IT (2017) ~ 3/10 *s ~ this failure of an adaptation feels like a light coming-of-age drama with screwball-comedy elements gone wrong

Rating: 2/10 (9 January 2018)

It
2017
Dir.: Andres Muschietti
Starring:Bill Skarsgard
3 *s out of 10
This is for the dumbed-down masses only; aka - those who haven't really seen any horror films, or, for that matter, quality films in general, and for those who would probably struggle reading a one-hundred page novella for teens, let alone getting through and understanding the complex Stephen King novel from '86 ..... Bill Skarsgard IS pretty damn phenomenal here, though, as the lonely positive in this piece of s***.
I've heard that Stephen King loved this .. lol .. well, that's not saying much considering how excruciatingly awful he is with film - whether it's directing, writing, producing, generally overseeing, or offering critique: Stephen King is no arbitrator of cinema; he is, indeed, a phenomenal mainstream writer of contemporary times, but does NOT know what he's talking about when it comes to quality filmmaking , and seems to always merely want overly straight, literal adaptations of his novels .. this adaptation isn't one of the worse that's ever come from his source material, but is nowhere near a good one, either .. and is NOWHERE near the masterpiece (lol) that the dumbed-down masses, and even some of the critics, have said it is .. for all the hype, and considering that the novel from the mid-80s is, perhaps, King's greatest achievement, as well as one of the greatest American novels of the twentieth century's latter half, this is a complete failure, which will definitely be forgotten .. then, maybe fifteen years from now, it'll be widely understood that this just plain sucks, and that another crack needs to be given at adaptation ..... now, listen, I am no big fan of Stephen King in any way, shape, or form; much of his writing is average .. but the novel from '86 is just so damn special, and deserves so much more than this - that's just kinda of fact if you've read the novel - I mean, I realize it's not considered highbrow to this day, but I read classic lit normally, and do believe the novel ranks amongst the greatest epics of all time .. honestly, though, in the case of the complete failure that is 2017's It, adaptation contexts need not even apply - the film is just too piss-poor to even go there with it .. and, honestly, this was shocking to realize, but this piece of trash here is actually a lot more comparable to the nauseating cheese-fest that was the 1992 television mini-series (that the idiots go around calling a movie) than it is to the excellent, twelve-hundred page novel.
Okay ..... where do I start ..... there is a complete lack of style/aesthetic/mise-en-scene here (there is NO style here, at all; NO 'world' created) ..... there is a typical reliance on jump-scares instead of an exploration of the incredibly paranoia-laden, atmospheric universe of the novel (there is NO atmosphere here; it's as if Muschietti thinks Pennywise is some sort of masked killer, like Jason Voorhees, that just needs to show up and be there) ..... the writing is downright trite and cheesy, and, at times, really does indeed feel like a generic coming-of-age movie for pre-teens - and this is NOT an exaggeration; it's as if Muschietti believes the viewer needs constant relief from - what he certainly sees - as the 'relentless terror' .. the traditional orchestra-based soundscore by Wallfisch sounds as generic as they come - like elevator music for a horror film ..... I mean, c'mon, this movie is effing ridiculous .. it's contrived, condescending, music-video-like garbage .. it's just a collection of generic horror cliches - like those of any typical January horror .. and nope, sorry, it just does not come even close to capturing any sort of essence of the great novel.
IT downright sucked.
3 *s out of 10