Worse Than A Virus

Rating: 1/10 (27 December 2013)

Back when THE TWILIGHT ZONE episode TO AGNES WITH LOVE showed antisocial, lust- burdened geek Wally Cox falling hard for his female-voiced computer, it probably seemed pretty bizarre since office-sized computers weren't exactly a commodity...
Skip to the early eighties with the obscure movie ELECTRIC DREAMS: since PC's had barely taken off, it was downright extraordinary that a talking computer would behave in a humanly if diabolical fashion...
But the last twenty years with Internet chat rooms, social networks, dating websites and the navigating Siri herself, having a physically benign relationship via machine isn't entirely far-fetched. And in the near-future world, brought to life by writer/director Spike Jonze, it's an all too normal occurrence.
Joaquin Phoenix plays Theodore, a lonely writer working at a job perfectly suited for quirky art-house fare: writing actual letters for other people by speaking into a computer. But things happen after Theodore gets home. Brooding through a divorce, he downloads a brand new operating system, OS1, which includes the girl of his dreams, Samantha, a computer taking care of just about every task, voiced by a soothingly silky-toned Scarlett Johansson.
The setup is intriguing. Theodore and Samantha get to know each other as he ventures outside and, with a camera in his phone and hearing her voice from an earpiece, she can view the real world: from outdoor malls to beaches to the wilderness, Samantha experiences life while not only saying the right things things but singing and composing music to fit each location and mood.
An intriguing premise is hindered by the relationship seeming way too normal – to Theodore and just about everyone else. Since he admits outright to having a personal relationship with an OS, there's no mystery or guilt involved with such a unique concept. Not only that but Phoenix, no stranger to intense/bizarre characters, isn't given a chance to shine in his usual askew light. And the sappy, downright embarrassing scenes where Theodore and Samantha confess their mutual adoration is like overhearing a smitten couple whispering sweet nothings, making the audience a third wheel which ultimately goes flat.
Perhaps if, like 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, Samantha got real dirty we'd have a relationship worth the experience. FATAL ATTRACTION goes viral would beat this searing hipster flick with more naval-gazing theme than plot line. Although there is one particular "baby alien" on Theodore's virtual realty game console that, like the sassy, foul-mouthed teddy bear TED, would have made a much more unpredictable, entertaining sidekick.