Cinematic Souls, Borrowed Beings

Rating: Null/10 (11 June 2004)

Interesting paradox. I admire British filmmakers (Scott, Watkin, Unsworth, Biddle), but when mixed with incompetent American supervisors--like here--we get a mess.
Something like a spoiler warning...
The dominant problem from the first movie is two artless Americans--Columbus and Kloves. The translation from the books is so literal that no cinematic soul is created. Compare this to Jackson's 'Lord' series to see where someone tries creating a cinematic soul (yet plagues it with other problems) and then 'Catch-22.' There a completely separate soul is created, but it is rejected because it doesn't have every nuance of the book. Why do we keep cutting Jackson slack for work that plagiarize other works, cinematically speaking?
As with the 'Alien' series, we have a formula where different elements are highlighted. Thankfully, Cuaron changed our emphasis from literal to cinematic. Since this is totally reliant on the script, our actors aren't important. Pity since this was Harris' swan song.
The second problem rests in Columbus' handling of the material. He is constantly warring between being two people: Robert Altman and Steven Spielberg. Granted, I don't credit Altman with being more than an insufferable loudmouth, but he is at least more stimulating than thoughtless Columbus.
--The whole "Class War" subplot is totally juvenile, as is the Celebrity/Society stance. Altman had already covered this ground without being so ham-handed in 'Gosford'. Columbus does it in the whole "smack-me-upside-the-head" fashion from 'Mockingbird.'
--Columbus becomes Spielberg when it comes to his images. He repeatedly steals from 'E.T.', 'Gremlins', 'Back to the Future', 'Jurassic Park', and 'Indiana Jones'. Williams caught on to this "me-too"-ism, so he recycles his score from 'Last Crusade.' Even the color scheme is tasteless.
Comments that this is "darker" are hilarious. Darkness doesn't come by throwing in moody music, blood, bigger monsters, or diabolical plans. If the ending is somber and the hero is humbled, that is far darker than a thousand monsters. That's the difference between filmic stimulation and simple amazement. Columbus just takes the images that amazed us before and turns them into spiders and snakes, he obviously didn't learn from 'Empire Strikes Back.'
Speaking of which, something to be said for the effects. This is so sloppy and artificial that any child can see through it. We go from Draco to Gollum with Dobby and Jar Jar thrown in the mix. Not a good track record for CGI characters. Of course, they follow the Disney character design philosophy--another area where Disney stunted hurt our imaginations.

However, all is not lost. We get some nice Dutch-tilted wall shots reminiscent of '12 Monkeys' (also Pratt). My dream for the series? Make Attenborough the new Dumbledore, hand directing reigns to Branagh, have Goldsmith do the score, and get Alex Thomson as photographer. If anything else, get David Lynch.
Final Analysis = = Cinematic Dud