Very disappointing; good effects and two good performances aren't enough

Rating: 5/10 (11 March 2009)

I really do not like CGI. I think 90% of the time it looks cheap and phony, an opinion which is exacerbated by the fact that those "cheap" effects cost tens of millions of dollars. So I was pleasantly surprised when I found myself enjoying the effects in IRON MAN. Unfortunately, the special effects were one of the only things I did enjoy about this boring, uneven movie.
As they almost always are, Robert Downey, Jr and Jeff Bridges are both excellent in their roles. Downey brings a genuine "flawed hero" pathos to his character, and Bridges is admirably malevolent as the money and power hungry villain, a reflection of what Downey would have become if his hint of a conscience hadn't finally woke him up.
The Iron Man suit is a joy to behold every time it's on screen. The opening escape scene in the makeshift suit and the final battle are both superbly thrilling action sequences.
Unfortunately, what lumbers along in between these scenes is largely a big bore. The screenplay is a mess, with some ridiculous lapses in logic (even comic book logic) and lousy dialog. The tone of the movie repeatedly switches from realistic and gritty to cartoonish and campy, but with no style or finesse to make the transitions work. And several scenes seem to be incomplete, as if pages of dialog were reduced to a few awkward lines.
Two key supporting performances are so bad it's amazing they didn't wind up on the cutting room floor. Terrence Howard is wooden and appears completely bored with his role as Downey's military buddy. I personally am not surprised Aat his being recast by Don Cheadle in the sequel. Gwyneth Paltrow is simply bewildering as Downey's assistant, playing the part of a woman who somehow keeps this billionaire weapons designer's existence in order as a nervous, dim-witted bubble head. She joins Katie Holmes and Kate Bosworth in the "normally good actresses who for some reason turn in lousy performances in superhero movies" club.
There's a lot to like about IRON MAN, but there's more to dislike. I doubt I'll be racing to the multiplex for IRON MAN 2. Then again, we have a new screenwriter and at least one better actor. Maybe getting rid of some dead weight will help.