Cars, Oil, Nationalism and Children of the Corn IX

Rating: 1/10 (10 April 2015)

Let's see
Planet Earth is virtually unlivable- where ALL you can grow is corn, BUT - people drive around in automobiles - Awe SHUCKS HONEY - the dust storm is comin' and the GAS STATION is CLOSED ! Awe shucks. Those magic oil corporations must be making gas behind the scenes in this movie.
Who made this heap of hubris propaganda?
Hmm- given a choice... hmm - work with the planet you have or? Leave it- go through a wormhole - go have a fist fight with Matt Damon on Ice Planet - realize that you're not STILL not going to fix the leak in human ethics that will lead to exploiting a new planet EVEN IF you find one, or ? hmm... keep working on the planet you live on, and realize chances are you probably CAN grow more than corn if you put your intellect to it.
Better: "Damn it honey, we can figure out how to turn the entire facility into a space ship, we can figure out how to go through a worm hole, we can figure out how to repopulate a planet with 10,000 human embryos grown from eggs in a lab - but damn it - we just can't figure out how to grow anything but corn !"
This movie should be banned in ALL 195 countries.
It's in part an oil advertisement in disgusie - a bit of Go USA propaganda - I'm surprised there wasn't something for Israel or against Iran in it, they did bring in element of dust storm though. But ain't no corn in Iran. Well MAYBE. Human ancestors have records going back to 13,000 B.C. in Iran's Zagros mountains- I somehow think our ancestors were able to figure out how to grow MORE THAN CORN in a DESERT ENVIRONMENT - gee- you'd think we can too!.
The only thing that could have made this movie worse was if Ben Affleck was in it - they probably just edited him out.
I keep waiting for Malakye to show up from Children of the Corn, this could be a real treat if it goes that direction.
Two Matts in one movie- REAL BAAAAYAD IDEA - both offer up the same generic - character - they always play. As for Matthew Mcconaughey? Even 25 years of rock solid alcohol and meth use won't help him forget this nightmare.
This movie should have you wondering one thing - WHY ARE THEY DRIVING AROUND IN Co2 producing AUTOMOBILES - Why the American flag on McMcMc HOWEVER YOU SPELL THAT NAME - Matt brought more talent naked in front of bongos when he was arrested than in this production.
Do yerself a favor- just go watch Children of the Corn I through XIII (You have to enumerate the first one, and last 3 yourself, but you get the idea) instead of this, THAT or put 2001 Space Odyssey on fast forward and overlay South Park's Wild Wild West song with Cartman singing:
Well, I'm a badass Cowboy livin' in the Cowboy days. Wiggy, wiggy, scratch, yo, yo, bang, bang. Me and Artemus Clyde frog go save Salma Hayek from the big metal spider. A wiggy wig wig wiggy wiggy wig Fresh cowboy from the west side Wiggy wiggy scratch yo yo bang bang Me and Artemus Clyde frog go save Salma frog polly prissy pants Go down to, well... rumpletumpskin