Not all that good... (there are some spoilers)

Rating: 1/10 (6 January 2006)

A note, first: This movie is NOT directed by Quentin Tarantino. If it were, you can bet your sweet bippie that I would be all about it. This film was written and directed by Eli Roth whose previous film was the somewhat interesting Cabin Fever.
Anyway, the movie is about two Americans (and an Icelandic chap they met in their travels) who are backpacking through Europe for one last fling with sex and drugs before they move on into adult life. During one disastrous night in Amsterdam, they're told about a utopian hostel far away where the girls will do anything, especially for Americans.
Of course, they go.
Their first night at this miracle hostel is exactly what was promised, but the next day, their Icelandic friend has left without word...and apparently left with a Japanese girl he'd shown no interest in previously. The American boys are worried, but the Pakistani-American (I don't remember their names...that's how invested I was in these characters) told his friend that that's just how they do things in Europe and they should just continue to party and screw. So they did. The Pakistani-American passes out in a liquor closet, but his friend manages to make it back to their room...
...and wake up handcuffed to a chair, naked save for his boxer-briefs, with some guy choosing which tool to use first. Torture ensues.
The Pakistani-American wakes up in the liquor closet and goes about trying to find his friends. He meets up with the girls from the other night and now, they're not so mesmerizing as that first magical night. They're not wearing make up or club clothes and they look a tad strung out, but otherwise like every other girl in the world (a nice touch, IMO). Eventually, one of the girls takes him into the heart of darkness and he has to battle his way out.
It's like a 95 minutes (plus 10 minutes of trailers) cautionary tale about being a horny American in Europe...but there's no investment in the characters.
Hostel would have fit well in the 80s TnA horror flicks we all know, but it has a timeless vicious intensity that almost elevates it to the level of a good horror flick. Almost. However, just as with Roth's previous flick Cabin Fever, it's unfocused with some pretty bad dialogue and bad acting.
It felt as though the two or two and a half reels of lusty girls and pot were really to pad out the script to feature length, not to make the torture scenes that much more brutal. Eli Roth really needs to work on his writing...really, really.
The worst part about the movie HAS to be the score. Note to Eli Roth and his composer: You're not making Lord of the Rings here...you're making an attempt at a new millennium grind house horror flick. Your score is LAUGHABLE and not in a good way.
The best thing about the movie other than the great effects from Nicotero and Berger: Miike Takashi's cameo. I'd read about it in Fango, but forgot until I saw him. That was a WONDERFUL surprise.
Roth's obviously a horror fan...and a fan of Tarantino's (as evidenced by the usage of a clip from Pulp Fiction featuring Samuel L. Jackson - Ezekial 25:17). He references Sam Raimi and Suicide Club, as well. I'd have to watch it again for more, but I didn't like the film well enough to bother.
This sounds like a negative review...and it is. However, I must say that the last reel and a half or two reels were more along the lines of what I was expecting based on the trailers. There were two scenes where I was like "Dayum!" (Kana and the Kids at the end,) but as far as being disturbing or whatever I felt the impact lessened by a poorly written script and didn't really have anything to elevate it from that quagmire.
As for gore, well...I was brought up on Fulci, Argento, and Bava. I can understand where the average American will see this film and throw up...they haven't seen The Gates of Hell. For a horror fan who is well-educated in the genre and doesn't necessarily feel that the terms "well written" and "horror film" are mutually exclusive, it's a disappointment.
Oh, and as for the "based on true events" thing, Harry Knowles from AintItCoolNews showed Eli Roth a website where you could purchase a "murder vacation" for $10,000 and THAT'S the basis for the story. Roth doesn't even know if the website was real.
Overall, I wouldn't waste my ten bucks to see it in the theatres (I'm a projectionist so yippee for free), but I would waste my four bucks for a DVD rental and watch it with friends.