Space Junk

Rating: 1/10 (1 April 2015)

Having slogged through this movie, with every scene more painful to watch than the last, the overriding feeling I was left with was one of seething anger and resentment. Three hours of my life wasted watching this tripe when I could have been doing something more enjoyable, like sticking hot pins into my eyes or eating pieces of broken glass.
An hour into this supposed masterpiece of a film and I was wishing for a black hole of my own to crawl into, anything to escape the $160 million worth of steaming nonsensical horse sh*t closing in around me. I have never taken drugs but Interstellar is what I imagine a bad LSD trip is like.

What exactly was the point of the scene at the start with the Indian air force drone? and the school scene for that matter. Movie not long enough? - They didn't know about the massive cliff they were about to drive off? despite it only being a short drive from home? - Hang on,the secret NASA base just happens to be an easy drive from the farm? -Er, so the only way for er, future bookshelf-playing Coop to communicate with umm, past Coop is by using magic magnetic dust? - So you can send high quality video messages to Earth from the far reaches of space but the 'scientists' could only send rudimentary pings about the planets? - Returning to the house during the dust storm the driver bizarrely parks about 20 yards away from the front door, why? - 'Scientists' have the ability to design craft to fly to Saturn, through a wormhole, and LAND on planets, but are defeated by 'blight' whichdoesn't seem to affect the pristine baseball diamond? - A wormhole explained with a post it note and a pencil seemingly provides sufficient information for our hero to zoom off to said hole. 'Woah woah that's more than enough information for me slick' drawled our hero, 'I'll take it from here' - Those robots dear oh dear oh dear oh dear, a square box is apparently the most suitable design for a cramped spaceship? it's something my 3 year old builds using baby Lego - If NASA wanted Coop to fly the ship why didn't they er, phone him and ask? maybe even invite him to pop around for a visit considering he is only a short drive away - Why not just send the boxbot to collect the probe from the puddle planet? - So he floats through a black hole, down some kind of sparkly shaft until he ends up floating behind the bookcase?

This isn't sci-fi, it's a new genre I shall call 'magic comedy caper'. I had so much more to say but I can't bring myself to waste any more of my life on this nonsense. It's rubbish.