Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Review

Rating: 5/10 (21 October 2013)

I was looking forward to watching this... but left in disappointment.
This movie starts off with a 5 (or so) minute real-life portrayal of how Hansel & Gretel will look. However in the scene where we meet the witch in the ginger-bread house left me confused. I was expecting to see an old lady with wrinkly skin... whereas the Witch they showed us looked like a demon summoned straight from the deepest fiery pits of hell!
After that, we then fast-forward to the future, where they are both grown up and are professional Witch Hunters.
To start off with, Hansel has to be at least 15 years older than his sister, and they're only meant to be a few years apart (given they were both young children when they were abandoned).
Secondly, H&G is a German story, yet Hansel speaks with a pure American accent. English actress Gemma Arterton, who plays the role of Gretel, and the American accent she uses can easily be picked up as fake, and in the scenes where she's screaming, you can hear her natural English accent come out.
I found a lot of the time, the movie was repeating itself;
*They hunt witches *They engage in a fight *They get separated *The evil witch escapes
Also, considering it's set in the 1800s, Hansel has what appears to be a futuristic shotgun (not only one that wasn't invented then, but one that has not yet been invented today), and Gretel has a crossbow that fires darts as fast as a machine gun fires bullets. Let's not forget that in more than one scene, we see what appears to be a hand-held taser... in the 1800s mind you! Also in one of the final fight scenes, we see the 'good witch' fire what appears to be a mounted heavy machine gun that was used in WW2.
Another scene shows a witch locked up in a jail cell when another witch comes to free her, and can set fire to the building she's captive in by a simple motion of her hand. I mean... why doesn't the Witch locked up just do something to bust herself out?
Better yet, these witches don't need brooms, they can simply jump on old stick and ride away to safety.
And all along... a... well I don't know what the creature was, perhaps a cross between a troll and an ogre, who was on the witches team, turns out to be the biggest game changer of the movie by saving Gretel not once, but twice, from her demise... and let's not forget the virgin boy who tags along with them.
Entertaining at times but I can't recall seeing a movie with so many flaws.
5/10.