Do Not Believe The Hype!

Rating: 1/10 (8 June 2018)

Do I live in the Twilight Zone or something? I'm completely baffled if this is what people consider:
"A modern day horror masterpiece." (USA Today)
The reviewers of this movie are either delusional, been paid off, or Ari Aster himself because there is absolutely NO POINT TO THIS MOVIE. No destination. A soulless automaton disguised as a profound mediation on:
"An unsettling look at the demons we have inherited from our parents." (Vanity Fair)
Wow, what a great one liner right? The things a talented filmmaker could've done with this simple seed of an idea, an idea that permeates, connects, and could've been a genre defining masterpiece but instead I was given:
Paper thin characters. A plot that had no trajectory. Laughable performances from the whole cast. Horror imagery that served no purpose other than, this looks scary! Style over substance.
Toni Colette, you've disappointed me dearly. Thought I was in for an Oscar Award Winning performance and what I was left with was a comedic rendition of what it truly means to be an artist. You talked about giving your soul into this character and all I saw was a performance with no intention.
This is the same company (A24) that released "It Comes At Night" and "The Witch," two other mediocre horror movies billed to be the scariest films of all time when they were released.
It was one of the worst experiences I had in a theater and in film in general. People were in uproarious fits of laughter throughout the 2 HOUR RUNTIME for what was supposed to be:
"Terrifying." (Indiewire) and "Bone-chilling" (The Hollywood Reporter)
Clearly Ari needs help with his storytelling skills. He has technical finesse, but technicality is nothing when compared to a story with nuance and insight, something that is emotionally compelling and moving. The movie had the depth of a puddle after a drizzle.
The trailer is probably the best part of this movie. Watch the trailer and save yourself the money.
P.S. I literally made an account TODAY to review this and I never post reviews. I'm a huge horror fan and thats how awful and disappointed I was at this movie. Never trusting review sites again.