Wow, just when you thought it wouldn't happen again...

Rating: 1/10 (28 April 2013)

X-Men: the Last Stand, Spiderman 3, yup they've managed to somehow **** it up again, just when you thought the visionaries behind Marvel have learned from the previous mistakes, they go ahead and screen this awfully paced, tacky, gigantic disappointment of an Iron Man film, just when people thought the second film was "bad" I wouldn't even believe to consider this film as a part of the series. Now, I understand that to cast such a brilliant actor such as Robert Downey Jr to play such a character as Tony Stark, it has to consist of the occasional comedy and slapstick humour, but in Iron Man 3 they pretty much packed all the so- called comedy they could, despite this supposedly being the last Iron Man, and I know, I wasn't asking for another Dark Knight Rises, but a little serious action and emotion once in a while seriously wouldn't of killed them, especially *SPOILER ALERT* If Tony Stark gives up Iron Man, which by the way, was totally out of the blue and was not built up to such a conclusion at all, back to the pacing, I couldn't be more confused by what's going on when, one minute Tony and Pepper are having a couple's argument of a giant stuffed bunny *sigh, I know* next minute, no next second, his mansion gets missiles blown at it by the Mandarin's orders, oh wait, *SPOILER ALERT* there is no Mandarin, they literally made a weak joke out of one of the most serious villains in Marvel history, yes turns out Ben Kingsley plays a stereotypical, washed up British actor, living under the "role" as the Mandarin.
Words can't even describe how disappointed I was at this point, sure they made humour out of the fact that the trailers built the Mandarin up to be an awesome, mysterious, bad-ass, perhaps what could have been one of the greatest villains ever acted out in history, but it was unfunny and just awful, and to add insult to injury, the villain we got instead was a scientist with a grudge, yup there is also a sudden back story, of course instead of referring back to the first two films, they just pack a whole new storyline in one film. 1999: a dorky fan-boy named Aldrich Killian got turned down by Tony Stark and 13 years later got his revenge on Tony as the bad guy by unleashing havoc, remind you of anything? Yup, they totally ripped off the storyline to The Incredibles, funnily enough the humour in this film was about equivalent to that of a Disney Pixar film, only difference is I can watch Toy Story without cringing. Not only was the villain bad, the action scenes were beyond annoying and consistent, if it's not Iron Man making a monkey chain of civilians to save the day, it'll be him busting into every suit he can of the 42 he suddenly owns, before each and every one of them either explode randomly or fall to pieces due to the many rip-off's of Johnny Storm (Fantastic 4). But seriously, Tony's entered so many suits in one film, the whole unique point of Iron Man just doesn't exist, and all I can see him as is (in the words of Cptn. America) just a guy in a suit, or a tonne of suits. Especially considering that both Pepper and Rhodes can apparently put on the suits as well.
I could summarize many, many more points about this film, but I'm limited to 1000 words so I can only do so many another would be the kid, yup there's a kid, I had no idea where the storyline was going at this point, all I could see were more demon people exploding, correct me if I'm wrong, the movie was in fact unbearable to watch, but when it got to the point where Robert Downey Jr started bonding with this 9 year old, whom of which apparently has been abandoned by both his parents, all I could see it as is a bad family flick starring Dwayne Johnson. To conclude everything I've mentioned, bad twist, bad plot, bad pace, bad villain, bad action, bad ending, overall just a horrible excuse for a superhero movie, I am beyond shocked that this movie has such a high rating, might just be because The Avengers set such a high bar, or perhaps some fans just can't let go of what could have been, anyway as much as I love Iron Man as a whole, this film in particular has to be downsized to its rightful grade