Red, white and blue with a funny old Jew!

Rating: 8/10 (14 September 2012)

Do you like your sci-fi served red, white and blue with a funny old Jew? Well, look no further than the obscure cult hit Independence Day to satisfy your patriotic yet culturally sensitive desire for alien ass- kicking. What can you say about Independence Day? It's like a birthday cake that explodes in your face. You sit there smiling and licking the frosting off your cheeks saying, "Mmm... cake!" Then you realize that you're covered in frosting and you want to eat something more substantial and nutritious. But that doesn't mean that exploding cakes aren't awesome! Independence Day is the best exploding cake that will ever give you a frosting facial of fun!
Bill Pullman plays the president of the world ...ahem... the USA and when he learns that giant round discs are entering Earth's atmosphere, his eyes narrow a bit out of concern but his presidential poise is not shaken. You see, President Personality is just biding his time until he gets to fly a fighter plane and face off against the telepathic cockroaches himself. But the rest of the world goes batspit crazy and the alien invaders waste no time in letting the human race know that their paranoia is quite valid as they proceed to show that they love to blow s*** up.
Jeff Bloomingold is here and his job is to wear glasses and say smart stuff. Will Smith is here too and his job is to offer the viewers the kind of wholesome blackness that's just edgy enough for you to go, "That's what I'm sayin'!" without getting a look of shock from your grandmother. Robert Loggia even has a job here. It's up to him to give a gravelly voiced delivery of all the dire implications of what's going on. Or is that what's going down? If you're a semi-elderly viewer or just a complete square, this is where you are grateful to Will Smith for providing you with some clue as to what's cool. Or is that what's hot? Anyway, for those who thought show-boating couldn't be charming, you might want to witness Will as he evades and ultimately doops an alien aircraft using nothing but puns, a parachute and an eject button. Will Smith's trash-talking will have you basking in redemptive glory after having lost his best friend mere seconds earlier. It's for this reason that you can forgive the rehashing of all too familiar Star Wars ace pilot jargon that occurs in the same action sequence. A pilot yells, "There's too many of 'em" while another yells "I can't shake him! I can't shake him." Equally forgivable is Smith giving references to two other alien movies within ten minutes of screen time. The only thing that could make this movie more awesome is if Brenden Fraser rode in on a horse and said, "Let's roll!" Enjoy the cake and savor that frosting!