Pretty stupid

Rating: 5/10 (1 February 2014)

"Her' is the type of movie that doesn't invite ambivalence; you either love it or ..um...you don't. It's numbingly slow, boring most of the time and pretty stupid.
It had some good things, like the premise, which extrapolates from our already cyber-obsessed society to the near future. Here, people are even more disconnected from each other, to the point where computers and gadgets offer an emotional substitute. Interesting and could've been good. So lonely nice guy Theodore gets himself an OS for companionship. I'm thinking Scarlett's showing up in his apt as a saucy, android wench, fulsome lips and bosom at the ready. But no, she's just a computer program ... cold shower, Theo. She speaks though - and not like the robot from Lost in Space - but all breathy, giggly, half drunk, almost post-coital. And what a gal she/it is! Funny, caring, non-judgemental, bawdy and helpful ... suddenly, just like that! The perfect girlfriend. Trouble is, in order to convince us that it's possible for Theo to fall in love with 'Samantha' without the physical er, component, much talking between the two was required. And boy, did they talk and talk ... and talk. Did doze off a bit.
So I understand now that this is a 'deep' movie; it's telling me that love conquers all, surpasses everything, including sexual urges, so no need for Theo to put his penis in a socket. What a load! Then comes a lot of dumb stuff: the masturbation scene, where Theo gets his hard drive up and nuts n' bolts Samantha actually 'climaxes.' Hahaha. Surely this would've been a good time for Sam to say "I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that." The ridiculous double date with the human couple - 3 mammals and a chip romping in the meadow! Not wishing to be cybephobic or specist or anything.
Sick of masturbating and replacing semen-damaged USB's, Theo dumps Sam for a while. She's hurt, but understanding, as always. Then, seeing nothing's happening with Amy Adams, he misses her and wants her back, being the total invertebrate he is. But in the meantime, Sam's been playing around with a few thousand other computers - now that's just promiscuous! So they split up ... and who cares?! Weirdo Wahkin Phoenix put in a v. good performance, mostly because he could keep a straight face. The nondescript Amy Adams was surprisingly good, too, and it was an inspired choice to cast Johansson as the voice. Even though we couldn't see her, with that husky, slutty voice, da boiz can visualise her, loping around, pouting, whispering "byte me." Somehow, I don't think the 'love conquers all' theme would've worked if Fran Drescher did the voice.
This film took a cool concept and made it boring, tiresome and silly. Fellas, stick to the hookers; they may not be as caring, but they still function when wet.
Spoiler alert: Hell hath no fury like a laptop scorned 5 outta 10