Good Time to Check Out AncestryDNA

Rating: 6/10 (13 January 2019)

Hereditary:
Disappointment and enjoyment; those are two words that come to mind when thinking about watching the largely hyped new horror movie "Hereditary". We were expecting it to be scarier, more shocking moments, more questions about the movie concept. Not questions about scenes and motivations. Don't get us wrong, we thoroughly enjoyed watching the movie, however, we left disappointed with a gut-wrenching feeling of emptiness. It's like going in for a bite of pepperoni pizza, only to discover it's a kale salad. Just like Kale salad, this movie did not fill our stomachs with horror goodness. All hail king Paimon! This was a new villain which was refreshing, but ultimately another devil-worshipping plot line. Grandma was crafty and sealed her families fate years ago. If only her son hadn't learned of her plans (or gone insane) and ended his own life, then Annie's family would not have needed to cease to exist. Ok, well Peter made it out, lucky dog. Paimon prefers a male host. They're keeping it all in the family as the title suggests, it's hereditary! We were at the edge of our seats waiting for that "jump" or "ah ha" moment. I guess when Hell freezes over we will be satisfied. We kept waiting for the figurines that Annie creates to come into play after the first scene had shown the figures coming to life. Were we supposed to think they were all pieces in a puzzle that was set into motion years ago? So much more could have been explored! But, Toni Collette and the rest of the cast were outstanding and it was very well made. Also quick shoutout to the talented Milly Shapiro (Charlie) for making her character truly convincing and strange! And, those doll creations you constructed, #creepy.
Superlatives:
Worst Death: Would it be the beheading of Charlie, the suicide of Annie herself, or look your husband is on fire? I think it's a three-way tie!
Most likely to have a booming Etsy business: Grandma Ellen and her lovely personalized floor mats. Where can we find those?!
Best Liar: Aunt Lydia. I mean, Joan. Nothing like conning a mourning mother.
Overall Grade: B- (you passed, however not quite there for a solid grade)