The bastard child of Terminator 3 and X-men Origins: Wolverine

Rating: 4/10 (30 April 2013)

Pre-release Thoughts: "You know who I am." - Yes, the third Iron Man flick! Yay! :)
"You don't know where I am." - True, but I presume Marvel and Shane Black is laying the final touches on a new genre masterpiece! :)
Post-release Thoughts: "You'll never see me coming!" - You're right, I didn't. I really didn't. :(
Look, I am a huge Shane Black fan. I love "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang" and thought the work he did on the "Lethal Weapon" films is great. Heck, I even like him as Hawkins in "Predator". I think the dude knows what he's doing most of the time.
I also really admire the work producer Kevin Feige has done so far with the Marvel properties. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, all great films. Even the flawed Hulk reboot had its moments.
When hearing that these guys were teaming up to give us a kick-ass third film in the Iron Man cinematic universe, my interest definitely rose. This had to be good. Also, coming out after the success of "The Avengers", I figured they would nail this one.
Then the trailers came out. Sir Ben Kingsley looked awesome as the menacing Mandarin and had some really memorable lines. In short, the marketing for this movie has been impeccable. So far, so good.
A few nights ago, I attended the midnight premiere of the film here in Norway. The audience was stoked. This was going to be epic.
Then the film started. For the next two plus hours, we were treated to one joke after another falling flat, a non-existent plot and characters that behaved completely out of style. As the credits rolled, I realized how Marvel, for the first time in years, had made a real dud of a movie.
In the other critical reviews here on IMDb you can read about all the plot holes, stupid jokes and bad character arcs, so I will not repeat all of them here. Just let me say that they are all right in their disdain for the choices made in this film.
Tony has a few scenes where he is a psychological mess and has anxiety attacks. None of these scenes really lead anywhere or happen when he is in danger, so their effect is nothing more than filler.
Happy Hogan is quite good as a comic relief, but is in the movie for 10 minutes total. His main objective from a plot perspective is to anger Tony to the extent that he loses it in front of the hospital in the following scene. Then Happy is out of the picture for almost the entirety of the film.
Pepper Potts also has a rather weird development in this film, and break well away from her arc in the other films. After falling 60 meters into an inferno of flames, she magically reappear unscathed a few minutes later. Given a similar scene with one of the bad guys earlier in the film, you could at first glance accept this from a pure referential plot perspective, but this is not a trained killer. This is Pepper Potts.
Adding insult to injury, she then know exactly how to avoid being shot by one of Stark's automated suits, before using Tony as a trampoline to impale said suit with her naked fist, ripping it to shreds and putting on one of its arms. Then she picks up a small rocket that magically falls out of the wreckage, hurls it at the main villain and blows it up mid-air with the hand repulsor.
A big applause to our new super hero, Ms Pepper Potts, Fireproof Iron Arm Lady!
This scene is so bad and out of character that it made me cringe. Apparently, Shane and Drew thought the same thing, as the next scene is Pepper returning to normal, shrinking with fear, saying: "That was... so violent!" However, they didn't change the scene in the script.
Then there is the Mandarin...
Look, I'm not really sure where to begin, so screw it. Once again I refer to the other reviews, you can read up on most of the silliness in regards to the character in those. What they did with the Mandarin and the potential in Sir Ben Kingsley is quite abysmal.
So, why the reference to "Terminator 3" and "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" on top?
In "Terminator 3", the main villain is fireproof, can generate fire from her arms and is able to regenerate from explosions and wounds. So can the generic bad guys in "Iron Man 3".
The other reference has more to do with tone and atmosphere. The fourth X-men film has a messy script, with a lot of characters behaving weirdly, horrid editing, lame jokes and a twist that felt totally out of place. They also ruined the arc and motivations of a beloved Marvel character. All of these criticisms can also be made of "Iron Man 3".
Summary:
"Lesson number one: A great third Iron Man film? There is no such thing!"
This is not a great film at all. Nor a good one. The girl sitting next to me at the screening even had to ask her friends for group confirmation, not trusting her own judgment: "That was...eh, cool,right? Right?"
In my eyes it's down there with the Star Wars prequels, Matrix 2 and 3 and Indiana Jones 4. In short, I don't view it as a legit movie in the franchise. It's more like an extremely expensive fan-made film, which just happen to star the same actors as the real deal. Avoid.