Someone please cut *my* eyes out!

Rating: 1/10 (2 December 2006)

From the trivia:
"The movie was written, produced, directed and released theatrically all in a twelve month period, which is three times faster than the average Hollywood film."
Guess what: it shows. Badly written, badly shot, badly acted, badly edited, bad makeup, bad effects. It's just plain bad.
Where was the jump factor? The chill? Where was the *horror*? If it weren't for the sheer laugh factor (it's amazing what you can do with mustard these days) I would have fallen asleep. Too slow at the start, too laughable at the end, too boring (except for the boobies, and there were plenty of boobies!) in the middle.