Dumb Beyond Belief

Rating: 1/10 (23 September 2017)

I pity this society. Because they would champion this stupid adaption of Stephen King's novel over the mini-series. I'm trying to figure out if this is dumb or stupid. Dumb implies they purposely ignored the source material and went for...a dusting of the heart of what made the novel so great. Here's a hint to these retards who made this...it isn't kids swearing like morons. Nor was it a decidedly forceful creep like Pennywise. How stupid do you think children are that they wouldn't see a dumb dead-eyed clown in a sewer and reach in? Here's what made the miniseries so much better...he was a playful clown. This one is a creep. It's not fun at all. Tim Curry was legendary in this role, this dunce couldn't hold a clown shoe to Curry.
God, I hate this movie. Here's another thing...how stupid are kids that split up...in a house they are afraid of entering in the first place. Also, the town is suppose to be haunted by this tragedy. Saw NONE of that. The miniseries also did something much creepier than a two part money-grab could do...they prefaced the fear by seeing them FIRST as adults. They overlooked the idea that whatever freaked them out as kids back in the day shock them into reality in the present. This will be addressed in the next chapter (laughably, they called this "Chapter One"...really, idiots? Who did this?). But it's diluted. The miniseries followed the structure of King's book which bounced back and forth which made it infinitely better.
People who liked this garbage...too bad you've been conditioned to watch turd. Your brain has been saturated with that 80's feel. Eat ballsack "Stranger Things." You're not clever and you're not fun. This is hot hot garbage and society praises mediocrity. Shame on these nitwits. Take the money and run, because you dodged a bullet (yeah, you can tell when the studio lost faith in the project...they made it into an action movie).