I'm not a serial killer but...................

Rating: 3/10 (3 April 2006)

i have been waiting for this film since Christmas. "the sickest mainstream film ever made" they said. saw a kick ass screen shot of what looked like utter sickness to feast your eyes on. went to see it at the cinema and was my sick twisted mind satisfied...was it F**K. the concept of the film sounds terrifying and twisted. but the 40minuit porno film El Roth slapped in my face bored the sh*t out of me. as far as the "horror" and "disturbing" stuff goes it was pretty w*nk. okay i will admit there are some really sick moments (the eye scene, chainsaw scene, random vomiting etc etc etc) but on the hole there were too many naked European women and not enough death and destructing. to be honest i found most of it quite funny. and laughing out loud in a packed cinema full of horrified people isn't a good look. Hollywood has lost the knack of making you sh*t yourself and sleep with the lights on because your to scared to sleep. if i was Quintin Tarentino i'd wear a paper bag over my head and dig a big hole to live in till the dust has settled and till another so called "shock legend" makes another attempt to keep me awake in a cinema. the film was so bad i even wrote this load of sh*t and bothered to post it on the website. thats how f**king disappointed i am with this film. should have spent my cash on a porn film and cut up a joint of beef covered in blood as that would have the same effect that hostel had on me. why oh why do you mock me? oh and who the hell is El Roth? should call himself El I Make Movies That Are Equal To Premature Ejaculation Roth. god what an a** hole