PrePubescent 18-year-olds

Rating: 1/10 (29 April 2013)

This is a truly rotten movie with nothing to recommend it. For example, the first half-hour or so has a lot of T&A, all of which is ruined by the three male protagonists running around going Oh Oh Naked Women! like a bunch of 8-year-olds snapping towels in a girls' locker room. When they do get lucky, it's all pretty much So That's Where It Goes! Stupid instead of sexy.
Personally, I'd tie 'em up (the guys) to a chair and pull out a scalpel. Which is precisely what happens to them and the rest of the movie turns into a very long, very boring gore-fest. Since these guys have already alienated the audience, the long, drawn-out process of dismembering them has all the satisfaction and drama of a medical school dissection.
Speaking of which, the whole movie seems to have been stitched together in the worst possible way from Teenage Male Virgin and Teenage Slasher films.
Like most males, once I hit puberty I knew what I had, knew what it was for, and very much looked forward to my first test drive, making that Teenage Nerd Virgin snickering at Naked Ladies seem just plain weird, just pain offensive and just plain retarded. Can you really reach sexual maturity and retain the world-view of a dirty-minded yet clueless 8-year-old for six, eight or even ten years thereafter?