masturbation

Rating: 5/10 (1 September 2009)

Boy does Quentin Tarantino love to make him some movies. Well good for him, but that is not sufficient justification for asking for my attention. There were some moments that really moved me, like when von Hammersmark was on the doctor's table, she was like a cornered panther, and Landa was a delightful character, but far too often, I could feel Tarantino's hot breath on my neck yammering away about what a genius he is. Oh boy look, I blowed up the cinema. The rare times there was anything like a suspension of disbelief were the indulgent bits of gore, like the finger in the wound, or the carving of the swastikas in the forehead, which i can still feel. If I want that kind of cheapshot, I'll watch ER or something. If you are looking at a character and thinking about them as an interesting casting choice, then the director has failed. Hitler was many things, but he was not a chewed-up piece of gristle, and casting that actor in the role is just obnoxious. I rarely like seeing big name actors in movies, and seeing Brad Pitt means I'm watching Brad Pitt, not the soldier he's playing (ok, he was great in that Guy Ritchie movie as the Irish fighter, but that's an exception); i wish the Hollywood beancounters would stop wrecking movies with that crap. And whose stupid stupid idea was it to put Mike Myers in this? That just completely killed that scene to death. Unless this director, whose name I don't even want to write again, has some big life-changing experience that makes him reconsider his penchant for grandiose masturbation, I don't think i will ever want to see a thing he does again. If i want to watch somebody jerk off, I'll just get some porn.