Poor Bratislava

Rating: 3/10 (6 January 2006)

Poor Bratislava and Slovakia, talk about a place getting bad treatment from the movie industry. First it gets "armpit of the world treatment" in "Eurotrip", then it gets portrayed as the center of private enterprise torture in "Hostel". I saw "Hostel" on impulse (seeing Tarentino's name after the film title on the theater's list of show-times) without realizing it was the actually the brainchild of Eli Roth, who apparently intended it as a homage to Takashi Miike's "Audition". It is an improvement on Roth's boring first movie, "Cabin Fever". Although neither movie (Roth's stuff does not rise to the level of an actual film) is even remotely scary, at least with "Hostel" Roth keeps his tendency toward "Evil Dead" silliness in check until the last few minutes.
Anyway the first half of the film is pretty much a replay of "Eurotrip's" Amsterdam and train travel scenes, including the funny pervert in the train compartment. I found myself wishing very early in the movie that the three guys were traveling with Michelle Trachtenberg. This wish intensified during the sauna scene in the hostel where the only exploitation elements were a skanky Russian blonde and her fat slug-like friend. The movie would certainly have benefited visually from Trachtenberg's presence or even from the "Cabin Fever" brunette (despite her nonexistent acting skills she at least looked good). Heck, by this time I would have even settled for Jay Hernandez hooking up with his "Hang Time" girlfriend Amber Barretto.
Anyway the three guys arrive in Bratislava and Roth slowly reveals that it is the home ground of a club that provides its members with people to torture and kill (watch 2002's "My Little Eye" if you think Roth might actually be doing something original). At this point the thing starts to look a lot more like "Toolbox Murders" or "The Driller Killer" than "Audition" and I began to yearn for an appearance by Angela Bettis. But instead Roth gives us a confused Asian girl who can't speak English very well.
Fortunately or unfortunately you never actually identify with those being tortured. But there is at least a point to all the torture as it gives the hero a reason to inflict ultra-violence once the tables are turned and the audience a excuse to mildly cheer every silly development from that point until the movie itself thankfully expires. There was no audience applause at the end as everyone was in a hurry to get out and have some BBQ down the street.
To make matters worse for the Slovakia Ministry of Tourism, the one thing Roth manages to do very well is to convey the isolation felt by a tourist in a strange place and the target on the back of Americans in foreign countries these days. Given our image in the eyes of the world these days if such a torture business did exist it is likely that American victims would be in great demand and would command a healthy price premium. There are not just corrupt police but a gang of street urchins who extort gum and candy from visitors.
"Hostel's" wide theatrical release and $18 Million marketing campaign (verses just $4 Million production cost) pay homage to P.T. Barnum's comment: "No one every went broke 'underestimating' the intelligence of the American people". There is little danger that Roth will ever be mistaken for David Cronenberg. Save your money for the "Saw II" DVD.
Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.