One of the most boring films I have seen this year!

Rating: 3/10 (18 November 2005)

I know I'm going to make loads of enemies by saying this but I just don't see why everyone is going nuts over this film. There are billions of biased Harry Potter lunatics out there who would give this film 10/10 before even seeing it, even if the director did nothing but wipe his ass on the celluloid. That isn't the case, but it's still one of the most boring films I've had to sit through in a long time.
The books do not translate well to film. I know it's an old cliché that people always say about books into movies but it really does appropriately describe the world of Harry Potter. The books may be money-spinners but JK Rowling's universe is so dense and involving one can become immersed rather easily, which is one of the franchises major selling points. The films were put into pre-production before Warner fully understood how long or drawn-out Rowling stories would be. As a result they are forced to increasingly cut down on what they put up on screen. I found Prisoner of Azkaban to be anorexic compared to it's literary counterpart. Goblet of Fire goes even further and strips it right down to the bone.
Director Mike Newell had the option of releasing the film in 2 separate volumes (ala Kill Bill) but his overconfidence got the better of him and he reckoned he could do a 500+ page book in a 157-minute film (with 12 of those minutes being credits). It doesn't work, I don't care what anyone says, the story is badly damaged by being whittled down to almost nothing. I'm not complaining at the lack of the Dursley's, I know they don't make or break the film. But important sub-plots and important characters are barely even featured.
Harry's co-competitors in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Viktor Krum and Fleur Delacour, are interesting and developed in the book. In this movie they are so absent you'd think they'd been completely cut out. I think I heard Krum speak once. And the British Tabloid press made a huge fuss (as they do with everything) over a girl from Fife being cast as Harry's would-be girlfriend Cho Chang. But she's in it for an absolute maximum of 2 minutes and has about 3 lines of dialogue! And what of this nonsense that Ron and Hermione are in love with each other? They have a single conversation in 157 minutes with no longing glances or butterflies in stomach or anything! Being jealous at each other dancing partners simply isn't enough. Also, many important plot developments that the film doesn't have time to linger on are given a single line of explanation and quickly forgotten as things move from A to B to C. For anyone who hasn't read the book this could be very disorientating and you'll probably get lost at some point.
Keen to distract us from this Warner have chucked in a massive SFX budget in hope that lots of CGI will make us think the film really is amazing when it just plain ain't. How superficial can you get? I really don't think the kids will mind though. And the zombie parents dragged along with them won't care either. Those of us who are serious about films (people who go nuts over Harry Potter not included) will notice how plebeian the franchise has become.
Mike Newell does chuck in a couple (only a couple) of nice shots but has this amateur theory that the darker the film looks the more sinister it will become. What nonsense! Much of this film is so poorly lit you'll struggle to see what is happening on screen. And the daytime scenes are all shot with an ugly green haze to make things look enchanting or spooky or something. It makes the film look stupid.
Order of the Pheonix is up next. And that book was very, very long. How on earth they will fit that in a movie I don't know. Warner have seriously bitten off more than they can chew with this franchise. In the hands of a skilled director who is familiar with action, fantasy and even a touch of horror this could have been better. The director of Mona Lisa Smile and Four Weddings and Funeral is a totally inappropriate choice. For some reason John Williams has jumped ship and left scoring to duties to Patrick Doyle. But you'll hardly notice the difference. Doyle retains the Harry Potter theme and sticks to the loud, bombastic sound Williams used for action scenes in the previous films.
I'm not a Harry Potter hater, no matter how negative my opinion sounds. But trying to talk sense into someone who loves these films no matter what is like trying to convince a Christian Fundamentalist that God doesn't exist. A rather extreme simile, but alarmingly appropriate.