I'm Bruised (2008)

Rating: 2/10 (8 August 2008)

This is a thinly-disguised rip-off of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction. Instead of John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson as the hit-men, we have Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson. In Pulp Fiction, John Travolta's character was just back from Amsterdam; here Farrell and Gleason are just over the Dutch border in Bruges, Belgium. Like Jackson and Travolta, Farrell and Gleason spend most of their time arguing about trivial things. There is also drug-taking as in Tarantino's movie, but this film is non-league compared to Pulp Fiction's Premiership status.
As in Pulp Fiction, the hit-men work for a scary Mr. Big character, here played by Ralph Fiennes (in one of his worst performances) instead of Ving Rhames. Fiennes has clearly seen Ben Kingsley's performance in "Sexy Beast" and he's tried to pitch his performance at the same hysterical level. The difference is that Kingsley had some terrific dialogue to say in his film, where Fiennes just screams the F-word so often here that you just wish he'd shut up after a while. Fiennes also seems to be doing a Peter Cook impression, using the same nasal, whiny intonations of the late comic genius. He's terrible in it, but the script has to take some of the blame for that too.
If you like making fun of midgets, as the writer of this film seems to, then this movie is for you. The so-called "jokes" about little people aren't funny and they become repetitive and offensive after a while. If midgets were the funniest subject in the world, then this movie would be the best comedy of all time, but they're not and it isn't. It's a failed stab at humour that's poorly executed.
The script was written by a playwright and, like a play, it's all talk and no action. Every second word is the F-word in a desperate bid at humour; you become numb to it after a while. Ralph Fiennes shows up at the end to try and liven things up, but by then it's too late to care. This is an overrated mess of a movie.