Greek mythology, Disney style

Rating: Null/10 (7 December 1998)

If you thought "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"'s toying with the original was bad, wait'll you see this. Zeus and Hera (and, get this, they're not brother and sister!) are happily married! Yeah, Hercules is Hera's kid! And he doesn't kill Megara! Did we mention his name is supposed to be Heracles? DID I MISS SOMETHING???... Anyway, what did you expect, it's Disney. As was said many times before, this film is candy, although for me it's not an exceptionally tasty piece of candy. Bland animation, bad music (the Muses need to shut up - oh yeah, and that song "I Won't Say" - oh God I think I need a vomit bag!), and, aside from James Woods, ho-hum voice acting. Funny parts here and there (mostly with Woods) but aside from the self-referential merchandising jabs, nothing to write home about. And the plot, with absolutely no parallel in Greek mythology, is rather bland. But, hell, it's all worth it to see James Woods as Hades.... oh yeah, and the ending. *sniff* I haven't felt this choked up since I got a hunk of MUSAKA caught in my throat, huh? huh?... Is this an audience or a mosaic?