Die Hard made love to The Dark Crystal!

Rating: 9/10 (26 August 2008)

Having enjoyed the first Hellboy movie, I made time to visit the cinema the other day to watch the sequel Hellboy II: The Golden Army. I often don't get time to visit the cinema and this can be really infuriating if I end up watching a less than great movie, but this certainly wasn't the case with Hellboy II! Once again, the directing and writing was overseen by Guillermo del Toro and, once again, he didn't disappoint. In fact, after Blade II, Pan's Labyrinth and now the Hellboy movies, I'm fast becoming an admirer of his.
The plot for Hellboy II is this: The mythical world that Hellboy was rejected from as a young child starts a rebellion against humanity in order to rule the Earth. An elf prince (played by former Bros singer Luke Goss) leads the assault and seeks control of the ancient mechanised Golden Army to virtually guarantee him victory. Hellboy and his team are assigned with stopping him.
I'll start by mentioning the many creatures in this movie. Guillermo del Toro knows how to do great, fantastical and scary looking creatures. If he ever does a Star Wars type movie (which I sincerely hope he does) my money is on it surpassing anything George Lucas has offered us. The creatures are nothing short of incredible. Several times during the movie, I thought I was watching the likes of Star Wars, Labyrinth and Total Recall all rolled into one.
Actually, the whole movie feels like the end result of Die Hard making love to The Dark Crystal. At one point, Hellboy takes on a huge forest elemental in the middle of a busy street while simultaneously trying to protect a baby and the whole experience is just brilliant. Also, early on in the movie, Hellboy and his team get attacked by tooth fairies. I bet any kid who lays eyes on them and what they're capable of will refuse to leave teeth under their pillow from then on. Even the elves go against more traditional imagery, their normally fair skin instead showing imperfections and unusual scars.
So, given that this isn't Shakespeare or some "lah-de-dah" period drama, the pace of the story and the standard of acting is top notch. I have to mention Luke Goss again. He surprised me as Nomak in Blade II and again he surprised me with another impressive performance as the elf prince. Forget a Bros reunion, Luke, you're best off sticking with your current profession!
Finally, there's the comedy, perfectly mixed in with the more serious aspects of the plot and the action scenes. There are several very funny moments but two really stood out for me; Hellboy and team mate Abe Sapien getting drunk together while discussing their love lives. A jolly old sing-along ensues and Barry Manilow's "Can't smile without you" gets murdered (if that's at all possible). Also, new character Johan Krauss is stereotypically German (or, at least, from near there) and this adds so much to his hilarious argument/punch-up with Hellboy.
In conclusion then, I'll keep it short and sweet: watch this movie!