A Case For Video Piracy

Rating: 1/10 (7 May 2015)

Carried helplessly into a culture of self-mutilation presents a worrisome effect to a man enveloped by monotony, if only to feel once again.
What persists as a one hundred minute metaphor for syphilis and its merry band of gift-giving compatriots, It Follows will only serve to intensify our impatience with the elderly and disdain for public urination. Every cliché of the genre is checked as the defenestration of ingenuity rings apparent. It will not inspire, it will not frighten; but its creative malfeasance will serve to make one feel better about those terrible macaroni pictures made as a child.
An affront to anything cinematic, this flavor-of-the-week art house claptrap rides a familiar bandwagon already overburdened with crap like Drive and The Guest. I'd ask it for a refund, but who has the time for it to catch up?
Skip the movie but heed its overall message: Dressing like Halloween will attract many a ghoul; a catalyst for eternal damnation within the chambers of Old Country Buffet. Of course there is no opposition to the presentation of this digital sedative. Contributing to its financial security, however, is another matter.
F-