I must've seen another film than everyone else - this was really bad!

Rating: 2/10 (2 September 2008)

It gets 1 star for the lovely travelogue of Bruges, seeing a Heironymous Bosch and maybe another star for not having a happy ending.
-The dialogue was atrocious. Worst of all - it was uninteresting and not amusing. I am even more horrified to learn that this was written by a playwright not some 15 year old watching too many Tarantino films & thinking he's being hip/ironic by making fun of midgets, swearing every 3 seconds & having his characters be amoral and unsympathetic.
-The characters were not only all uninteresting and unsympathetic they were all boring. Yes, we get it, they're pathetic, Ray's not very bright, they have no other future, they're amoral, most of the people are violent, homophobic, and racist... but they feel a little bad when kids die. There was NO personal growth on any of their parts - a tiny bit of remorse maybe, no sense of an attempt at redemption (Ray is literally CONFUSED about the concept when Ken tries to spell it out for him). -Ken's sacrifice for Ray came out of nowhere and made no sense (he claims Ray has a chance to change-- there is NO indication from Ray that he will redeem himself or change *in the slightest*!). -There were no interesting/novel action bits or shooting. -Nearly every "twist" was obvious and foreseeable (what the "instructions" would be, what Ken was doing in the park, most of the ending). -I enjoy most of Ralplh Fiennes movies (other than Maid in Manhattan) but his role here was a waste of time. Unstable evil guy. Absolutely nothing new or even really fleshed out.
It was painful and an utter waste of my time! It was derivative and pointless. It didn't entertain me, it didn't make me think, it didn't challenge me, it didn't show me anything new (other than scenery of Bruges), it didn't amuse me (I chuckled maybe twice).
If you want a good European locale + action film with character development and clever dialogue watch Hot Fuzz instead. If you want a quirky film about a hit-man thinking about his job & falling in love, rent Grosse Point Blank.