I'm a well informed Tarantino critic . . .

Rating: 2/10 (25 August 2009)

I will keep this short. I'm a fan of all Tarantino movies and screenplays. We even share our favorite movie - Assault on Precinct 13 (ok, my second favorite after Where Eagles Dare). This movie truly misses the mark. It is entertaining in a sense. It is clearly carefully written, acted and edited. So the problem? Many of the scenes are just too long with little payoff. No, not the opening scene as this is key to the movie. I'm talking about almost every other scene. For example, there is a scene where we are waiting for the Eli Roth character to enter the movie for the first time. He is walking down a long dark underpass of which we just see the exit. It literally takes him 90 seconds to 2 minutes (didn't time it - felt like an hour) to exit. All the time hitting his baseball bat against the tunnel wall. It was soooo long and sooooo uncomfortable, I was getting upset. Boy, this better be a HUGE payoff! No, just Eli Roth after doing some weightlifting. Yawn. Stare at the wall for 2 minutes. Is that fun? If yes then you will enjoy this movie. If not, wait for it to hit cable.