the epitome of what's wrong with the horror genre

Rating: 1/10 (27 February 2008)

I don't consider myself too pretentious when it comes to film; but I have studied film at both a secondary and post-secondary level. So, I feel like I've had just preparation when it comes to judging the calibre of a film. What that being said, this is by far and away the worst film I have ever seen. Ever.
Eli Roth is the horror genre's Ed Wood. The only difference being Plan 9 From Outer Space is awful for all the right reasons, Hostel is awful for all the wrong reasons- and hopefully they won't glorify Eli Roth with a film about his life.
The film begins with gratuitous pornography. Don't get me wrong, the dime-a-dozen fake boobed blondes are nice to look at, but I could watch that at midnight on cable TV, I don't need to spend money to see it. So after getting laid often (the girls in those scenes may have been the worst actors in the film, by the way) the boys (who I think technically are our protagonists though there's no plot development to warrant that title) decide to travel across Europe to get with other hot chicks. Uh oh, I smell horror film cliché! That then turns into gratuitous torture. No, I didn't skip how they get there, the film elaborates on the plot about as well as I did. This was when I wretched my guts out. Not at the incessant gore, because while disgusting I frankly wasn't the least bit scared. The only thing that frightened me was that everyone around me in the theater seemed to enjoy it. What happened to the days of Hitchcock, or Wes Craven, where the build up was the best part. It wasn't watching the person get hacked to pieces that made it scary, it was the build up that really got to you.
The torture just went from slightly disturbing (I will admit that the achilles scene got to me a little bit) to flat out humorous. After a certain point I couldn't remember if I was watching a horror movie or Jeffrey Dahmer's wet dream. At one point Quentin Tarantino had class... or more class. Reservoir Dogs had its moments, as did Pulp Fiction, but there was depth to those movies. Reservoir Dogs made an actual point to develop each character. I don't want to know what back-room negotiation techniques Eli Roth participated in to get Tarantino to give this piece of trash his backing.
The ending had no plot twist, nothing. Unlike Saw 1 or 2 (I won't dignify the third or fourth) there was no intention to wow us at the end. Although after a certain point of watching Hostel I just didn't care. The only reason I didn't leave in the middle of this movie is because I'm too stubborn to admit I'd wasted 10 dollars.
Hostel was one of the original movies to follow the new horror film trend, which is to avoid actually scaring us, and trying to just make us sick. There's nothing terrifying about the gore in these films, in fact most often the acting is so bad I'm glad to see the characters getting what's coming to them for taking my money. The only thing that is actually scary is that there are people sick enough to want to make these types of movies, and sick enough to pay money to watch them.
I'm ashamed to have given my money to Eli Roth, and more ashamed that somehow this movie garnered a sequel.