Hermione never had it so bad . . .

Rating: 7/10 (27 January 2013)

. . . and by that I mean that when I was growing up my favorite VHS tape was a ratty ol copy of ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN. So presumably all witches go to Hogwarts, but Mina dident seem to know the first thing about the "executio" spell (or whatever that one was called that killed the other student, such as Harry's first girlfriend's older dude crush). I mean, Mina apparently spends all her time traipsing around the woods going "la-dee-da-dee da" and crashing in the basement of Gretel's old place at dusk (when it is time for the Slytherin witches to ride their brooms over the forest, looking for prey). So when she somehow falls into the hands of Augsburg's witch savant sheriff (who even can sniff out the white witches), and he asks her if she wants the original crust or extra crispy, she's not even bold enough to ask for a side of mac and cheese?! Paying tuition at the half-blood rate, her dad could have demanded a refund for this lack of hoo-hah on her part (had he been around by then). At least Muriel seemed to have done her homework in Snape's class, as she has the asbestos-skin formulation down pat. However, if you think Joy Killer Rawling was hard on us muggles, stay away from HANSEL & GRETEL!!!