And I Thought The Monster Squad was Childish

Rating: 4/10 (10 July 2018)

I'm sure plenty of children and families adore "Hotel Transylvania," but not every animated kiddie movie is without intelligence, so I'm not going to cut it any slack. Another animated monster kids movie, Pixar's "Monster's, Inc." (2001), for instance, is kind of clever in its use of doors to multiple universes. And, although not animated, "The Monster Squad" (1987) manages to pay homage to classic monster movies and remain charming despite some childish humor. "Hotel Transylvania" features many of the same monsters as that film and more, including Dracula and his daughter, Frankenstein and his bride, werewolves, mummies, an invisible man, a gillman and Quasimodo, but they've basically nothing to do with their sources in novels or prior movies. They're more akin to the monster cereals, such as Count Chocula and Frenken Berry--mere caricatures, overly sweet and not very good for you.
In "Hotel Transylvania," Dracula has clipped the wings, so to speak, of his bat daughter, but he must learn to allow her to fly the coop. He also runs a hotel for monsters. The Dracula of "Nocturna" (1979) did the same thing, the film also had plenty of music like this one (except it was disco), and Dracula's daughter fell in love with a human. The similarities stop there, though, since "Nocturna" also had gratuitous nudity and an old Dracula complaining about how his reproductive organs don't work as well anymore (although, here, the Invisible Man defends the size of his in one pool-side gag). "Hotel Transylvania," on the other hand, has Count-less butt jokes, including a fart that's let on fire. I'm not sure which is worse, but I know fire is bad.
There's a joke at the expense of the "Twilight" series, where Dracula sardonically remarks, "This is how we're represented." Right back at you, Count Chocula; "Hotel Transylvania" isn't fang-tastic, either. Nor had I ever heard Dracula say "blah blah blah," and I've seen well over 50 Dracula movies since reading Bram Stoker's novel. Perhaps, the worst caricature of all, though, is Quasimodo as the hotel chef. Why is he a chef? Because he's French, I guess. That's racist. Anyways, the movie wraps up like a bad rom-com but replaces the father for the girl or boy chasing down the other for a grand romantic gesture. It's kind of like "The Wedding Singer" (1998) and with the same actor.
Another quibble I have with this movie is that when they list off Dracula's vulnerabilities--sunlight, garlic, stakes to the heart--they don't mention crosses. I get that they threw out all of the sex and violence from Dracula--even though that was most of Stoker's book--it's a kid's movie, after all. But the religion? I think that was a shrewd commercial move to avoid offending any audience, except for maybe cranky old Dracula buffs like me. But, they've made millions of dollars off this franchise and, as of this writing, about to release the third movie installment, so they know what they're doing. I don't have to like it, though.
(Mirror Note: No mirror shots in this Dracula movie, either.)