Where Eagles Dare

Rating: Null/10 (2 October 2006)

You know that feeling you get when something seems a little too authentic? Like when you walk into an Italian restaurant, the table cloths are checkered, in discernibly romantic music plays and the maitre de talks like a Mario brother, you almost feel like you're in Italy but then you remember you are actually visiting a cousin in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Everything is so on, that it just has to be off, ya know? Well, that's how Disney's latest effort, Invincible, feels (not the one with Billy Zane).
Invincible tells the story of Vince Papale (Mark Wahlberg). A down on his luck bartender in South Philadelphia that tries out for the Eagles under new head coach Dick Vermeil. The year is 1976, the collars are blue, the city is entirely out of hope but the time is nigh for hearts to be warmed.
With the 70's songs jammin', the thick mutton chops or the nut-hugging shorts on dudes, you get the impression that Invincible is more concerned with period piece details than making a good movie. They talk about football as if it were a religion, hoping the viewers get lost in all of the lore and history of the NFL. To be fair, it does succeed on some fronts, like its portrayal of rotten-to-the-core Philly fans and the ownership that towns feel over their respective teams. These things are captured but really not as a product of this film but rather as a product of the bountiful lore and history of the NFL.
Speaking of rotten Philly fans, every shot of South Philly has a murky amber color treatment. Like we are watching everything take place at the bottom of a dirty glass of water. While heavy-handed, this does provide a nice dichotomy to the football scenes that are vibrant and alive with color, like a lucid bollywood dream.
While it is a fun trip, it's all a rehash. The buddies on strike, the estranged wife, the hope of a town riding on a hometown underdog, I guess I just don't see what separates this from other sports movies. It doesn't have the penned up emotion of Friday Night Lights or the mysticism of Hoosiers. It isn't a bad movie there just isn't much beyond a routine tale of triumph.
My biggest problem with the movie is the love interest, Janet Cantrell (Elizabeth Banks of Slither fame). See she's a Giants fan. It is amusing to see how the eagles fanatics respond to this blasphemy in the city of brotherly love but I wish that she came around in the end. Sure it is commendable when she stands up for her G-Men in a Philly bar. It is just reckless when she wears a Giants T-shirt to Veterans Stadium. And it is a downright shame when she roots for the Giants over the Eagles, the team that features the man she loves.
The film concludes with actual footage of Papale playing for the Eagles. This is the most inspiring stuff in the movie. In a film that strives for authenticity, this grainy film stock hits home. Papale makes tackles, returns a fumble for a touchdown and joyously hops around like a 6-year-old on Christmas morning. And anything that powerful is authentic enough for me.