Is There Such Thing as Too Many Hip-Hop Dance Moves?

Rating: Null/10 (9 January 2004)

Sadly, there will never be another Glitter. That misbegotten mess of untamed vanity and insanity was never distinguished by its tragic celbri-trash idiocy and Mariah Carey's tragic acting skills. There's nothing really idiotic about Honey, the latest hip-hop after-school special on Beat Street. In fact, there's nothing about it at all-this is just Hollywood fullfilling its overdue community-service hours, truly and sweetly. Jessica Alba goes from a dark angel to a street angel, flashing her beatific smile and her glistening abs and her beatific navel as she balances a meteoric dance career with the Bronx 'hood. So supposedly superior are her dance moves (standard club gyrations mixed with ballet flourishes) that she captivates the hip-hop industry in mere weeks, after being plucked from clubworld by a powerful video director. Honey is fixated on stage cameos at the expense of its very short dance sequences and the idol-worshipping understates the movie's anti-bling moralism. Despite some sizzle with her love interest, the beautiful Jessica Alba ends up a *major sigh* desexualized mouthpiece for lines such as "I see kids go from bad homes to bad schools and back". On the sunny side, it does have a fair chance at winning the Democratic Party nomination it got.