8.5 Stars?

Rating: 2/10 (24 December 2009)

I'm a huge Tarantino fan. I bought this film, sight unseen, for my iPhone so I could have it with me all the time. Wow, what a fool I am. I'm writing this review to undo a bit of my idiocy and hopefully prevent others from wasting their time and money too.
This is yet another film that will make you say, "They showed all the good parts in the preview!". The Nazis are ALWAYS near-omniscient...almost as if the Germans characters themselves had read the script! The good guys were the most careless sorts imaginable. This made all the dialog completely predictable. We get it, the Nazi has seen through their subterfuge AGAIN...do we have to slog through another twenty minute scene at a table for which the outcome is already clear in the first 30 seconds? That's not suspense, that is just annoying.
This film isn't the least bit dark, gory, or thought-provoking. All the action was in the preview.
Other reviewers have said this film rewrites history. Usually when someone says something like that they mean the film implied something unsubstantiated like Queen Victoria liked to dress like a man or that the Great Wall of China was built to keep Christianity out of China. This film goes so far beyond that level of absurdity that you will be completely appalled. Further, no explanation for it is offered. Making it a dream sequence might have earned the film another star or two.
Thanks for reading this review. You have been warned!