How awful? Very awful!

Rating: 1/10 (21 October 2005)

The occasional good horror flick can make an interesting evening. Vampires are always fun. And hey, here we have some name stars: Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. And it all does come to-gether. To produce one of the most gawdawful, boring, nauseating, DUMB movies ever made. You can't make out what's happening because of the dark lighting and artsey dartsey camera work. You can't hear what's happening because when Pitt and Cruise aren't screaming their lines in anger, they're mumbling them. Okay, we all know that vampires drink blood. But a 90 minute vampire movie should offer a little meatier plot than an infinity of back to back vampire attacks. The stock of the company that makes fake blood must have jumped the week they filmed this epic/schlepic. Rarely has so much of it been shed, spilled, saved, sprayed, sucked, sipped and swallowed. Maybe if I tried watching it again while munching on some garlic....