A Great Big Mess

Rating: 4/10 (23 August 2009)

It was with the most excited, expectant anticipation that I sat down to Inglourious Basterds, only to slowly discover that I was being conned. It was a slow realization, but eventually I was convinced. I've loved pretty much everything that Tarantino has done, he's not afraid of unconventional storytelling and usually gives us a good ride. But here, I'm not even sure what I saw. Any Tarantino fan knows there will be long dialog scenes, Mr.T loves his talky parts, but give us a break. Scene after overlong scene of people just sitting around talking, creating faux suspense with sudden and ridiculous payoffs. I can definitely say it's the most un-action packed war movie I've ever seen. I kept expecting something to happen, and when a little bit did, it just moved on to another torturous dialog marathon. With all the talking, there is very little obvious humor and when there is a laugh it's not much of a relief. Tarantino (again) divides the film into chapters, which are boldly stated like we're finally going to get going, but no, we just keep meandering along with the yackety yack. Others here have stated that the film is childish but I'll also add that it looks amateur, if there was a lot of money in it, I couldn't tell. Even the finale which I assume is supposed to be epic and disaster-like feels rushed, confused and tightly filmed. I have no objections to the "alternate reality" plot, but at least make that alternate reality interesting, instead it comes off lame and badly thought through. I have no objections to the violence, but there was precious little of it for a war pic. The shocks often come like a punchline to a joke instead of justified. We get suggestions that The Basterds are supposed to be like The Dirty Dozen, but none of them (with the exception of Brad Pitt) even have a handful of lines, frustrating for such a dialog heavy piece. Eli Roth's role is borderline cameo and I kept wanting to get to know "the gang" just a little bit, but it never happens. Mike Myers appearance is distracting and unnecessary. There are no heroes, no villains, just a bunch of people being mean to one another, sadistic on both sides of the conflict, which ultimately does a disservice to what millions of poor souls must have really experienced. I HATE to get preachy about something that's supposed to be fun, but I can't help but see it that way. Thank God we didn't get a concentration camp scene. The main idea here seems to be the notion that it would be cool to see Jews exact their revenge upon Nazis. This may be a great idea when sitting around after too many drinks, but it does not a movie make. There were many moments that I got so bored listening to people run their mouths that I just zoned out, again, not something I would associate with Tarantino. I left the theater disappointed and angry. To say that this was not my idea of a Terantino film is a huge understatement.
I would compare the experience to a kid who's all excited at Christmas for a pair of skates and instead gets a photo of skates...no, a drawing of skates, and the whole family just laughs and laughs.