A love story if I ever seen one!

Rating: Null/10 (13 March 2006)

I never thought it could get any worse than the last piece of Harry Potter crap The Prisoner of Azkaban , but damn was I wrong! First off, I have the book, but didn't read much of it (since it wasn't good and am not a fan of the Harry Potter books (I got it as a present and I was trying to be generous). So, I'm not the guy to give you those "book-to-movie" comparisons. Now, on with the damn review! The Goblet of Fire wasn't Harry Potter at all! Not that many creatures or magic is seen (which is a load of crap), and is way more of a love story! No, I'm kidding you! Goblet turned out being a fantasy love story at Hogwarts. Harry loses best friend, tries to get revenge, his crush Hermoine (and don't give me any crap that he doesn't like her) falls in love with another man and he is now depressed. Let alone, he's in a god damned Triwizard Tournament (which we don't see much of, just hear about it a lot and see some off-court punking). This ruined the whole damn movie! Sure, Prisoner was a big pile of flaming dog crap (you know, the kind you leave on people's porch) and left a stench for miles. But, at least that stayed to the Harry Potter tradition: The magic and the creatures. Goblet destroyed that by slapping in some sappy bullcrap that made me crap my pants worse than the time I had that "weird and unusual" dream about Joan Rivers *shudders*! I hated it! Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane, Ocean's Twelve ) was ruined here! He too had a love interest *breaks out in laughter*. Sorry, I just don't see him in a relationship. I can already imagine the date: "Hey, you wanna go to my house and I can cook up some "special" potion for you?" God, I just don't see it happening (though I just did). Anyway, like I said, Hagrid was ruined here. He gets a lovebird (which, like mentioned before, is laughable and disastrous). But, worse than that is his lack of screen time. What the hell? This guy is an icon in the Harry Potter franchise, and you just give him a few scenes and give him his pay and a big-ass bucket of "Popeye's" chicken. Damn! There was also a disturbing scene in which Harry is getting a bubble bath (wtf?) and that ghost chick that hides out in the bathroom , but I'm not getting into that because I'm already having nightmares about it. And I haven't even gone to bed yet! This movie was just a putrid mess! Harry Potter magic and creatures are replaced with sappy love story and Hagrid gets a crap taken on him by the producers! Not worth the almost three hours length.
0 out of 5 stars