An honest review from a non-fan

Rating: Null/10 (3 June 2004)

I feel obligated to preface this review by saying I'm not a big Harry Potter fan. I haven't read any of the books, and this may surprise you, but I haven't seen either of the first two movies. So I'm asking all you Harry Potter marks not to cry too hard at the fact that this review won't be a total praise-fest. OK, now that I've gotten that out of the way, we may proceed.
For me, this is what I would consider mild entertainment. It's not a bad movie. In fact, I thought it was quite entertaining in parts. Case in point, the special effects are very good. I thought the Dementors were pretty cool, and I was especially impressed with the half-horse, half-eagle hippogriff. That thing looked surprisingly real. And there were some nice moments of humor as well - particularly when Harry made his Aunt Marge puff up and float away like a big balloon. But to be honest, after all the hype I was really hoping to be blown away, and I just wasn't. It's hard not to have high expectations when this is the typical conversation I have with a Harry Potter fan:
Harry Potter mark: Whoa, wait a minute, you mean you haven't seen either of the Harry Potter movies? What's your problem?
Johnny: I don't have a problem; I just don't have much interest in
Harry Potter.
Harry Potter mark: BUT THEY'RE GOOD MOVIES YOU JERK!
Johnny: Fine, give me $4 and I'll rent one of 'em.
Harry Potter mark: *shakes head and walks away*
I must admit, reactions such as the above led me to believe I must be missing out on the next Star Wars or something, but now that I've seen a Harry Potter movie I know I wasn't missing a life-altering event. A lot of adults love the Harry Potter movies, but for me this just had a little too much of a "kid's movie" feel to it. The story just didn't grab me.
Harry Potter is the type of movie I probably would've enjoyed a LOT more when I was young, and especially if I had read the books. I think my biggest hang-up is the characters. My type of fantasy movie is Star Wars. I like a tough guy hero (or anti-hero) like Han Solo, and I want a vicious, unmerciful bad guy like Darth Vader. Harry Potter, as a hero, just doesn't do it for me. Radcliffe doesn't do a bad job, but the fact that he looks like SNL's Rachel Dratch really doesn't pump me up to root for him. And Ronald the red-headed kid, man, his incessant whining and frowning annoyed me more than watching an episode of Oprah.
It sounds like I'm being pretty harsh, but I know the Harry Potter fans are rabidly loyal, and I just love poking fun at things the fanboys love so passionately. If you're a Harry Potter fan, then you'll love this movie. My brother liked it a lot and said he thought it was better than the Sorcerer's Stone (he hasn't seen the Chamber of Secrets yet), and most everybody in the theater enjoyed it as well. So don't take my fun-loving jabs too personally. Go see the movie and have a good time.
THE GIST
"Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" is sure to give fans of the series exactly what they want, especially in regard to the top-notch special effects. I'm not a Harry Potter fan, and this movie didn't do enough to make me a convert, but I still found it mildly entertaining if not mind-blowing. If you loved the previous two movies then you won't be disappointed.