B-Movie and proud - An absurd idea played straight enough to just about work as action horror

Rating: 7/10 (27 February 2013)

Delayed for a year to cash in on the "Renner" effect, this movie is finally here (in the UK anyway, later than a lot of countries but that's often the case)
It's hard to know what one can expect of a film like this. Another in the ever growing "modern spin on the fairy tale" cycle, this film evades the usual updated psycho-sexual variations of the story that have existed for a long time to go for a simple "what if?" future where the siblings become a sort of Van Helsing style professional witch killers, bringing them in on a case that becomes a "countdown to doom" scenario as the witches prepare for a once in a generation ceremony that will make them immune to fire (rather like Vampires seeking immunity from sunlight situation) During this case they will also (A) Discover things about themselves and their own past (B) Discover that not all witches are evil, some fight for good (C) Have to confront their own prejudices in light of B (D) Face old nemesis supreme head witch Muriel, connected to their past tragedy (E) Befriend a misunderstood Ogre (F) Patiently tolerate an obsessed fan boy (G) Save some kids marked for death at Muriel's ceremony. Much violence and gore will follow. Anachronistic weapons will be fired, colourful witches will be slaughtered in mass, and warm, lovable, gay spirited people with "dead meat" written on their foreheads will naturally die to raise our revenge driven bloodlust as our heroes deal violent justice to the unholy.
Refreshingly, the film doesn't pussy out for a neutered PG13 family friendly rating (a terrible cinema sin that film companies are increasingly going against) but instead heads for "Evil Dead" territory, with over the top gore, absurdly violent deaths, nudity and swearing, all in 3D, which is quite well used here, with depth between objects and speed/space during fast action scenes thoroughly planned and set up.
Despite the high budget, this is unashamedly a B-movie in Corman and Troma traditions, and never aims to be more than dumb fun, despite various stabs at genuine emotion and pathos throughout. The film's famed production history attests to its schizophrenic nature. Born as an out and out Gothic comedy from the Ferell-Mackay stable, it apparently pulled up when the similar "Your Highness" tanked (understandable given that it was a decently made movie torpedoed by a scattershot improv style that didn't suit it) and was retooled as an "Evil Dead" style comedy horror under the direction of Norwegian pulper Tommy Wirkola. As a result, the films tone and approach veer violently from out and out absurdist comedy to serious supernatural horror drama. One moment it's Mel Brooks, the next it's "Blade" or "Van Helsing", and the seams are quite visible. Kudos to Wirkola and team for playing such an absurd idea straight, giving us an entertaining Saturday night movie rather than a DOA would be comedy, and since its only raison d'etre is some bloody popcorn fun then it succeeds.
Cast wise it features good actors slumming it. Gemma Arterton is back with an American accent (I guess it was either Renner doing British or her doing AmericanShe must have had the better accent) playing her usual ballsy tough chick thing, though this time using actual weapons and violence. Jeremy Renner, not yet a new action star when this rolled, seems rather bored by the whole thing, and his character is highly unlikeable and unsympathetic (I get he's meant to be, but he went FULL asshole here!). Villain duties are pulled by the great Famke Janssen, who was upfront about just doing it to pay off her debts, but she still delivers the goods here. Her Muriel is like X-Men 3's Phoenix but without the conflict and inner turmoil. She's bad, she's ultra-powerful and she's having fun, though the lovely Famke is just her Human disguise, with nasty powder blue zombie being her natural look. Peter Stormare is back again with another in his gallery of over the top villains as the town sheriff who fears Hansel and Gretel more than he does the witches, and gets an extremely unpleasant end. Finnish beauty Pihla Viitala does well as the very red headed good witch Mina (she even colour coordinates her outfits to match her red hair) who becomes a love interest to Hansel and the one who makes him face his prejudices, and her character earns our care as the story progresses.
The special effects are also very good, especially the Witches make up and the animatronic Ogre Edward, which like "Your Highness" are mostly practical and physical (Edward seems to come from the same designer who made "YH"s beautiful animatronic Minotaur) Blood and gore is done via CGI, which makes even lashings of red seem silly and inoffensive. One day horror producers will go back to jam and corn syrup and butcher's offal for real hurl stomach churning vileness, but not here alas.
The film has been a big success in America, and our preview screening was packed, so I guess the gamble paid off. Worth watching if you want to see an adult cartoon in the "Blade" mould (though nowhere near as good) that'll add nothing to your life but might give you 90 minutes occasional fun.