Being able to relate to a film makes all the difference in the world

Rating: 10/10 (28 December 2019)

I saw this film when it came out and found it rather boring and too far fetched and left sort of rolling my eyes. There were parts I enjoyed and as always watching Joaquin Phoenix is worth the price of admission. But I would have given it a 5-6 as a rating overall in 2013.
Fast forward 6-7 years.
I watched it again, this time after falling in love with someone online. Not flirting, I mean fell in love. And this film covers almost all of those feelings entirely (embellished of course) but it's exactly what it's like but in sci-fi fantasy form.
If this wasn't written by someone who has fallen in love online I would be completely shocked.
When you have an online relationship, the person is able to show you what you want to see. And if they don't you can create the person you want in your mind. Either way, you end up with an idealized version of everything you've ever wanted in someone. But that person doesn't exist. They only exist in your phone or computer. Sure you may see photos and videos and hear their lovely voice, but they aren't real. They are a fantasy. And when you finally meet, it feels like the surrogate who was sent over by Samantha. Who is this stranger? How can someone you know so well seem so different and like you don't know them at all?
Then everything becomes weird and awkward because you realize that the person you love is in your phone and the real person feels like a stranger. And all your friends who haven't gone through it think you are crazy. Or they pretend to go along with it and act as if it's "normal". And maybe it has become normal today. Which makes Her even more relevant.
This film isn't really about falling in love with an operating system. It's about falling in love with someone who might as well be. It's about being so hurt and becoming so detached that you can no longer have real relationships. Even if the person is right in front of you and not online. We create a fantasy image of a romantic partners in the beginning and they are never really that person. Not ever. Eventually we find out who they really are (and they do also) and everything changes. Or we move onto another fantasy that thrills us more once the excitement of the fantasy wears off. Or we stop even trying.
This film is staggeringly brilliant now that I understand it. It's not sci-fi at all, it's a gigantic dose of reality. Watch this film with your mind instead of your eyes. Then you will see.