This film doesn't work because it doesn't add up to anything

Rating: 5/10 (1 October 2017)

This film doesn't work because it doesn't add up to anything. It's another in a long line of recent "franchise-y" films that are more about their existence than about anything resembling a coherent story or theme. This film, taken on its own terms, is about a boogeyman who's mostly a clown and a group of kids who find his house to bludgeon him to death. That's it, and even that's pushing it.
Yes, Pennywise says that famous catchphrase about floating, and even better the movie interprets it literally, as if the quote exists outside a reality tied to story, character, or theme - in this film, kids actually float down in his sewer. Ohhh creepy, that's what it means.
The whole thing is just a serious of intermingled "scare" scenes, one for each kid, wherein they are given the barest bones of character to make it work. Bill stutters, but only like once or twice and it never matters at all. Richie is a smartass, but he dresses cool and hip and is woke so modern audiences love him - his character doesn't grate at all making you wonder why he's such a "loser". Ben is fat, but in a fun superficial way and he's clearly not bothered by it. Mike's character might as well not exist at all (his entire raison d'etre is to have access to cattle guns). Eddie has his inhaler and uses it all of like once - he's more of a pill junkie. He seems rather charming and smart, and his mother is a bloated caricature that does nothing for his character either. Stan is a cipher.
At least Beverly has a some development, but it's driven home in such a broadly obvious over-the-top way that again, it feels like a comment on people's prior conception of her character and not as a real character herself in this story. Her dad is a one-dimensional sexual predator, and her ability to overcome him and in turn Pennywise, rewards her with a damsel in distress storyline that ends in a literal kiss from Prince Charming to wake her - there doesn't seem to be any irony here either.
The sequel to this almost can't exist based on how inept the storytelling in this one is - it will pretty much have to be it's own standalone film. I don't like to judge a film based on its source material, it should stand on its own, but this film fails miserably in both regards so it's a bit of moot point.
The acting is uniformly good however. The kids are well cast, and do their parts well. Bill Skarsgard has potential, though it's wasted by lackluster use of him. There's some kind of shaky-cam run at the camera trick that's bafflingly inept and seems like a cop out by a story that has run out of tricks and doesn't trust an actor to do his job creating tension.
A good example of this is the opening scene - little Georgie has this creepy encounter with Pennywise, and he's charming and owning the screen, when inexplicably the camera cuts to some old woman coming out of her house with a cat, then it cuts back to Pennywise and all the tension has started to dissipate. Then the movie has the "cajones" to literally show Georgie's arm getting torn off and Pennywise's mouth full of sharp teeth. Cut to the cat staring down at the street. That old trick - Alien first did it in 79. It's all so explicit way too early in the film and it kills all of the atmosphere and dread that could have permeated this.
Why. was. there. so. little. Silver. Hi. Yoo. Silver. Away. There's a throwaway line lost at the peripherals about the bike but otherwise nada. Why?