One of the biggest disappointments in film

Rating: 1/10 (10 May 2013)

This film is no longer going to be known to myself as 'Iron Man 3', no. It shall from this day forth be known as the single biggest disappointment I have ever had the heartache of sitting through.
I thought Iron Man 2 was bad and after watching Iron Man 3, and deciding it was in fact worse than the previous film, I've decided to reevaluate my opinions of the Iron Man trilogy in general. Was the first Iron Man any good? I'm starting to think it wasn't and I just got myself caught up in the superhero craze.
But back to the matter at hand, anybody who tells you that this movie is anything other than bad is lying to you. It was atrocious on levels I can't even begin to explain. What Marvel have essentially tried to do here is recreate The Dark Knight Rises, however they've executed it with about as much skill as a dog at a snooker table. Let's evaluate the similarities.
1. Both characters lose a key British 'servant', if you will, midway through the film. Batman loses Alfred in The Dark Knight Rises and Tony Stark loses Jarvis. 2. Both characters lose all of their possessions and have to rely on their own cunning genius to solve the matter at hand. The difference here is that we're told very clearly how Bruce Wayne is capable of fighting his way out of trouble whereas Tony Stark miraculously learns karate between Iron Man 2 and 3 without any explanation what so ever. 3. They both have sidekicks in the film, Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character and the useless little boy in Iron Man 3. The difference this time is that Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character carried out a significant role whereas the boy in Iron Man 3 was absolutely and 100% unnecessary to the plot line. 4. Both Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne are thought to be dead in the film by being defeated by their enemy. 5. Both characters return to the scene with a dramatic gesture to defeat the character that had previously beaten them with no difficulty on either part.
Iron Man 3 had so many problems, it's difficult to cover them all in a quick review on IMDb so I'll just start to list off as many as I can. They didn't once explain to the audience what the syringe actually was or why people were having such a reaction to them that they were blowing up at random intervals. If you're going to have something like that in, try to explain it to the audience before hand. There was a fire breathing man. I'll give you a minute to accept that fact... A fire breathing man. Tony Stark spent far too much time outside of his suit than inside. They might as well have called the film "Not so Iron Man." They tried WAY to hard to make the film funny and failed in every aspect. Out of about one thousand (no exaggeration) one liners, there were 2 that I laughed at in the whole film. One of them was said by Jarvis and the other by some random enemy. Surprise, surprise the "funny" Tony Stark character is not funny in the slightest in this film which is just another major disappointment.
All in all, this film is so bad I wouldn't go and see it again for free much less pay for it. I'd rather excrete in my hands and clap.