Surprising Disappointment from Uncommonly Incompetent Miyazaki

Rating: 1/10 (15 August 2005)

For the first time I have seen a Miyazaki film I actively dislike.
Howl's Moving Castle is one of the worst films I have ever seen, period, Miyazaki or otherwise. My reservations about it were totally founded, since Miyazaki does best when he doesn't do overt 'romance' (but then the 'romance' in this was a total joke) and does his own work. The novel upon which the film is based is an annoying clump of nonsense spouted by someone whose writing style is apparently to be as irritating as possible.
Miyazaki's version, which takes some liberties with the source material, is just as sickeningly bad. Visually beautiful, it's incoherent plotwise and has some of the worst acting ever appearing in his films...thanks for casting the talentless Takuya Kimura (boy band singer) as the lead. His lacking, cardboard delivery was as weak as any English dub could be. The 'love' is forced and stupid, between two lame-duck characters who have about as much chemistry as a piece of lettuce and a cork. The ending is a shambles and cheapens the entire previous film, and the forced inclusion of an anti-war message actually manages to be insulting to those of us who are anti-war; it's embarrassing to watch it be handled in such an incongruous and outright embarrassing way in this film.
The stupid, unsympathetic heroine for no real reason gets a curse put on her and stumbles into the realm of the vapid hero (if you can call him that; casting in-type for Takuya Kimura though), and boring hijinks ensue. There's no real reason for anything happening in the film, and you aren't moved to really care about the conflict between these countries, nothing of which is expanded upon in the excuse for a 'story'. Some things happen, people are introduced and subsequently forgotten about, and nobody any impact on the screen; perhaps it's because these were never Miyazaki's characters. They have no strength like his usually do. Their designs are utterly uninspired. Then in the last four minutes, everything gets tied up in the most unconvincing, stupid way that makes you feel like you just wasted two hours of your life waiting for it to happen. It's not made to be an experience like Totoro, it's supposed to be a direct sort of story...but it takes forever.
Miyazaki could've...and should've...taken a few pages from his own book and drawn us into a conflict as in Nausicaa...a film where we could actually understand what was happening and actually care about the outcome, and why these people were fighting. Nausicaa, in the film, was a strong and sympathetic heroine entirely resolved in her convictions. Howl's heroine has little real conviction except what other people persuade her to have. She doesn't suit Miyazaki's usual style of youthful yet strong heroines. She was just some stupid girl on the screen, nothing more.
Similarly, Howl was just a vain, inept 'wizard'. He wasn't sympathetic or likable, cute or endearing, he was just stupid and narcissistic and had no real redeeming qualities. Were we supposed to imagine he fell in love with Sophie or whatever her name was? Uh huh...what with all their powerful scenes together and such...if they had a single scene together that ever indicated anything even approaching so much as friendship until the last five seconds of the film, I missed it. The two had no chemistry and acted as two strangers who happened to be in the same general vicinity. Yet another stupid anime standard, the two characters who 'fall in love' because they just happen to be of the opposite gender and spend some time together in the same general area. Because, you know, nobody ever can spend time together with the opposite gender without falling in love, especially during a stressful period of conflict! For once, the supporting characters were just as vapid. There was not a single likable character in this film, nor did anyone stick in my memory as much as any other Miyazaki film. No bizarre and strange No-Face. No knight errant of Nausicaa. No gentle father of Totoro. There was no one even remotely distinct. It was irredeemable. And that is a shame, because something to which Miyazaki gives such effort should not be. It should be better, by its nature, than anything else put out at the time. Howl's deserves to be forgotten, and quickly. It's really pretty shameful that Miyazaki, in his zeal to make an anti-war statement, chose such a sloppy vehicle to tack it onto, and in such an indelicate way. Where is the subtlety we saw in his other movies, the beautiful message we could take to heart and understand, and love? Compared to a masterpiece like Nausicaa, Howl's Moving Castle looks like any other stereotypical shoddy anime joke. But it's not just a joke, it's a tragedy since it should have been good.
I hope the low opinion of viewers both in Japan and abroad of this film will encourage Miyazaki, if he opts to make another film, to use his own story. Maybe next time, if he wants to make a statement, he can take his time and do something decent instead of embarrassing.
I looked to Miyazaki's films to be different from most anime output, to be a refreshing and unique outlet for beauty, hope, optimism, strength, and lovely morals that are subtly communicated. This film was a joke by comparison. It stumbled through its clumsy storytelling from beginning to end. If you haven't seen it yet...don't! It's awful, and if you've seen any other of Miyazaki's work it will leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth. If you haven't seen any of his work, after seeing this you won't want to.
We should never have to say 'I found your movie terrible'. He's better than that, or used to be anyway. I hope perhaps he will put out something decent before he retires as he's discussed many times.