boobs and blood

Rating: 2/10 (6 January 2006)

Wow, that was interesting. I just got back from seeing that worthless piece of rotting flesh that could have been called a movie, Hostel, were it not a worthless piece of rotting flesh. All this movie is good for is tits and gore. There is an excessive amount of both. Actually, scratch that. There were more tits than gore. Frankly, I could have used a bit more torture than they had. Yeah, its sick to find entertainment from mindless slaughter and torture of one's fellow man, but if the plot is good enough, I don't care. Unfortunately, those are rare nowadays. Well, there were some good points to the movie. I did find some satisfaction in seeing Paxton slam into those f#$kin hostel bitches who drugged him. Hooray for GTA!! Also, there were some weird parts that didn't make any sense. After a sicko f#$ker burned this Asian girl's face, her eye is hanging out, so Paxton cuts it out. Alright. Whatever. Then, while they are trying to get to the train, she happens to see her reflection in a mirror and decides to...jump into an oncoming train...OK...Can I say what the f#$k? Maybe she was trying to get out of the movie. That must be it. You know, it was just like Eurotrip. I swear to god, if you gave every character in Eurotrip a weapon, you would get this movie. You know what would've been more of a torture for those characters? Strapping them to a chair and making them watch the very movie they are in. This movie was so bad that I had to watch Pulp Fiction just to get the taste of this s&*tty movie out of my mind. So anyway, f#$k it.
There are some funny points, and comeback points of this movie which are quite entertaining. Besides being hyped as one of the "greatest" horror,suspense, torture movies of all times, this movie is crap... I knew nobody had the balls to create a movie that could cross the threshold that could actually be deemed, and actually have "paramedics on hand" I laughed during this movie. That's my 7 dollars that I will never get back.