Just.... terrible.

Rating: 4/10 (11 October 2008)

So, ignoring a complete lack of respect for the viewer's suspension of disbelief and a few major plot holes, the film was, well, still pretty terrible. To sum it up: if you're going to make a super-hero movie, make a super-hero movie. This seems like its just the back story for the sequel (which I'm sure is due to be thrown at us any moment now). What plot there is seems to have the subtlety of a crow bar and was shoved down the viewer's throat with the care of a run-away train. Tony Stark, our protagonist, is the lovable sap that acts as the face of a weapons company who is blissfully unaware that his products are being used on both sides of the battlefield. It takes a kidnapping for him to figure it out, and he returns blissfully angry as hell, not doubting for a second the other heads of the company until it is, again, spelled out for him. This lovable idiot, although completely inept at common sense (as well as being without the ability to solve simple problems with his hot rod without his computer), manages to design, fabricate, program, and perfect only the most advanced weapons system ever using stock components and he does it in a CAVE. Not to be underdone, when he gets home, he does it again, I suppose, just for the hell of it. Still rightfully angry as hell, he blows up some stuff, enrages his enemies, and blows up some stuff. The movie (and I mean the movie, not the production staff) think that it's so clever in this depart from the traditional superhero storyline that it flat out screams it through several passages with somewhat less than witty dialog.
I mentioned the plot holes earlier so here's a few examples so I have two: First, when Tony has his power generator removed from his body, he wants to die rather quickly, although the magnet that this powers doesn't pump blood, it simply keeps shards from moving into his heart which, one can assume, being shards, are not on a death wish, they are inanimate objects that shift over time. Secondly, the character inside each suit is impervious. You can put me in whatever suit you want, if you drop me from a mile onto concrete, I WILL DIE (not limp away with a scratch on my head). The suit is the superhero, not the person.
It all boils down to this: Drawn-out narrative, relatively major pot holes, and completely one dimensional characters who make the same faults as EVERY OTHER SUPER HERO VILLAIN EVER.