Intriguing premise, extremely poor execution

Rating: 7/10 (5 December 2006)

Admittedly, I was deceptively seduced by this film's trailer and movie poster into believing that this film would cross the threshold into uncharted territory of the horror genre. OK, OK, I know. That's the desired effect the movie makers hope to accomplish with those two vehicles. However, the disturbingly haunting advertisements were so reminiscent of dark films such as The Shining, The Exorcist, and even The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (all three breaking new ground in cinematic horror), that I took the bait. Unfortunately, as is all too often the case, I was disappointed. When will I learn my lesson? What worked for me: I found the premise that wealthy perverts pay Slovakian mobsters big bucks to torture and murder kidnapped tourists to be quite chillingly possible, just as films like Hardcore and 8mm exposed the feasibility of "snuff" films. I must also confess that I found the blatantly gratuitous lovemaking scene extremely hypnotic. Two beautiful and quite nude Slovakian ladies writhing to The Sneaker Pimp's "How Do" playing in the background was intoxicating. Please forgive the male hetero dog in me.
What didn't work for me: the director, Eli Roth, failed in his obvious attempt to assault me with an "over-the-top" sado-sexual exploitation film. Sure, there were a couple times when I winced and said "Yuck!" (such as when a victim's eyeball is torn from its socket and left dangling whilst she screams), but at no time did this film remotely deliver the fear it promised. Even the violence was an overall shock-less "blah." Character development was so non-existent that I felt not a smidgen of sympathy for the protagonists. Roth would have had better luck if this film had been geared towards a public health message warning "keep it in your pants and don't sleep around or you might have your fingers cut off and your eyeballs ripped out of your head", as the two protagonists come off as a couple horny imbeciles looking to score on anything female, awake or passed out. The ending was not only inconceivably unrealistic, but I found myself shaking my head in disbelief at such a botched attempt at irony. The only irony I enjoyed was reading the film's tag line: "Welcome to your worst nightmare" as I left the theater. There was no art here, only the greedy intent to capitalize on violence looking for their next fix. I enjoyed Cabin Fever more than this film, and I hated Cabin Fever.
I'll leave you with this: if "I Spit On Your Grave" floated your boat, then you'll probably see this film as a masterpiece, and if you do, I have two words for you: Get Help!