Dumb dumb dumb-dumb-dumb! Do-be-do-be-do-be-do- Iron Man!

Rating: Null/10 (17 June 2009)

Iron Man is a remake of the bizarre and pointless Australian film Testi: Iron Man. That film was black and white and messed up. America doesn't like that sort of thing (neither do me) so they decided to turn it into an excitement film instead. Interestingly though, neither film features any appearances from any Black Sabbath member. There could have been a fight between Iron Man and Tony Iommi, or Ozzy could have been supplying Robin Downy Jr with drugs and liquor, but maybe then this wouldn't have received the U rating.
The film is a rip off of Batman- a billionaire playboy who is worth millions, I can't remember his name, likes to build robots and sell them to bad guys in places like Egypt. He is bored with his life and fancies a change so he turns himself into a half man half machine half bird creature, and calls himself Iron Man. After his parents are murdered he realises his purpose is revenge. He covers his body in the latest weaponry- guns, lasers, big knifes, and learns to fly. After a brief training montage (running up hills, lifting cars, shooting targets showing his skill and fitness progress) he flies to a terrorist country and kills the bad guys. That's about it really. Quite shallow, but some good actions and graphics. I don't think anyone else famous was in the movie though I was pretty drunk on whiskey while watching it. I think it was an attempt to start a new franchise so maybe more things will happen in the next film. The Man Of Steel will return to a cinema near you next year or two! Best Scene: When Iron Man is learning to fly and he keeps zooming into the ceiling of his barn and whacking his head. What a chump!