Pathetic, loathsome, evil cockroach of an adaptation

Rating: 1/10 (1 March 2006)

I absolutely HATED this movie. As a movie that is supposed to not have anything to do with the great book that is attached to it, it is entertaining, but because it carries the "Harry Potter" emblem to it, I will scrutinize it to the very last detail that bothered me.
First of all, Columbus did the world's WORST job. I don't understand how having a fool-proof, action-packed book could've turned out this crap.
The disappointment begins with the Quidditch World Cup. What is the point of building all of that up if you're not going to at least show us the Wronsky Feint? Or explain the veela? The issue of Barty Crouch, Jr. isn't even vaguely touched upon, which means that Winky isn't at all discussed!
In terms of the tournament itself, BEAUXBATONS ACADEMY ISN'T AN ALL-GIRLS SCHOOL!!!!!!!! (Durmstrang isn't an all-boys wanna-be military academy, either!) The women in the movie are completely objectified. The Beauxbatons' entrance into the Great Hall? Migod, you'd think Maxime was bringing all of her girls up to be easy French sluts! And naturally, Fleur's background (part veela) and silvery BRIGHT hair are completely overlooked. I'm upset at the non-mention of her veela background because without it, there's no explanation that what is seen, i.e., them going "Ahhhhhhh" is just in the entranced boys' minds. Anyway, read up on veela!
Was it lack of imagination that prompted the producers to TAKE THE DRAGON OUT OF THE ARENA AND HUNT HARRY DOWN LIKE A DOG? Honestly, I think keeping the first task within its original boundaries was a lot more effective. PATHETIC that they would let the Dragon die when in the book, they were adamant about protecting its eggs. Like Charlie would've let the Horntail get away like that! Or Dumbledore!
Dumbledore! Michael Gambon as Dumbledore was the most awkward and pathetic and unwelcome change in the installments. Long rest Mr. Richard Harris, who so well captured Dumbledore... Gambon should've at least the read the books. He was pathetic in that role, and it angered me to see Dumbledore so out of character.
Speaking of characters out of 'sync with their book counterparts, Hermione was intolerable in this movie! I don't think at all it was the actor's fault, but rather an incompetent playwright who didn't bother to fully grasp Hermione. Maybe he thought "o no she's a teenager, I should write her like one!" which is VERY un-Hermione-ish!!
Lastly, the final task. "O NO THE HEDGES ARE COMING AT ME, THE HEDGES ARE COMING AT ME!!!" What the hell was that??? No skill needed whatsoever! Where was the sphinx, the boggarts, and all of the other TRUE challenges? Why the hell would a witch/wizard be afraid of MOVING HEDGES??? Why the hell would that change a person? Gaaaah, the bull they try to make us swallow, the tripe!
In sum: read the book.