Three Sneers and The Harry Potter Drinking Game

Rating: Null/10 (22 September 2003)

Most everybody has seen or heard about this film by now, so I will only add a few comments to the pile. As an adult viewer, there are four obstacles to enjoying this movie: pace, believability, believability part 2, and the Harry Potter Drinking Game.
The pace of the movie was fairly slow. For a movie this long (152 min.), that's typically because they didn't edit it down to a manageable length. (The other excuse, that the story demanded it, doesn't apply here.) We watch as Harry is conveniently abandoned by Hagrid at the train station with a ticket for platform 9-3/4. This signals the start of another little puzzle that Harry must solve in order for him to go on. Of course Harry, the bright lad he is, figures it out. Unfortunately, this sequence doesn't add to the story, and neither do many others.
There are too many unbelievable/convenient elements in the story. Hermione just happens to know the spell to fix Harry's glasses. Ron just happens to do well at chess in time to win the Wizard's Chess Puzzle. Harry just happens to have special abilities he inherited from his mother which are only revealed when he battles Professor Quirrell. Harry just happens to accidentally make the winning play during his first Quidditch game. This goes on throughout the movie, turning most minds into cabbage jelly.

The adults, as portrayed by the movie, are completely out of touch with the school and its students. Despite the faculty of Hogwarts having great experience with all kinds of tricks that budding wizards like to play, nobody says anything about Harry's very public cursed broom episode during the Quidditch game. As in many other episodes in the film, the adults either look down upon or ignore the students. Of note, this theme has been given wide treatment in many other teenage angst films, but without the benefit of being so unreal and heavy-handed.
Every time Harry is introduced to someone new, that person has to act surprised, intrigued, and in awe (it's in their contract). Harry's 'name recognition' scene was played approximately one thousand times too many. I quote from my still-burning memory cells: "Potter? Harry Potter? _THE_ Harry Potter?". By the middle of the film, I was cringing at the sight of any new character within shouting distance of Harry. Perhaps someone will revisit the Bob Newhart Show drinking game with the Harry Potter movies.
Overly long, contrivances galore, and the Harry Potter Drinking Game were the only major faults I could stand to learn about. Other than that, watch till ya' drop.