turn: somnambulistic actors who wander through a cinematic labyrinth of missed opportunities, choppy editing that brought attention to itself and away from the skinny storyline, amateurish attempts to create a malevolent environment, and a reprehensible plot that continuously confuses the viewer and drove me into the kitchen for another beer.
I'm just praying that It Follows is not followed by another abysmal attempt at film making. Man, if this passes for good horror, then all is lost!