Entirely Non-Stellar

Rating: 1/10 (12 January 2019)

How could a movie cost $165 million to make while devoting only 5 bucks to a script? I'm no physicist so I'm not going to cry about the faulty science. But at least try to create scenes and dialogue to make the mumbo-jumbo somewhat plausible in a ''suspend your disbelief and enjoy the ride" kind of way. Instead, we're treated to a scene when the astroclowns are freshly in space and through the wormhole when one guy decides to break out the pencil and scratchpad, whereupon he discovers for the first time that every hour down on Planet Moonbeam = 7 years on Earth, so hurry back, mkay?
The ridiculously cumbersome robot. Mumbling Matthew's horrific hairpiece. Anne Hathaway's punchable face. Casey Affleck's even more punchable face. Michael Caine cashing another cheque. All the un-earned tears. The cheap references to Robert Frost and Joseph Conrad. Aaarrrrrgghhhh.
The pretentious philosophizing brings to mind other pointlessly dull movies: Kubrick's 2001 and both versions of Solaris.
Must have been a wild ride at the 3D Moviedome because on television it's a cheap, ponderous melodrama.
Nolan is quickly shaping up to be the most over-rated director since M. Night Shamalamadingong or, more to the point, Andrei Tarkovsky.