Maybe take that next vacation in Palm Springs.

Rating: 8/10 (16 January 2006)

Jay Hernandez and Derek Richardson play Paxton and Josh, two collage grads who are going on a last sex and drug binge through Europe before going back to the US and going into law school and getting trapped in a life of privilege and excess that most people in the world can only dream about. Poor Lads! Who can blame them for wanting to get down with their decadent selves? These two are the classic Ugly Americans.
With their brash ways and million $$ mega watt smiles, they stand out among the inhabitants of Eastern Europe like. . .Americans.
So, these fellows are assholes.
For the first half of the story, it's all fun and games.
While back packing it through Europe they encounter a wild and crazy guy named Ole from Iceland, (played by Eythor Gudjonsson, who surely must have studied Steve Martin) and they all embark on an adventure in New Amsterdam. While there, some Euro-trash type points them to a town in Slovakia where when women hear American accents, they fall over on their backs and beg for sex. Sound too good to be true? It is, because this is a horror film, where trips gone horribly wrong rule. Huzzah! We're off on the road to. . well, SOMETHING-vania. And like any country ending in "vania," you can bet it's got some nasty pitfalls.
At first, it's great. The Hostel, far from being some dirty, dingy little flea trap, is in a gorgeous, building reeking of old European charm, where you MUST have roommates, but it so happens they're female with large breasts who are constantly changing their clothes and urging you to join them in the coed spa downstairs where men and woman can sit around and sweat au natural. Before you know it, they're all in bed together and it seems the boys have found Nirvana. Sound too good to be true? It is, because this is a horror movie, and if someone is having great sex, can a grisly death be far behind? Pretty soon though, they wake up after making the sign of the Two-backed Beast all night long with their sexy (if slightly off girlfriends) minus Ole, and that's when things start to go seriously wrong. Our boys aren't without a conscience or feelings of affection for Ole, so there follows a fruitless search during which Paxton and Josh are drugged by the girls one night at a club. Paxton wakes up on the floor of the bathroom in the club, but the hapless Josh (the more "sensitive" of the two, on the rebound after a broken love affair) wakes up handcuffed to a chair in what seems to be a filthy dungeon, naked except for his briefs. A man dressed as a surgeon enters the room, says he's always wanted to perform surgery, and you can imagine the rest.
In the mean time, Paxton twigs to the fact something is terribly wrong and becomes obsessed with finding his friend. He goes to the police, who of course, do nothing except take note of the missing American and then he reluctantly enlists the aid of the two women, because he simply knows no one else to turn to.
Girlfriend leads him directly into the Belly of the Beast, laughingly telling him as he's being dragged away that she'll get great money for him.
He is dragged through the dungeon, where he gets (along with with us) subliminal glimpses of people in different rooms being horribly mutilated. He is chained to a chair, in a room, and we know he is destined to get the same treatment as his friend.
But no--what follows is an immensely satisfying turning of the tables by Paxton, an exhilarating escape, and The Revalation: It wasn't all just pointless torture. It was an outfit run by an organization called Elite Hunting. For many thousands of dollars you can slowly or quickly kill a person of the nationality of your choice. Americans are the biggest prizes and the most costly of all victims: $25,000.
Paxton's escape is damned exciting. . .I was cheering so hard for him I was having trouble staying in my seat.
All the reviews of this movie I've read say you can't root for Paxton and Josh, but I disagree totally. Yes, they're assholes, but lots of people are assholes at 21 years of age. And I disagree that they're unredeemable assholes. Josh has a sort of sweet, forlorn quality, and Paxton actually ends up doing a heroic turn at the end of the story. When he could have escaped, free and clear, he hears the screams of an Asian girl being tortured. He goes back down into the slaughter house, kills he tormentor, and brings her out. YES!! That's our boy!. . .although not before performing some interesting eye surgery.
I've also read that the movie is misogynistic. I disagree again.This movie takes a dim view of everyone: men, women AND children. Wait until you meet the darling little gang of street kids.
The production values are very nice, the cast is unknown (at least to me) and very good, and there's a nice feeling of paranoia throughout. Almost everyone the Americans meet is in on the plot to process people through the killing machine.
Oh..and I think the hype is over done. I actually went in nervous, thinking I was going to see things I'd not seen before. It didn't happen, even though I was highly entertained.
Also, there is a disturbing political subtext in the flick. You can read into it or not, it may or may not have been intended, but it is most definitely there. You can't help leaving the theater thinking, "Holy crap--are we THAT disliked by the world now?" Make of it what you may. . .and check it out.