Watching this was Hell, Boy!

Rating: 5/10 (15 June 2004)

I liked comic book characters as a kid, and still liked 'Spiderman' and 'Hulk' in theaters, so I wanted to like this film about one I never heard of before- HELLBOY! The word of mouth was good, so I gave it a chance. Big mistake. Even though Hellboy himself was charming and should be given a sitcom or variety show, he just didn't have good material to work with. Hellboy, although clearly derived from the X-Man Wolverine in attitude, muscles, and facial hair, was fun and a devil bon vivant. The supporting characters were also quite fun, the professor played by John Hurt(Hellboy's adoptive father), the green FBI agent to appeal to chicks with his buster brown haircut, and Hellboy's other mutant buddy, Abe Sapien- a telepathic fish man. The fish dude, although listed as being played by another actor, had to be voiced by David Hyde Pierce of 'Frasier' TV fame- if it's not I'll eat some raw halibut! I expected the fish/hero to start complaining about his skinny wife Maris. Conversely, the bad guys and the monsters Hellboy had to fight weren't very appealing- they were either ridiculous looking or had no charisma whatsoever. It was also unclear as to what could stop them, or if they could be killed. They could survive some things, but be destroyed be similar types of attacks- it didn't even make fantasy film/comic book sense.

Another shortcoming with the film is it's excessive length. Two hours felt like ten, and the storyline seemed pointless. There also never seemed to be real tension, and the fight scenes were hard to follow. Go see 'The Mummy' or 'Hulk' again, and skip 'Hellboy'. Wait till he's hosting a talk show on TV to catch his act.