Oh boy, what a waste of money. Bad bad bad, should have been a 3 part kids drama

Rating: 1/10 (13 November 2001)

What can I say, I've not read the books and i'm not gonna now. After JK Rowling's pathetic feature I grudge giving the Rowling Potter machine any more cash. Why? The film lacks everything, wooden acting with a script that should end Steven Kloves' career(but won't due to the hype behind this waste of celluloid)(really Steve, Wonder Boys was good, baker boys was fantastic, but Potter should be your epitaph). Maggie Smith's Script was cringingly poor, Robbie Coltrane started the film as a 'Ooo bee there farmer' from Cornwall, and ended up as his usualy Glaswegian self, part from that he was by far the best Adult in the film. Rickman was well.... typical Rickman, no thought to his character in the script as he could have been better used. All other actors like Cleese, Hunt and Walters had the right idea, and lasted about 2 minutes each(take the money and run folks) The CGI in the film was appauling, note all the scenes with the castle in the background and anything in front of it. This was not helped by the trailer of Lord of the Rings being screened before the film started.(Chris Dickson has no idea on Special effects, and no doubt the review was written by Rowling herself) The ending was dull and could have been more interesting than it's failed attempt. As for the twist at the end and how Harry Beat Voldemort, 'Oh yeah I got it....' it was clear to the whole audiance that it was a complete copout(underlying message was okay if the kids would ever have the brains to work it out, too deep and meaningful for the film). The film should have been a 3 part kids drama, the cgi would have looked a bit better on the small screen(but still not good, it would have looked like a medium budget TV dramas attempt at special effects). But hey they need all those toys sold this christmas... Why was the film made again?
Above all else the plot drags on and on, (being a H potter newbie I was really interested in finding out what all the hype was about) and is 1 hour longer than it should have been. Kids will really really want to go and see it, Adults will really really want to take their kids, not for the kids to see the film, but to get 2 hours of their kids sleeping(sorry to all those adults with Hyper kids, you'll just get more agro).
Anyway enjoy! and remember each cinema ticket bought means another 6 films will be made.
BTW If Harry Potter has a record opening ticket sales, I'd say it was a fix, as the film was being screened in every local cinema(apart from the arthouse cinemas who have some sense of pride) every half hour from 8:15 am until 9:30 PM on at least 6 or 7 screens.