90 Minutes that could have been better spent sleeping

Rating: 1/10 (21 May 2006)

Mostly my fault for not wanting to wait for Hostel to become available for renting in Holland, I ordered my US copy a few weeks ago. A Horror movie with Tarantino involved sounded like a great idea...and with baited breath I waited for my DVD to arrive...how disappointed I was to be... Read and take note, and do not bother watching this movie unless curiosity is going to get the better of you. -Since when was German the spoken language of the Netherlands? Last time I stepped out of my front door, Dutch was the language of the day. -Since when did prostitute's have their breasts hanging out on display in the infamous windows of the Red Light District? No pay no show! -I am sure the glammed up whore house where sexy silhouettes play across the glass doors exists only in the minds of those who have never been to Amsterdam. Tightly controlled and protected, prostitutes are not going to be working in a house where punters can walk around freely, open doors to their will, joining an already paying customer. -The entire Amsterdam chapter is a total fantasy of high school jocks who do not own a passport. -Being an American does not allow special priorities: loud arrogant tourists from no matter where will not be treated with any more respect than deserved: "I am an American" is not a life line. -During the torture scenes, surely fainting due to extreme high levels of pain would have occurred. -Grusome scenes become laughable and you have to wonder if in fact Hostel is a comedy in disguise. -When the hero escapes on the train and arrives somewhere in Europe, having a mix of German and other European languages on the sign posts creates confusion and a totally unacceptable end to what had already become a bad movie.