couldn't even get through it

Rating: 1/10 (11 August 2007)

Look, I've seen a lot of movies in my time. I've even seen a lot of horrible movies, truly awful, stick-my-finger-in-my-eye-and-swirl-it-around bad, bad stuff. I started watching "Fuzz" right after the notoriously putrid "I Spit on Your Grave" and vile "Cannibal Holocaust". Both of those twenty-seven year old films have more depth and character development than a single minute of "Hot Fuzz." Don't believe any of the good reviews for this movie - it's a waste of precious time and energy just putting it into your DVD player. And here's the best thing I can say about it - after an hour of watching, I finally got up and left, and the movie didn't stop me. I walked away from this abysmal mess of a film, this slick fecal-matter bruiser of a bomb, feeling a bit like film makers have finally gone and done it this time: they've given up on real movie-making altogether and sold their greedy souls to special effects, and when they're not animating things, mimicking Saturday morning cartoons with cheesy computer generated effects, they're scribbling scripts in pencil on sugar paper and rehearsing for two minutes before committing their laziness to celluloid. All the big-name cameos in the world couldn't save this steaming turd of a movie, so why should I say anything about it, other than that it sucks. England should be ashamed to be making movies like this, and we should be ashamed to give these kinds of amateur-hour British imports the time of day.
If you're reading this and astounded by the ferocity of my review, and curious about this movie, then let me assure you - after an hour of it, you'll get up and leave, too.