As good as any circus sideshow: a few surprises with a dancing clown and then you leave and forget about it.

Rating: 5/10 (12 September 2017)

"It" is not a scary movie. It's a special effects show with an 80's vibe brought about via the popularity of "Stranger Things," an overrated Goonies-inspired TV drama. ("The Goonies" sucks, by the way.) Still here? Cool.
Now all you thick-skinned folks and I can sit down and talk. We knew going in that "It" is not scary: the woman who brought her wailing infant into the cinema this evening (seriously) illustrates this: but is "It" a decent show? Sure. As good as any circus sideshow. A few surprises with a dancing clown and then you leave, instantly forgetting about it.
"It's" (It, with an apostrophe? Wow, confusing) problem is that most of its scares are jump-shocks (cheap!), and, get ready for the obvious: its dated setting. NOBODY goes to the circus anymore (did they even have the circus in the 1980s?) and evil clowns are old, old hat. Ever since Batman arrested the Joker for public nudity in the 1960s has the idea of clowns being evil been super-ultra-cliché. (Did you know that a "Joker" origin movie is in the works? Lame! Doesn't that just make your eyes roll?) However, props to Bill Skarsgård's acting, and his conveniently wall-eyed appearance: with those eyes, you never know if he's looking at you or for you (teehee). Kudos also for that kid with the glasses who never stops swearing: he's the fun one of the group, when all the others won't shut up about their problems.