This is a comedy with biting social commentary,

Rating: 8/10 (17 April 2009)

What a depiction of relationships among the chic, moneyed, postmodern, urban elite! Zooey (gorgeous Radisha Jones) is the Third Wave feminist woman par excellence—bold, assertive and independent (successful in a creative, all-female-run business)—yet simultaneously happy to indulge herself with the "girly" stuff in life (sleeveless dresses, make-up, fashionable haircut, etc.). Unlike the Steinemesque battleaxes who upheld the radical tenets of Second Wave feminism, Zooey doesn't regard marriage as a repugnant, oppressive institution. Instead, it's a potentially enjoyable lifestyle option. Although some Third Wave feminist women feel no need to accessorize the lifestyle with an actual man (pop singer Concha Buika announced in the 3/09 issue of THE ADVOCATE, apparently in all seriousness, "I'm going to get married with my own self."), Zooey feels differently. And immediately after accepting a proposal from Peter (charming Paul Rudd), she calls her girlfriends to announce the good news—just as if she were letting them know about the acquisition of a new handbag with which to accessorize an outfit. Her cavalier disregard for the sanctity of their relationship visibly hurts Peter, as she dishes about even its most private aspects. But he remains silent. Like most chic, moneyed, postmodern, urban elite men, it does not even occur to Peter to protest. Unconsciously or not, he obediently and unquestioningly accepts his proper place in relationship with a feminist woman: under her thumb.
But then—in one of the most wonderful depictions of male bonding I've ever seen on screen—Peter becomes close friends with societal iconoclast Sydney (delightful Jason Segel). Unencumbered by conformity to the politically correct behavioral pretensions of Peter's social set, Sydney enables Peter to embrace heretofore ignored possibilities of his own individuality, and Peter relaxes into a richer sense of his own self. When Peter asks Sydney to be best man at his wedding, Sydney is overjoyed.
In Sydney, Peter has not only found a pal, but an ally in the affirmation and defense of his manhood and basic human dignity.
Such intimate male/male friendships used to be commonplace in our society, but—for a multitude of reasons—over the course of the past century they have become increasingly rare. Peter and Sydney do NOT relate to each other in a way that is typical of men. Far more often, at best, men occasionally enjoy friendships imbued with SOME of the affection, camaraderie and devotion that Peter and Sydney experience together. This is because, for all the feminist movement's high-minded rhetoric about establishing "equality" between the sexes, the postmodern feminist woman balks (as Zooey does) at the very first hint of relinquishing any of her longstanding domination of men's emotional lives. Sometimes—as appears to be the case with Zooey—she is too self-absorbed even to perceive how much power she wields, to the point of being utterly unaware of how badly she abuses it. Indeed, postmodern feminist women frequently rule in the realm of emotion with such uncompromising ferociousness (albeit in covert or superficially demure ways) that most men—like Peter, until the arrival of Sydney—exist in a state of obliviousness to their own powerlessness.
The Peter/Sydney friendship, then, is not so much a depiction of what exists between male friends, but the filmmakers' wishful suggestion of what MIGHT exist. Indeed, in my judgment, the Peter/Sydney friendship has more love in it than any other relationship in the film.
But will the friendship last? There is difficulty, but at last Zooey accepts and endorses the friendship, and the way is paved for it to thrive indefinitely.
Or is it? Tellingly, the script only permits the men to declare their love for each other—an audacious act in today's world (and beautifully and movingly performed in the movie)—under Zooey and her girlfriends' direct supervision. The friendship meets with their approval, and thus the film ends on an upbeat note.
Women are correct when they state that there are some things about themselves that only other women can fully relate to—and the bonds of sisterhood, whether literal or figurative, are both celebrated by women and respected by men.
Conversely, there are some things about men that only other men can fully relate to. But can 21st century men become as deeply bonded with one another as did so many of our male ancestors during, say, the 19th century? Many women give lip service to the idea that the answer is "yes," but only a tiny minority of them will actually endorse it with any sincerity. And among men themselves, it tends to be a subject that they'd rather not even think about. It can be very scary for a man if he discovers and then begins to act upon his potential to establish a loving bond with another member of his own sex. Far more disturbing than the potential to raise neighbors' eyebrows with questions about sexual orientation is what men understand—if only in an inchoate way—about the catastrophic consequences they may suffer with their girlfriends and wives. If a male/male friendship becomes too close for women's comfort, it will, in all likelihood, be punished with excoriating ridicule, belittling, scoffing, name-calling ("overgrown little boys"), and possibly outright ostracism for "failing to cherish the women in your lives." It bears repeating: Zooey is a feminist. For her, then, female "empowerment," by definition, inextricably intertwines itself with the misandrist disempowerment of men. Like most of the people watching the movie, she has never seen anything quite like this friendship before, and it can be a lot of fun to see the two men together. But once the friendship's novelty diminishes and it ceases to be so amusing for Zooey, her original endorsement of it is subject to revision.
If a follow-up sequel is ever created about the characters, basing its story in reality will very likely yield a title something along the lines of "I Love You, Man—Part 2: Zooey Throws A Tantrum And Files For Divorce."