Follow the Money with Warner Bros?

Rating: 8/10 (16 June 2004)

Watching HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban is like having the suits in Hollywood tell you a bedtime story. --They always bring it back to the bottom line where THEY live happily ever after. It's not the story. It's not the art. It's certainly not the fans... It's just the money, the whole money and nothing but the money. Harry Potter is the biggest cash cow in the history of entertainment in any medium, and Warner Bros. has a good grip.
It has only been a few years that the big studios have discovered that "value added" DVDs are the best thing for bottom lines since popcorn. This revelation has led to 3 (three!) separate releases of the Rings Trilogy (so far) -- each with successively more "value" treats: footage, making-of's, documentaries, voice-track commentaries, stills, etc.
The first 2 HP movies have so far only been sold as the theatrical release DVD. But we have seen the ad photos of the "value added" versions. They'll be here soon. And we've seen a new edited version of SS/PS on NBC once (but not in their re-broadcast.) This means it is worth more $ as a DVD than NBC could afford. It also means that by movie 3 (and probably 2) they shot at least 1 and probably 3 hours of narrative footage to be re-edited into a PLATINUM or TITANIUM edition sometime in 2006. It means that the story holes in the theatrical release will be filled in to be enjoyed in the comfort of our own homes. It means the unexplained character shifts will be revealed as more deliberate and thoughtful acting choices. It means we might see Paul Whitehouse after all..
And it means Goblet of Fire will be shot as a 5-6 hour movie, released as a 2:20 movie with plot gaps and missing characters. It means we will all buy the theatrical release on DVD; then we will buy the Extended Version DVD; then we will buy the I-VII set on 23 DVDs in an album with ruminations and interviews with long dead or retired Brit actors. It means that the movies we stand in line to see in the theaters will never be the whole movies, or the "real" movies -- and certainly not the best Hollywood can do. Warners will save that for the Diamond Anniversary Collection in 2050.
Did I enjoy PoA? The look was artful. The jack-in-a-box motif was arty and the stuff flying-monkey-nightmares are made of. The little bird was distracting. The kids are learning to act. The spectacle is spectacular and finally treats HP as something other than the mangey illegitimate cousin of the Lord of the Rings.
And the actual story has been clipped so tight that many of the reasons we love Rowling's stories have ended up in the ash can -- or more likely, in carefully noted files waiting to be re-edited into the movie for another release on DVD.
I don't mind Hollywood making money. I like it. It means more movies. More spectacle! More stories! Business really is a good thing. But in Hollywood, passion for profit is only as good as its passion for story-telling.
I also don't mind a movie short enough that we can all sit through it without too many bathroom breaks. Nobody wants to miss an important scene.... but we wouldn't have traded a minute of the 3-hours-is-not-enough Battle for HelmsDeep. And I don't look forward to to trading bathroom-comfort for the whole Goblet of Fire Tri-Wizard Tournament, the Christmas Ball, or the Quidditch World Cup.
Yet, somehow, we know that is what we can expect. Warners will spend more money on the next HP film than has ever been spent on a motion picture -- but when we go to the theater for its release, we will only see about half of what what intended to be the final film. The rest will require a second purchase -- and a third and fourth.
If this were McDonalds, we would be buying the bun first, then going back and paying 3 times as much for the meat -- three times that for the cheese and pickles -- and then we'd need to drive through and pay double again to get katsup and onions. Or we could wait until tomorrow and buy it all again -- frozen -- and pay them again to slap it in the microwave.
It sounds like a really good idea if all they're interested in is milking the cash cow for all they can get. But if they're out to make an honest dollar, to satisfy customers, to offer value for $, or to offer people something they can enjoy with a smile, then maybe they should reconsider. A great movie -- will get repeat customers. A great DVD of the full version of the movie with value-added treats will sell beyond expectation.