Here's a movie idea.....

Rating: Null/10 (7 October 2011)

OK,OK,OK...OK, so you have these guys that are like the ones in Porky's? But, instead of a strip bar in a swamp they're trying to sneak in to see naked breasts....it's Europe! See...yeah, and they're cruising their hyperactive hormones among foreigners like those depicted in National Lampoon's European Vacation...you know, with the American tourists behaving like the ugly Americans the pseudo-intellectual Euro-trash like to poke fun at.....and then...OK,OK,OK, this is good....take Texas Chainsaw, but instead of Texas, now, it's in.....get ready for this....Bratislava!! Yeah, I know...Eastern Europe...cool,huh? A bunch of Leatherfaces....and a gay one, too!...poke, prod, and mutilate our heroes using utensils from Aisle 7 of your local hardware store!! I'm loving this! Everyone's gonna love it!! And...for some comedy relief, you know, to keep the sadistic violence from being a buzz-kill, we throw in a bunch of sweet lil' street urchins as a psychopathic pre-teen youth gang (think Charles Manson as Alfalfa).....and here's the hook.....they kill you unless you give them bubble gum!! I know, it's great,huh?
So that's it basically....throw in a bunch of nude young women just to hack off the feminists and get the teen-age boys into seats....maybe include the name of a great and talented director...Americans stumbling over the native languages....and, for good measure, the "talking butt-cheeks" bit that always floors 'em!
I tell ya, it's a Can't Miss!!!!