A poor adaptation at best

Rating: 5/10 (13 August 2008)

Prisoner of Azkaban, the previous film, had me quite excited for this movie, not least because it has one of the most significant events in the entire septet of novels. However, as I sat down in the theater and the events of the movie transpired, I closed my eyes for a few seconds following the initial scene at the Riddle Mansion. All of a sudden the film is at the Quidditch World Cup.... what? This is the main shortfall of the film - it is rushed, relies far too much on tacky transition devices, and feels overall like a chick flick, not at all congruent with the darkness of the third film. The film rushes from Harry's dream to the Quidditch World Cup, completely bypassing the Dursleys.... okay that much I suppose I can understand, it's a slightly tedious and unnecessary event... but then the Quidditch World cup is shown within the span of two minutes. What the hell's the point of even introducing it then? All of a sudden the entire camp of wizards is obliterated by people looking like the KKK (uh, those are the Death Eaters, I suppose?) and are only alluded to by a barely mumbled line from Arthur Weasley... the whole subplot of the elf Winky is left completely out, thereby basically ruining the whole point of the twist later on. Oh, not to mention, the Dark Mark is fired up in the air when nobody's around on the camp grounds. Way to forget the bloody point of the Mark, Kloves.
At this point my heart sank. I knew the movie was going to be extremely dismal. I watched as the kids are suddenly at Hogwarts and they introduce Mad-Eye Moody, the Triwizard Tournament (by a poorly acted Dumbledore by Gambon) and then it becomes disconnected and patchy. Hell I can't even remember most of the movie now - only that at some point they show Sirius's face in the fire, Harry gets accepted as a competitor (with Dumbledore throwing him against the trophy case?... What?) and then the first task.
This is where the movie got incredibly boring and stupid as for half an hour I am treated to tween agonizing about who Harry should go out with. Yes, we know what happens, we don't need the terrible music of whoever the hell composed it (it sounds like a bleeding cartoon) to make it any more obvious. Yay, half an hour of watching kids preen and dance to bad alternative rock. Can we PLEASE get on with the story?
Blissfully, it ends and tranistions almost immediately, and we're stuck with Harry trying to figure out what to do for the next task, and voilà, they decide to completely eliminate Dobby's role. The movie slugs on and then we see a rather comically proportioned Pensieve scene with Dumbledore being the jerk headmaster (paraphrased: "It's none of your business!") instead of trusting Harry like he does throughout the novels.
I was shaking my head in disbelief at this point. Then, the third task comes up, and I perk up for a second. Maybe, just MAYBE this movie can redeem itself through the graveyard scene.
My hopes are dashed. The scene is rushed, looks again cartoonish instead of refined and stylized, and the Death Eaters look once again like the Ku Klux Klan. Over in five minutes, what should have been the pivotal scene of the film.
I left the movie slightly annoyed and very bored. The only high point was the good acting on the part of Ralph Fiennes, who gave his character a bit of frightening quality. That was moderately undercut by his actions being annoying and comical.
Steve Kloves should never have been appointed to make this travesty of a film. I hope that at some point in the far future someone decides to "re-imagine" these films and decide that this one was as campy and boring as the Joel Schumacher Batman films.
Frankly I don't care that they took out a lot of scenes; it's the fact that they took out a lot of the scenes that MATTERED and saturated the film with fan pleasing and enough info to make tween girls and fanatic "shippers" squeal every time they watch the scene between Harry and Cho.
Thank god this isn't in movie theaters anymore, otherwise I'd say, don't waste your money on it. 5/10