Doesn't come close to the hype.

Rating: 4/10 (10 January 2006)

As a fan of film in general, but especially the horror genre, I have to admit that I was drawn into the hype swirling around this movie and went in with expectations that may have been a little high. I will say that I do enjoy "Cabin Fever" for what it is: a purposefully over-the-top horror/comedy that was about having fun and being inventive. As most horror fans seem to confess, I've been nothing but bored by most of the American mainstream submissions lately, finding movies like "Saw" to be, at most, an interesting idea very poorly executed. So, with all its talk about "A return to real American horror," and likening itself to the recent school of no-holds-barred Asian film-making and Miike cameos, I had high expectations. It seemed like Eli was speaking just to my complaints and hopes concerning what the genre needs.
What crap that all turned out to, eh?
Yes, I had read that the opening was purposefully drawn-out T & A that was meant to lure the viewer into a "Eurotrip" familiarity so that when the "terror" hit, the character's deaths would be that much more terrifying. Still, that seems like mere pandering to any intellectual complaint that, let's face it, a whole lot of naked breasts will make some viewers happy no matter what a letdown the film turns out to be. The first half of the movie is worthless; the plot is barely inched along, and its totally obvious to anyone who has seen a horror movie before who isn't to be trusted. There is no air of mystery, or even a satisfying "The audience is in the know" kind of suspense. After all of the nothing, I found myself hoping someone, ANYone would get on with getting killed just so we could get to the meat of the movie. And it is in this very "meat" where the true disappointment lies.
The gore is NOT excessive. It is NOT disturbing, it is not, in fact, anything above "Saw" or "Final destination" or any of the other crap that fans were basically promised it was going to above. It is NOTHING close to the levels of intense "I-need-to-look-away-but-can't-take-my- eyes-off-it" Asian-style violence that "Hostel" PROMISED it would be. Everything you read that says the camera doesn't pull away is basically referring to one scene that caused me to laugh out loud (which, admittedly is probably what Eli would want me to do) at its over-the- topness, but one thirty-second sequence, and a few quick throat slits doesn't make up for the hour and twenty minutes of boring crap. I suppose that to a crop of "Horror Fans" who think something like "Final Destination 2" is "Toally messed-up, man" than yeah, this movie might be considered edgy. But, to a fan of real Horror, basically to someone Eli was MAKING THIS MOVIE FOR, "Hostel" is a just a let-down.