All Aboard the Stupid Train

Rating: 3/10 (18 May 2016)

The Brothers Grimm are rolling - over and over and over and over again - because of this awful waste of time and money of a movie. Think of this movie as a train ride, with some big name actors drawn to board the train to Stupidville. Let's get on the train with them and see the sights along the way -- here they are: Anachronisms in scripted dialogue and props! A variety of ways to dismember a human body! Bodies, and lots of them, being tossed into and through hard solid objects! Hard objects, and lots of them, shattering, splitting, disintegrating, and generally falling apart when human bodies get thrown through them! Ridiculous make-up effects! Fights! And all of these sights so repetitively done that they stop being interesting as redundant scenery on your train ride to Stupidville. Oh, but you'd still better watch because you'll be rewarded by getting to see a big rubber troll! It would be really great to get to Smartville, even Funville, but this train runs only one way to, and stops only at Stupidville.