HeyBoll

Rating: 3/10 (13 August 2008)

A lot in this movie is reminiscent of Uwe Boll's erm...opus. It's more expensive, the effects are better, but in all honesty, I can't truly find any talent in this Hellboy sequel. A sequel it really is, in that dirtiest meaning of the word. It just tries to cash in on a successful first, with mindless repeat of the recipe that used to work, only with differing quantities of some ingredients.
This movie lacks purpose. It's just another tall tale set in the Hellboy universe, a rather generic story offering no further insight into whatever magical world the supernatural heroes originate from.
In fact, the supernatural becomes the norm in this sequel. There are far less human beings, and far, far more props from "Neverending Story" walking around, being weird-for-the-sake-of-being-weird. Kinda like every faux medieval movie features midgets, a fair, or an Inn.
Don't get me wrong. These creatures are all fun to look at, but this just ruins the atmosphere, it's not a movie, but a showcase of what some CGI crew can do.
Remember the sequels to MATRIX? The first one played around with the idea that the viewer could be living inside a computer program, without knowing it. The sequels completely forgot this thought-provoking layer of the story. The first Hellboy toyed around with the idea that supernatural beings are somewhere, saving our existence from unimaginable evil beings from other worlds. Hellboy II feels like it went to this other world, rented a bad apartment and threw a cheesy party for the freakish neighbours.
Then, there's the emotion. Or the lack of it. Guillermo Del Toro is probably not some writing/directing robot who's only encounter with real life, love and loss is from watching movies... but he sure as hell writes/directs all the "human" scenes like a robot.
After watching all Guillermo Del Toro's opus, I am now pretty sure he simply can't manage the flow of his work. There's never a really impressive entrance scene, everything overstays its welcome ( be it a fight, or dialogue, it's always just too long ). Whenever there's supposed to be a climactic scene, Guillermo ruins it by doing something, and then some more, and then some more. Fights last for ages, dialogues repeat themselves, people die for hours, and talk for hours while dying. Guillermo ruins it by driving in the point. He just doesn't know how to do climax. He just hasn't got it. Just like this last few lines I wrote. I overdid it. Get it? If that wasn't enough, I'll just throw in a winking smiley face. Or a couple of 'em.
I suppose HellboyII will make a lot of cash, and a few things in this one point to another sequel. It's all OK, but next time don't let Del Toro do anything but the puppets.