The cheapening of horror cinema continues...

Rating: Null/10 (31 December 2006)

Thank you Eli Roth for taking an intriguing premise and transforming it into something of no value whatsoever. "Hostel" tells the story of a couple of annoying yank college students and one seriously burnt out foreign "dude" traveling through Eastern Europe. Since they spend the majority of this film sucking up whatever drugs they can get their hands on, banging prostitutes and acting like complete morons, they become perfect targets for an business looking to recruit (i.e. kidnap) 'distracted' and brainless young tourists... just like them! Before you can say "good riddance" we discover that said business is actually a grimy, decaying underground labyrinth where customers from all over the globe pay big bucks for a chance to torture a mutilate a real, live human being. Sounds like a blast, doesn't it?
While Hostel might seem like a disturbing horror film in theory, it's so badly directed and written it aggressively refuses to deliver anything remotely resembling suspense, terror or shock value. The only memorable sequence happens near the end of the picture and involves a dislocated eyeball that needs snipped. In the meantime... The characters are so poorly developed, obnoxious and dumb, the dialogue is risible and the film so slow moving you might find it a trust test of patience to hang in there. I'd say Eli Roth probably had his target audience in mind when he vomited up this mess; people who are content with nothing more than T&A and blood being flung around. Sadly, those sharing his same mentality tend to be too young to actually see R-rated movies.
Most surprisingly, this mess managed to make a dent at the box office. A small dent, but a dent nonetheless. Just one more sign of the times when something this bad turns out to be one of the highest grossing horror movies of 2006. And that has nothing to do with it being a quality horror film and everything to do with hype. Hype being some major name calling dredging up Quentin Tarantino's money investment and a misleading ad campaign claiming this is the most shocking film of the past ten years. Unfortunately, it doesn't even come close and is just another waste of time and money.