I didn't float down here

Rating: 10/10 (13 October 2017)

Absolutely disgusted that me, a unhappy depressed man, didn't float like stated. I am currently in a sewer and the only thing floating is the poop in this ankle-high water.
All I found was a shoe labelled Georgie, I don't know who that loser is but I think he was privileged enough to float, w**ker. Plus, not one clown was spotted-I know hes probably in that weird hibernation thing but I was a guest, rude c**t.
Now I'm going home; I'm sad; wet, shi**y, shoes and a want to kill myself even more.