The first of the dark ones

Rating: 6/10 (17 June 2019)

So far, in the wizarding world of Hogwarts, an evil wizard has tried to kill children, an escaped convict has snuck on campus undetected, three teachers have been fired from the same position, a giant snake attacked people, and the harmless school sport has resulted in serious injuries that couldn't instantly be fixed by magic and required an extended stay in the hospital. Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire came out in theaters. Folks, if you thought the first three films were as dark as you'd like a children's movie to be, turn back now. The fourth story is very dark, and the series only gets darker from here on out.
Those of you who have decided to brave the fourth Harry Potter movie will be treated to a brand new event: the Tri-Wizard Tournament. In this new plot point never mentioned in the previous books or movies, two other wizarding schools from France and Russia travel to Hogwarts to compete in an enormously dangerous series of contests with hopes of taking a trophy back home. Why would anyone do that? Brave, and arguably stupid, contestants are supposed to write their names down on a piece of paper, stick it in the titular goblet, and then get selected by the goblet to be their school's one and only representative. France chooses Clémence Poésy, Russia chooses Stanislav Yanevski, and Hogwarts chooses a pre-Twilight, very handsome Robert Pattison. Of course, since this is a Harry Potter movie, the goblet spews out a fourth name and orders that Harry become a fourth contestant, even though he was too young to be allowed to put his name in. Headmaster Michael Gambon declares that they have to follow the rules and let Harry risk his life; yes, yes, the plot itself makes no sense, but if you're sitting down to watch it, you'll just have to accept that.
So, as Harry prepares for the contest, his fellow fourteen-year-old students all discover their hormones. The school also hosts a ball during the tournament, and as Maggie Smith brings out a record player and teaches her students how to waltz-yes, yes, this makes no sense-all the young boys and girls giggle and blush and try their very awkward hands at flirting. The moment everyone's been waiting for finally arrives, and Emma Watson gives herself a makeover. No one knew at the time she was cast four years earlier that she'd grow up to be a knock-out, but thankfully, when she makes her grand entrance, no one has to pretend to drop his jaw.
The new teacher this year is Brendan Gleeson, and while his very creepy appearance is unsettling, it's not nearly as unsettling as the direction the plot takes. You can tell from the nearly constant fog and dark color scheme of the film that it's going to be heavy, and even with the comic relief thrown in about the dance, it's not an uplifting movie. At the beginning, Harry attends a Quidditch game with the lovable Weasley family, but the fun is quickly cut short by a host of bad guys. The steadfast friendship between Ron and Harry gets interrupted by jealousy, and both boys spend the entire movie in dire need of a haircut. A harmless visit to Hagrid's hut winds up being a site-seeing tour of dangerous dragons, and opening what looks like a Fabergé egg results in an ear-splitting noise. Everything in this movie is far darker than it first appears to be, from the littlest details to the grand contest itself.
To keep you occupied during the very long movie that's sorely missing John Williams's iconic music, you'll still see all the old standbys: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton, Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman, Robbie Coltrane, Julie Walters, Jason Isaacs, Mark Williams, Warwick Davis, the new regular Michael Gambon, and a repeat appearance by Shirley Henderson. A few new faces make an appearance in this movie, Katie Leung as Harry's love interest Cho Chang, Gary Oldman, David Tennant, Timothy Spall, Miranda Richardson, and Ralph Fiennes.
One of the great things about the Harry Potter movies was that an entire generation of kids got to grow up at the same time the actors did, and when upsetting things happened, they felt better prepared to handle watching it since the actors were watching the same things. A good rule of thumb is if you're watching these movies with kids who are younger than the actors, either make them wait a year or two or give them a warning that something bad or scary is going to happen.
Kiddy Warning: Obviously, you have control over your own children. However, due to scary scenes involving children, I'd wait until my kids were pre-teens before letting them watch it.