Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!

Rating: 1/10 (29 July 2010)

Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! was that enough DUMS! for you to make you feel sure this is the greatest film of the 21st century, Christpher Nolan's multi-layered visionary masterpiece? No? Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Come ON! Surely that must be enough DUMS! for you to realise that you're witnessing a tour de force from a director at the pinnacle of his genius? It's a film of transcendent majesty! A mind blowing spectacle utterly thrilling to the senses and deeply fulfilling to the intellect! And if you're not convinced of this, I can do what Christopher Nolan does, and just keep going Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! until you are!
It's a trick that seems to have worked on most people as they wander out of the cinema like wide eyed happy zombies, eager to write their adoring review on IMDb and give praise to Christopher Nolan who has now basically attained to them the status of God, but it doesn't work on me. I don't know why, but for some reason the idea that this film is a mesmeric piece of shimmering cinematic brilliance hasn't been 'incepted' into my mind.
Actually I do know why. It's because it isn't a mesmeric piece of shimmering cinematic brilliance it's two and a half hours of sheer unadulterated boredom. There's no character development. The drama is unengaging. The action sequences are bizarrely devoid of tension. It's uninvolving. The characters waffle on and I don't care what they're saying. The gunfight sequences are tedious. The enemy characters frequently fire bursts of rounds but never manage to hit anyone despite ample opportunities. How many times does Nolan think it's a great idea to show a character floating around in a hotel corridor while fighting 'projections'? And someone please tell him that he can't prove to the world he's made the best film ever by going Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! over and over again. Except apparently he can.
The basic idea has the potential to make the stunning film so many people think it is, but Nolan wastes the opportunity with a dull storyline. Getting a business man to split up his company? Is that the most exciting thing he could think of? Couldn't he get a president to decide to launch a nuclear attack or something? Did it have to be something so mundane? And he weighs down the film with an abundance of under developed material and fails to create any sense of danger in the fights.
Why does everyone think this film is SO good? People don't seem to be able to tell the difference between a film that tries to be fantastic but fails, and a film that is fantastic.
Good things? yes it's had a lot of money spent on it. There are some striking images. Ellen Page is super pretty...erm...