Just saw a special screening...

Rating: Null/10 (16 March 2004)

... and what I saw was a huge steaming pile of crap on the screen! Now I've never picked up a Hellboy comic in my life so I had no clue what to expect other than thinking it had a pretty cool trailer. Maybe if I had I would've empathized a bit with some of the characters, but if that's true, it's just a lame excuse for a poor movie. I couldn't have cared less about ANYONE in the film. Every time you think you're about to get to know a charater better, the movie cuts away to a different character. The fight scenes had absolutely no tension - I was rooting for the bad guys most of the time even though they were pretty lame too. (I'm still not really sure what their evil plan was - open up hell and destroy the earth or somesuch nonsense - they never really said why they wanted to - of course, they never really said anything at all!) There was some nice eye candy but mostly just bad CG. Aquadude looked really cool but he never really did anything. Selma Blair was hot as always but the love triangle thing was utterly boring. There were only a couple of funny moments in the movie (like literally two) and a lot of poor cliched attempts at humor. Anyway, I'm through venting and if you haven't seen it, think twice before shelling out good money for this crappy movie.