Opaque, Incoherent, Meaningless Drivel

Rating: 2/10 (4 July 2006)

This should have been titled Dageurotype. It is nothing but a series of images, though even dageurotype was more than that. To make matters worse, many of the images seem to have come off the cutting room floor of Sen to Chihiro. I haven't read the book, but the derivative nature of the images makes it hard to believe this is really based on someone else's book.
Derivative didn't we see Chihiro and Haku run through a field of flowers? Wait, Sofi and Hauru do it too.
Didn't Haku turn into a snarling dragon and suffer multiple bloody wounds? Wait, Hauru turns into a snarling bird of prey and suffers multiple bloody wounds.
Don't I remember a scene where Haku's scales fly off him one-at-atime as he turns from a dragon. Wait, Hauru's bird shows the same effect.
Wasn't there some cute, strange little character following Sen around? Wait, now it's a dog.
Wasn't there an obese bad witch and an obese pretty nice witch in Sen to Chihiro? Wait, now there's an obese bad witch who turns into an obese pretty nice witch.
Weren't there blob men in Sen to Chihiro? Here they are again. These guys never stop working.
The list goes on & on.
Opaque & Incoherent So, what is up with this witch liking to chew on hearts? And, why was it Hauru ran off with her & then ran away? I mean, she's a hot ticket, but was it a one-night stand or what? NO indication. So, Sofi really wants to break her spell & the way to do it is to break the contract between Hauru & Calcifer. So, why does she spend NO time over the next hour trying to decipher the contract? And, why does she tell Calcifer that "Suliman told me Hauru gave you something", when Suliman said nothing of the kind? Wassup wid dat? Who are these 2 countries? Why are they at war? Who cares? We're just supposed to be so disgusted at the bloodshed that we ignore the bloodless story. Where the heck did Markl come from? Does he need to be home for dinner? Is he one of the "lost boys"?
Amazingly enough, the ending is worse than the rest.