John Cuteness overload

Rating: Null/10 (20 March 2002)

I'd like to advance what is probably a minority opinion: I do not like John Cusak. He bugs me. I like him when he's just an actor, like in Being John Malcovich or Say Anything, but let him into the creative process and you can have him.
Having been warned that High Fidelity was done by the same people behind Grosse Point Blank (i.e. expect kooky sister Joan to appear in a bit part that critics will gush over), I knew that I probably wouldn't like it beforehand. I was right. Instead of a cute 80s obsessed hitman we have a cute 80s to early 90s obsessed whiner who sleeps with a lot of chicks. And oh how the chicks annoyed me too. I imagine most people who liked the movie convinced themselves that Lisa Bonet's kickback nu-soul character was 'sultry', or that Catherine Zeta-Jones' too-cool yuppie was sexy, but not me.
One of the few pleasurable moments in the movie was when John Cusak realized just how wretched a person Catherine Zeta-Jones' character was. But she's the only one who gets what's coming. I mean, how could anyone want to put cute little John Cusak in his place, with his cute little practiced puppydog look and mushy-wushy monologues about his girlfriend rubbing her feet together in her sleep, awwww...... I just could never be as convinced of John Cusak's cuteness as he is.
So why did I rent it in the first place? For Jack Black as the fat, bullying record nerd. Jack Black ROCKS!
But basically the bottom line is this: John Cusak is a girlfriend's mix tape. Stop the Cusaks! Stop them now!