If there is a point to this movie - I missed it!

Rating: 5/10 (26 February 2006)

"Quentin Tarantino presents".....and that's about as far as his influence extends. Several cogs above "Cabin Fever" to be sure, but that isn't saying much.
If one were to be objective about this film...perhaps "subjective" is more appropriate - one might justifiably wonder what the Hell has happened to society's values and creeds generally, that a piece of questionable cinematic worth like this is paraded as "upmarket entertainment." Not a solitary person's life on this cerebrally-challenged planet could possibly be enriched by watching this ode to mindless violence. The sad thing is, that just such a scenario - an art-house catering for the more twisted morons amongst us, let's say - WOULD in fact make millions! There would be no shortage of psychotic customers queued-up with their Black and Deckers!
Tarantino has flair - his horror (From Dusk Till Dawn thru Kill Bill) IS art. HOSTEL is artless - a crudely assembled, rampagingly dark canvas filled with a motley array of fully dislike-able people...Hernandez himself the one marginal exception. Who amongst us is in to Euro trash like this anyway? - this flick has probably set tourism there, back three decades.
The cinematographer's odd artsy turn cannot hide the true nature of this vulgar and unbecoming little flick.....and that's exactly what it is - little! For those of you happy to queue up, expecting to be pleasured at the sight of on-going torture and maiming throughout the film - be aware that nothing happens until so far into the thing you'll be wondering whether or not you wandered into the wrong theater. By my estimation...actual screen shots of a high disgust factor (read as drilling, sawing, gouging and their ilk) take up less than eight minutes, the rest is simply your imagination at work.
The film justifiably deserves an Oscar however for "presenting the greatest number of repulsive characters on screen in the space of 90 minutes."
Do you really think Gregory Peck, Charlton Heston, David Niven, Henry Fonda, Kenneth Moore, Danny Kaye, Bette Davis, Peter Ustinov, Deborah Kerr, Robert Redford, Audrey Hepburn, Laurence Olivier and Katie Hepburn (to name but thirteen) would have queued-up for the chance to star in this crap? .....Yeah, I hear you..."Who are THEY?"