Harry Rotten and the Foliest Tome

Rating: 2/10 (12 November 2001)

I get up at approx. 7am every morning and travel by public transport to my relatively interesting job in PR. I have an option of routes either the District line to the East End and then South, or the Docklands railway through Canary Wharf. Whichever way I take, wherever the whim takes me one thing is guaranteed - someone will always be reading a 'Harry Potter' (or Louis De Bernieres, but don't get me started on that 'mandolin' film!). These aren't kids, mind you - but fully formed adults with (assumedly) adult sensibilities and understanding. People with entire libraries of educated, intelligent writing at their disposal.
Why, oh why, then are they being sucked in by this RUBBISH!
I must confess, the 'hype', and the good words of friends, led me to order all four books. Either luck, or fate, has intervened as it has been 10 weeks since and they still havn't arrived. Good job - for as soon as they do they're going straight back!
My reasoning? The basis that the film, as being deemed by the author (the perpetually miserable JK Rowling), is as close to the book as you can get. It must truly, truly suck as a piece of fiction, because, boy, does it suck as a movie?!
The acting from the relative newcomers puts me in mind of the Children's Film Foundation of the early 70's - stilted, unconvincing, poorly potrayed. They are badly served by a shoddy script of half sentances and pointless dialogue. The Adults - Maggie Smith, Richard Harris, Alan Rickman and Robbie Coltraine play Maggie Smith, Richard Harris and Alan Rickman and Robbie Coltraine. There have been lulled into this on the cheap and forced to act out this appalling ABC of filmaking: "First I was orphaned, and then I became a wizard, and then I went to school and then I learnt to fly and then I found a three headed dog, and then I found a dragon, and then I found a unicorn....", It just goes on and on. Crammed full of ideas that don't hold together, and ultimately mean nothing, there is little suspense or satisfying denouement.
The special effects are good.
This isn't even a film for kids, it's a film for kids that have read the book. I guess the film-makers are (literally) banking that the hype of the books will transfer to the screen. Let's face it, there's little else going for it.