I have watched this film 3 times, purely because enjoy criticising it

Rating: 1/10 (22 March 2008)

--before i say anything let me just say ordinarily i am quite a fan of Miyazaki, i have seen Spirited Away and enjoyed it imensly and now own, however all directors make mistakes (Tim Burton directed 'Mars Attacks' remember) and playing with the plot of Diana Wynne Jone's best book is definitely a mistake--
I have to admit, picking holes in things is like a hobby to me but in the case of 'Howl's Moving Castle' I know i am quite right to do so. I can't even give this film a 2 for it's pretty pictures, i hate it too much!
Why do this to that story!? Considering the standard of Diana Wynne Jones' book it is hard to see how this film could have such a weak plot. I can't understand why Miyazaki would take such a wonderful story and put it through a mangle.
When i first heard there was going to be a film made of my favourite book of all time I failed to see how this could go wrong, when I saw what the castle was going to look like i was even more optimistic the style of animation seemed to suit the book rather well, i am now forced to eat my words.
None of the character's look quite right, Howl looks like an inflatable chair on stilts, Sophie just looks plain pathetic and Calcifer looks as if he's just come off the British Gas advert. Calcifer should be genuinely frightening, not comical.
The film had a promising start, Sophie's lines were remarkably corny and she herself was so nice and quiet she became detestable, she showed no character whatsoever and she didn't talk to hats but apart from that the castle looked promising and Market Chipping wasn't too bad either if you ignored the ridiculous aeroplanes and tanks. Then Howl appeared and it all went downhill from there.
Howl is welsh. One of the reasons I like the book so much is it is one of the only books that uses a Welsh hero, when i read it I also give him a welsh accent in my mind. It surely wouldn't be too much to ask to get Christian Bale, who I found out after watching it is in fact welsh, to put on a welsh accent at all? In stead he puts on this dull deep droning voice which I find both dull and creepy simultaneously.
The story is terrible, nothing is explained. Whilst in the book an explanation is provided for why the witch curses Sophie, why the scarecrow roams the hills and why Calcifer asks Sophie in particular to break his contract with Howl no such explanation is provided here.
Before I forget to mention it i must also tell you that I find the characters tedious and dull. Each one being far to perfect. The Sophie of the book is presumptuous, intruding, outspoken and nosey and Howl clearly recognises this and finds her irritating and tiresome. Howl is vain, cowardly, selfish and careless all of which Sophie takes note of and finds him frustrating and despicable, on several occasions she attempts to leave the castle having no patience left. Neither of them are perfect and neither of them so much as pretend to like each other.
As for the love element, it barely emerges until the last few pages. Sophie goes through most of the book without even realising she's fallen in love with Howl, certainly neither of them would confess to anyone but each other in the final few pages and even then it extends merely to Howl saying 'I think we ought to live happily ever after, don't you?' in a welsh accent of course. In the film it's obvious and it makes me cringe. Sophie is too nice.
I won't go too far into the other plot differences although their are plenty but major things this film misses is the intriguing dog-man, the seven-league boots, the chilling English teacher Miss Angorian, and the individual love stories between Sophie's sister Lettie and Percival, and Sophie's half-sister Martha and Michael (the equivalent of the film's Markle but about sixteen instead of six). And not to mention Sophie and Michael's short but amusing adventure into Howl's own world and his native country modern-day Wales.
The plot of the film is clearly weak and far to simplified. Instead of wathcing the tedious and predictable plot of the film unfold why not enjoy the surprising if slightly more complex but far more amusing and likable plot of the book instead? People who read the book love it, in fact the majority of people who have read DWJ's 'Howl's Moving Castle' would tell you it's better than Harry Potter, read the amazon reviews if you don't believe me, they say it all.
Ooo! Now I'm angry! I just read a review on here blaming the book. the Book!!! It makes me angry since this person clearly hasn't read the book they just assume that of so perfect Miyazaki couldn't have made a mistake so blame the book!!! The idea of it!!! I sgree the plot and characters in the film are awful but don't blame the book!!! Read the book, Howl's a coward in the book and he's a lot more likable that way, and he gets drunk at one point read it!