Can't smile without you...

Rating: 8/10 (15 July 2008)

My bud Lauren, asked me if "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" was worth seeing. I told him where else would you see Hellboy (Ron Perlman)hulking red monster guy, and Abe Sapien (Doug Jones)slender amphibian guy both drunk on beer and singing Barry Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You"one of the greatest love songs of the Twentieth Century. You've got to acknowledge Director and Writer Guillermo del Toro for his full throttle, outrageous, and stylishly weird "Hellboy II: The Golden Army". These further adventures of Red (Hellboy) are based on Mike Mignola's comic book. Ron Perlman reprising Hellboy is awesome. He has the right balance of gruff smart ass and reluctant superhero down. Hellboy is a charismatic, wisecracking, and muscled out hero. It has been 5 years since we last saw Red: we find that his relationship with the love of his life Liz (strong and quirky Selma Blair) maybe down for the count. Liz bares a secret, she is not sure she should disclose to Hellboy.
However, this is the least of their worries. Two pieces to the legendary triad have been usurped by the powerful Prince Nuada (noble and strong Luke Goss), the white maned martial arts blade wielding warrior. The triad is the dismantled crown of King BalorNuada's father. The one who possesses the Crown, commands The Golden Army, the most deadly soldiers in the world. The Crown was dismantled in the truce between the humans and the "immortals". What these fantastical beings are is a little confusing, if not completely nebulous. Oh, well this may become clearer on a repeat viewingor not. Prince Nuada needs to recover the third piece. The secret to the whereabouts may lie with his twin sister Princess Nuala (gentle and strangely beautiful Anna Walton).
Seeking to stop Nuada are Hellboy, Liz, Abe, who embody the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense, the shadow organization which specializes in defeating the creepy and fantastical. Headed by Tom Manning (hysterical Jeffrey Tambor), the Bureau is in dire need of a public relations makeover. Enter Johann Krauss (Seth MacFarlane), a German accented protoplasmic vapor encased in a retro diving suit. There is logic somewhere in this thread-- somewhere. Del Toro masterfully corners the market on the weird.
The brilliant and mannered Abe (excellent Doug Jones) researches the mythology of The Golden Army, and eventually finds himself in love with Nuala (Walton). Hence, we have the drunken Manilow singing display. Prince Nuada is perhaps the unbeatable warrior. Is Hellboy a match for the great Prince? Can Hellboy stop The Golden Army, and still restore his relationship with Liz (Blair)? Well, you just have to watch the movie. Before the dramatic battle between Red and Nuada, Red says with bravado and disgust, "I won't kill him. I'm gonna kick his ass!" The final conflict is visually spectacular. Like all the action and visuals in "Hellboy II", they are exquisitely executed just over the top. "Hellboy II" is perfect stylish and spirited camp. What makes it all work is that Ron Perlman makes you root for Hellboy. "Hellboy II" is not the greatest movie of the year with its confusing narrative elements and blazing pace. However, it is one of the more enjoyable escapes of the summer. Sit back and enjoy the ride.