"I want this to be over!" Mia shouts . . .

Rating: 6/10 (26 August 2014)

. . . after one hour, eighteen minutes, and fifteen seconds of screen time mostly spent staring at her comatose self Shilly-Shallying between Life and Death in a hospital bed. If my showing is any indication, this is a VERY dangerous "date flick." Two or three guys walked out on this film after hearing Mia's Complaint, one of them muttering to his female companion, "Some day 'cello gal' might decide to stay, but I'M splitting now!" If nothing else, this movie will make hospital visitors think twice BEFORE giving loved ones "permission" to croak. IF I STAY's hero is awarded brownie points for introducing his musical prodigy protégé (pre-stupor) to teenage intercourse and alcohol abuse, despite America's prevalent statutory rape and zero-tolerance laws. Of course, in Real Life such "younger but wiser" girls do NOT live happily-ever-after at prestigious art schools. Rather, after fighting with their lover they attain three times the ADULT legal alcohol limit, jump into their Cobalt with an unbuckled seat belt, and speed 67 m.p.h. down their 15 m.p.h. Cul De Sac before dying instantly at the hands of a maple tree. Then a celebrity mediator orders GM to pay their single mom $2 million for being such an attentive parent (posthumously, of course; this amount will buy lots of Kleenex). But IF I STAY was filmed in Canada, where apparently they've never heard of Real Life.