The making of HNY

Rating: 1/10 (29 January 2020)

Late 2013... SRK watches Dhoom 3 and is terrified by the fact that Aamir is treading into his territory of multicrore absurdity and that too in better style.
SRK's thought bubble "I cannot allow this. Something has to be done...soon".
Calls Farah "We have to make a film that has all the elements of this and more. And it has to happen ASAP. The next year has to end happier"
Farah: "OK"
Farah was in the loo. Immediately pulls out a piece of tissue paper and scribbles out the key elements of D3:
Father commits suicide because of the villain.
Son(s) swear revenge.
Son robs the villain and ruins him. Absurd heist.
Kamli
Aamir
Jackie
Abhishek& Uday
Circus
Farah's thought bubble: "OK now, here's what I can do":
Father commits suicide because of the villain.(I'll copy this)
Son swears revenge(I'll copy this)
Son robs the villain and ruins him.Absurd heist.(I'll copy this. And I can make the heist more absurd... he ha ha ha)
Kamli (Kat's too busy. No worries. We'll put Deepika and put a song that has "Kamli" in it... And I'll throw in the "malang" swinging on sarees bit into the same song. 2 D3 songs in one...beat that.)
Aamir (Now that's impossible. SRK has to have a job)
Jackie (He can't be the father again. So lets make him the villain)
Abhishek& Uday (I'll make a new hybrid character. More irrelevant and stupid than both of these combined. Abhi fits the role best...yess I'm a genius!)
Circus (Can't copy it as is... Lets make it a reality show instead... a dance competition... they are all like circus anyway)
Lets add some Kapil's comedy night stuff, some epilepsy jokes, some vomit jokes, some cheap female body part jokes, some petty nationalism, Modi(he's the flavor of the season) and some more in it to cater to SRK's "and more" requirement.
And voila... the story is ready! Oh, let the name be Happy new year. SRK will like the symbolism.
Add the marketing muscle and barge into all the high TRP TV shows before the 1st weekend so that many see it before the word gets out.
And release it in as many theaters as possible to milk the max out of the hapless public before they realise what they gotten themselves into. He ha ha.
Flush.
"Hello Shahrukh. Here's the plan...."