Sorry, I didn't fall for it.

Rating: 5/10 (20 May 2005)

Will Smith is the world's most popular film star. No, seriously. He is. Statistically, he draws the most customers for Hollywood. It's rumored that every time a Will Smith movie bombs and the statistics drop, so do the film executives  from their skyscrapers. (Just kidding, I made that one up.)
They say it's because he's a "white black." I don't know what that's supposed to mean, or maybe I do and I just don't want to upset anyone. Hollywood is still a very race-targeted business and Smith himself claimed in an interview that they wouldn't cast an African-American lead opposite him in the film for fear of alienating those stuffy middle-class redneck conservatives. (I am, of course, saying this with tongue planted firmly in cheek.) Instead they opted for Eva Mendes. Bravo, Hollywood.
Mendes is very pretty and all, but she shares absolutely zero chemistry with Will Smith. In fact I found most of the film's sequences involving "Hitch" (Smith), a successful "love doctor," forced. The funnier moments involved Hitch teaching his protégés how to seduce women  the clownish parts of "Hitch" reference a sort of physical, silly comedy in the vein of Chaplin and Keaton (such as when Hitch tries to teach a man how to dance, or more appropriately how not to dance.). That's when "Hitch" is at its best.
It's at its worst when it's layering on the sugarcoated romantic schlock, and if this flick were a cake, it'd be the fattiest piece of calorie-packed gooey nonnutritive substance ever.
"Hitch" had potential to be different from the other romantic comedies  the ads made it look like it was to be about two sparring love experts (a hook-up doctor and a gossip columnist) battling each other with witty verbal attacks and, in the process, falling helplessly in love. Instead, we get the standard routine:
1. Guy gets Girl 2. Girl can't believe how perfect Guy is 3. Guy hides a secret from Girl 4. Girl misunderstands Guy's secret 5. Girl breaks up with Guy 6. Guy reveals Girl was wrong 7. Girl feels bad about her misunderstanding 8. Guy and Girl make up
All you've got to know about "Hitch" is the following:
1) If you've seen at least one romantic comedy in your lifetime, you will know this inside-out  before you even walk into the theater.
2) If you like Will Smith, you might like this.
3) If you think Eva Mendes is hot, rent "Training Day."
Personally, I found this all rather dry. It's not a horrible film, it's not offensive and it doesn't leave a bad taste. Yep, it's nice, gentle and sweet and a good date movie, I suppose. But I guess I've just seen this whole thing one too many times, now.