As Painful as an Abscess

Rating: 1/10 (29 August 2009)

I have used IMDM for years and never felt compelled to write a review, that's how bad this movie was. I really am getting quite fed-up with some of the pretentious garbage Quentin Tarantino tries to ram down his audiences' throats. In fact the only good thing I have to say about this movie is that he refrains from making another of those really poorly acted cameo's he insists on. Don't get me wrong, I love some of the techniques he has incorporated in the past and his odd cadence was often refreshing but over-employment has tarnished my respect for him. The credit sequence at the beginning where the font changed every few frames was typical Tarantino archetype but was so long it felt like a tedious exercise by the director to flaunt his "artistic merits". It was a fore-shadow of what was to come. A feeling of dread overcame me as the first scene dragged its way through predictable boring sermon to the inevitable Tarantino bloodbath. This movie is 2½ hours long and I could already see why. His long drawn-out scenes of pointless dialogue to emphasize a violent conclusion are way too frequently employed in this movie. Philosophical diatribes are just one of the many techniques I loved in Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction but is now quite "Old Hat" for the director, here he uses it liberally, eating up most of the movie's time with tricks we've all seen before. Other predictable bits are his Mexican stand-off, kitsch movie techniques from the 70's, long pauses, sporadic over indulgent violence and soundtracks that don't seem to flow (I know he regards himself as a music lover and sometimes that has really provided a good soundtrack for his movies, but in this period flick his choices seem forced and out of place). These techniques may have been innovative in Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction & Desperado but are getting a little old. By Kill Bill Tarantino was really offering nothing new to cinema, his technique was established and predictable. The one saving grace of Kill Bill was it had the action to keep things interesting but Inglourious Basterds is painfully slow. It drives me nuts when people talk about how much they loved his movie because it's so very obvious they are wearing his name like a badge just because he's made some good movies in the past. I'm sorry but Inglourious Basterds isn't the art-house film it tries to be, it offers nothing new or interesting. I have never walked out on a movie because I figure they all deserve a chance, I should have here. About an hour in I was uncomfortable in my seat, trying to stay awake through another long, tedious Tarantino oration with an actor struggling to wax philosophic. And what was with that idiotic ending? You want to see a good movie this summer with intelligent undercurrents go see District 9. It's a much more reasonable length, has an interesting directing, has way more action, the characters are engaging, the actors convincing and the story is so much more intelligent without seeming "preachy". Avoid Inglourious Basterds like the bubonic plague. It's just about as painful as an abscess.