Heavy on Effects, But Not Very Special

Rating: 7/10 (19 April 2004)

As with many of my fellow viewers here at IMDb, I at first had no interest in seeing this obscure comic book figure's cinematic debut, but preliminary favorable reviews and commentary found me pushing my $6.50 across the counter for the Sunday matinee viewing of "Hellboy". It was not $6.50 well spent.
Arcane as the character and story of "Hellboy" are, the film itself is disturbingly reminiscent of at least a dozen other (and better) movies. It isn't that the idea of an oversized, wisecracking demon, adopted and raised from infancy by the OSS in 1944, battling evil on the side of Righteousness is not without originality or merit, but we have pretty much seen everything before; a sinister Nazi plot to use supernatural powers to aid their nefarious cause ("Raiders of the Lost Ark"); top secret government offices and agencies to deal with phenomena kept hidden from the populace, yet operating under our very noses ("Men in Black"); special groups of creatures, i.e. misfits, with outlandish powers in hidden academies, led by benevolent elderly gentlemen ("The X-Men", "League of Extraordinary Men"); battles with slimy monsters living in abandoned tunnels in New York City ("Ghost Busters", among others); a girl with pyrokinetic powers ("Firestarter") and so on, and on and on...
It begins promisingly enough, but soon bogs down under its own weight with recondite references to biblical demonology, and increasingly bizarre (and apparently immortal) enemies. The fight scenes are violent, but dark and difficult to follow, as is the climax, which is held in a huge and elaborate underground vault looming beneath a cemetery near Moscow and outfitted with giant hammers with no other apparent purpose than to smash a bridge (don't ask). Perhaps the comic book saga explains these things in greater detail, but in an hour an a half, the uninitiated general viewer just gets lost (and bored).
The new government agent selected to chaparone Hellboy brings remarkably little to the film. This is a role which might have been played by Keanu Reeves or even Matthew Broderick with some greater success, but here just plods along as the script directs.
There is a fellow made of sand who winds himself up like a watch, an esp accoutered aquatic being with the voice of Niles Crane named for Abraham Lincoln, a beautiful Nazi woman named Ilsa who does not age after 60 years, and of course the Czarist priest Rasptutin plays a major role in the proceedings. None of it makes much sense, but then again, that could be a good thing...