not scary, just really really messed up

Rating: 6/10 (11 January 2006)

After all the hype and reading Harry Knowles' pretty rave review of this movie, I was relatively excited for it. Not giddy excited like I cant wait, but in anticipation of "i wonder what this movie has that makes everyone talk about it so much." Honestly the clincher for me going to see it was an ad I saw that said "scariest movie in a decade. -AintItCoolNews". I trust Harry Knowles and his reviews, so I decided, Hey, it must be incredibly worthwhile.
Now I was expecting something absolutely horrifyingly scary. I am NOT a huge horror movie fan, but I've seen quite a few in my day. There have been many movies that have shaken me in my seat, Event Horizon being the one that sticks out most in my mind (only on the big screen though). Even Texas Chainsaw Massacre had moments where you got freaked out and you could feel the tension in your chest.
Let me just say that I was not impressed with this movie. I knew it would be really really messed up, but I thought that would be combined with EXTREMELY tense moments, moments that rip your from your seat and make you look away because you don't want to see what happens next. Hostel had none of that. It was just really, really messed up. The beginning was too cheesy with no drama, then once the drama started, there weren't any "teeth clenching" moments. Just moments where you said to yourself "wow, thats just not right." I just felt such a strong absence of the marriage of gore and tension. The two go hand in hand, and while you can have extreme tension with no gore, gore does improve it in a horror movie. A movie with no tension but lots of gore just leaves you a little white in the face, not wanting to eat BBQ sandwiches for a week, and emotionally you're disturbed.
Let me clarify what I mean by tension. I Don't mean tension between characters, or emotional tension of an individual. I mean the tension between your psyche and the action on the screen. Those moments when you feel a knot in your chest, and there is a 10 second pause in the movie, where you're left waiting to see when someone will jump out. Those moments where the camera slowly zooms in on someone, and you know something is about to happen. THAT is the tension I am talking about, and the tension that I feel REALLY makes a horror movie what it is; where movies can scare you worse than you've ever been scared in real life.
In summation, this movie was made to 'gross you out' with really really f'ed up scenes. Don't expect a great plot or character dynamics, or even a great ending. If you want to see people die in graphic ways, without clenching your teeth, you can either go to a torture museum, or watch this movie. This is a Gore-or movie, not a Horror movie.