Brilliant "Where Are They Now" of Fairy Tale Characters

Rating: 8/10 (2 March 2013)

There's a recent trend in Hollywood of films that have to do with hunters and slayers, starting with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter coming out last summer and Jack the Giant Slayer coming out on March 1st. The current addition to this "killing mythological characters" craze comes in the form of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.
I wanted to see this because Jeremy Renner, who plays Hansel, is a great actor, and I thought it was a cool idea to have a "where are they now" of fairy tale characters. I also wanted to see it because I enjoyed Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. They both have over-the-top violence, but Hansel and Gretel makes Abe Lincoln look like one of those lame PG-13 horror remakes that have come out in recent years. The gore is gratuitous and the action is aplenty. In fact, some pussies in the audience were so squeamish that they had to look away during some parts.
The film opens with a brief retelling of the classic story, with Hansel and Gretel's father leaving them in the woods, and subsequently they are lured into the witch's candy house, where they shove her into an oven and ultimately burn her alive. Fast forward 15 years later (although it looks more like 25 in the case of 40-year-old Renner), and we find the sibling duo living the life of hunters who slaughter witches and helping rescue children whom the witches abducted. Gretel is played by the gorgeous Gemma Arterton, who reminds me of Jennifer Garner, except even hotter.
The witches were very frightening. Children who have parents dumb enough to bring them to see this will be freaked out by the witches, not to mention scarred by the blood and guts. I liked how, aside from the traditional witch in the opening sequence, the rest of the witches were unique-looking, such as one with spiky hair that looked like horns. The towering and beautiful Famke Janssen is perfectly cast as the head witch, Muriel. Having played villains before in films such as Goldeneye, The Faculty, and parts of the X-Men franchise, she exudes the right amount of evil and sexiness.
I also loved the contradiction between the modern-day guns and bows and arrows, and fighting sequences, taking place in a setting of 300 years ago. It was even more bizarre hearing fairy tale characters say modern-day swear words. Look out for some witty one liners from Renner.
Both Abe Lincoln and Hansel and Gretel involve a mash up of genres. They differ in that the serious tone and more subtle humor found in Abe Lincoln is appropriate for a history/horror film, while more straightforward comedy of Hansel and Gretel suits a fairy tale/horror film. As I previously mentioned in that movie's review, Abe Lincoln would not work as a comedy.
As was the case with Abraham Lincoln, Hansel and Gretel received scathing reviews from critics who were expecting it to be something it's not, and what it is, is a B-movie fantasy/action flick whose job is to be bloody ridiculous. They refuse to give it credit for succeeding at what it set out to do. They also don't get the sense of humor. For example, Hansel is a diabetic as a result of eating the candy house as a child, and he has to give himself an insulin injection, centuries before it even existed in real life. Anyone who can't see the humor in that seriously needs to get a life.
Some reviewers questioned why a respected actor like Renner would take on a role like this. Sure, he's a two-time Oscar nominee, but there's nothing wrong with him doing a fun film every now and then. His career is currently much more on track than many Oscar winners. Anyone remember Cuba Gooding, Jr.? Exactly. Plus, this movie was originally supposed to come out last March, but the studio pushed back the release date in order to allow time for Renner to film a couple of more blockbusters while he rose to become an A-list star. This was a wise decision, because Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters debuted at number one at the domestic box office, and it's been making a boatload of money around the world. So forget the haters.