Bloated and Americanised adaptation

Rating: 4/10 (13 July 2014)

Director Chris Columbus, responsible for popular cuddly, family-friendly movies such as Home Alone (1990) and Mrs. Doubtfire (1993), here makes his second, and thankfully last, entry into the Harry Potter franchise. The series needed to go way darker after Chamber of Secrets, and did, and this film marked the ending of the bright, and non-threatening, adventures for Harry and co. It's also the last time Potter the film so painstakingly stuck to Harry the book, and here everything that should have been cut in fact remains. Due to this, and the exhausting running time, Chamber of Secrets is the worst of all 8 films.
Still stuck with his horrible adoptive parents (Richard Griffiths and Fiona Shaw) for the summer while he awaits another year at his beloved Hogwarts, Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) is visited by house-elf Dobby (voiced by Toby Jones), who warns him that he must not return to the school of wizardry this year. He finds his efforts to catch the Hogwarts Express scuppered, and instead must travel by flying car with his daft friend Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint). When he does arrive, students begin to turn up petrified (literally), with whispers of the mythical Chamber of Secrets being re-opened and unleashing a terrifying monster into the school.
While the first film needed to spend time on developing the world that J.K. Rowling so beautifully imagined and the colourful characters who inhabit it, Chamber of Secrets has no such baggage. Yet Columbus, along with screenwriter Steve Kloves, have done little other than simply film the images millions of fans already have imprinted in their mind. We seem to slog through every second of Harry's second year at Hogwarts, with little thought having been given to the humour and charm that seemed to spatter every paragraph in the engrossing novels.
Instead, we get special-effects aplenty, with long periods dedicated to a flying car with a mind of it's own, some hungry spiders in the forest, and a Quidditch match that does little that the first film didn't do already. Rowling's books are so recognisably British, with old eccentrics who all seem to have Monty Python-silly senses of humour, and that feeling of the characters all sitting near a comforting roaring fire. Even though Columbus have upheld Rowling's demand for an all- British cast, everything in the film seems fat and Americanised, all CGI and no heart, so far removed from Britain that I almost expected Steve Martin or Robin Williams to walk in.
There are a few saving graces, namely the stellar cast of adults, all returning from the first film. It also introduces Kenneth Branagh as celebrity wizard and new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Gilderoy Lockhart, and Jason Isaacs as the father of Harry's arch-nemesis Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton). They chew on their scenes, helping save the still- struggling Radcliffe and Emma Watson (who would get better as the films progressed). It also marked the sad passing of Richard Harris, here appearing for the final time as Dumbeldore, before being replaced by Michael Gambon in the role. But a few decent performances cannot save this bloated, sickly film from feeling stretched and an hour too long.
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