The Washed-Ups

Rating: 5/10 (12 March 2019)

It is a clear sunny day boding nothing bad, and then suddenly a random guy bursts in on a giant drilling machine, robs a bank and literally sucks it dry, making off to an undetermined direction with his prize.
I can't help thinking that this is the best way to describe what Incredibles 2 did to its paying audience. I haven't paid a penny to see this film, but even I felt robbed, of my time, my hope for having a good taste in cinema, and - most importantly - my good memory of the first Incredibles.
It's been 15 years since the first film had been released, but instead of going forward the sequel seems to have gone back in time, to the fantasy 60's that only existed in the James Bond movies. The super family, however, had frozen in time and looks almost the same, but those real life years have indeed taken its toll - in the form of Holly Hunter's voice, which now sounds as if Elastigirl is an elderly lady not yet accustomed to her new dentures. And that is just the first of many more stark contrasts between look and feel Incredibles 2 aren't able to hide.
Another thing that deteriorated just as bad as Elastigirl's voice is the filmmakers' ability to distinguish quality and hollow filler. I don't remember all the details of the first film, it's been quite a while indeed, but I do remember that, despite intentionally goofy graphics, it felt real enough in terms of sincerity. That super family acted in a way that made you care, and the plot was a balance between keeping it reasonable and providing enough surprise factor.
This time, however, we get a clumsy mix of hollow action scenes, generic parent-child moments, really forced promotion of gender equality and a dystopian anti-brainwashing message more fitting the bleak Blade Runner universe instead of the colorful tech-happy retrofuture. Watching the kids do kid stuff is now more tiring than cute, and the little family quarrels from amusing become ridiculous. Just like the new villain's persona and motive.
Overall, Incredibles 2 made me realize once again that some things aren't meant to be remade or continued. Especially if you can't add anything new or fresh to what's been said and done earlier. And if you're not that good with creativity anymore, at least let your heroes grow up a bit. Because seeing kids not ageing a day in fifteen years makes one feel like John Nash from A Beautiful Mind, and that proved to be not the most healthy thing.