An amateurish attempt by some of the veterans of Bollywood

Rating: 1/10 (24 October 2014)

One of the most amateurishly made big budget movies from Bollywood. The film makers spent close to an hour or so on introducing various characters and building the story up. Even a sleek 90-120 minutes film would manage to have a few holes so imagine devoting an hour to this introduction and story build up exercise would have how many holes. Let's examine the first hour:
a) SRK is wrestling. May be Farah was inspired by how Sajid introduced Ajay Devgan in Himmatwala. SRK has been paid to lose the fight, however (surprise surprise) he wins the fight. Not to mention that the entire fight sequence induces a big yawn and it has nothing that you haven't seen before. In this sequence SRK looked like one of the martial arts teachers in old Jackie Chan films. Note the film has just started.
b) Sood is a bomb expert who now provides services to films. As you would expect, he messes up a shot and gets fired in another "yawn" inducing sequence. Sood has problems in listening to people just 2-3 feet away, however he can listen to SRK clearly even when SRK is several feet away. Some would call it cinematic convenience. You feel for Sood here as he is one of the actors who looks to give his best in the films he works in.
c) Boman speaks in a weird version of Parsi accent. He plays a 50 years old whose mother reminds him to keep clean and visit the washroom before going to bed. How many of us would find such sequences interesting? May be the 12 years old and younger crowd. Appears as if Boman played this role in this way to seek vendetta on the film makers. But what about the audience, Boman?
d) A hacker who has tons of Facebook friends but no real friends. In his intro, he hacks the DJ system to vent his frustrations and is thrown out of the club. And this paves way to another fight sequence with scenes that are supposed to make you laugh but instead forces your head to shake in disagreement at the poor attempt. Another great piece of entertainment?
e) In the interest of brevity, I am skipping the other intros.
And then there is babble about how to steal the diamonds to take revenge. The most interesting part in the first hour was when the classic "Mera Pyar Shalimar" song was played in the background. That took me back to some happy memories about some of the classic songs from that film including "Hum Bewafa", "1-2-Cha-Cha-Cha", etc. Re- visiting "Shalimar" would have been a better idea. Is there a point in describing the rest of the film?
There are better ways to rehash old Hollywood and Bollywood movies. Even the TV series which have much less budget devoted to them appear to be more intelligently and professionally made. For most parts, one would wonder what drove these people to make such a film.
Audience ke chakke chudade yeh Happy New Year wale! Farah and SRK probably believe that people like the jokes they make at various award shows. Award shows have songs and dances too. Let's mix those and people are going to jump to see the film like how hungry dolphins would jump out of water to grab food!
May be a film about revenge on Red Chilies Entertainment, along with Team Farah and Sajid, would have been a better idea. SRK hasn't had a truly magnificent film after 2007. He should sincerely thank his fans for keeping his boat floating since then.
In the recent past, Bollywood film lovers have flocked in to cinemas based on star appeal. And the result has been a constant bombardment of such films in the name of "paise vasool" entertainment. Whether people like the film or not, the money spent on tickets will count towards its revenues. The film-makers will happily claim an INR 100+ crores film. And the cycle continues. We have only ourselves to blame for encouraging such attempts and the stagnation of creativity and innovation in Bollywood.
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PS A rough guide to rating a film objectively:
1 to 2 stars: Only one-third or less of the film is watchable. You walk out or feel like walking out of the cinema hall. No point in spending money on the ticket.
3 to 4 stars: The film is barely watchable. You probably stayed in the movie hall to see how badly it is made or because the ticket is already a sunk cost. No point in spending money on the ticket.
5 to 6 stars: At least two thirds of the film is watchable. You can spend money on the ticket if you have nothing better to do or like films of the particular genre.
7 to 8 stars: Most of the film or the overall package is good. You can spend money on the ticket. The film could offer repeat value of many too.
9 to 10 stars: For any of the following criteria – The film a) is an all-time classic; b) brings something new to the table; c) is Oscar material; d) is a game changer, e) etc.
For those who have rated this film 9 or 10 – which criteria mentioned above does it meet?