Were the critics on crack?

Rating: 2/10 (28 April 2006)

I was disappointed by Hostel. The commercials made it seem like it really was the scariest movie of all time, stating that paramedics had to be called on scene to take the movie's screeners to the hospital. It really didn't scare me at all like House of 1000 Corpses did. It was very cheesy and the element of imagination in horror movies didn't really exist because I didn't care about the characters. They were college kids who wanted to get laid and instead got mutilated. That's not too original. I'm not saying House of 1000 Corpses is original, I'm just saying that it scared me more, especially because of Dr. Satan and its spiritual aspects. I couldn't wait for the blood and guts in Hostel, but then when it happened all I could do was laugh my ass off at how fake it looked. When the girl's eye popped out I was laughing SO HARD. If you must see this horrible film, rent it... do not buy it. The ending was especially craptacular.