My Father Said It Best: "An Hour and Forty Minutes I'll Never Get Back."

Rating: 5/10 (15 February 2016)

I Can't say I hated this movie, but I can say that anything that could've told a cohesive narrative was incredibly neglected. This was such a dull, unfocused mess of a film. It's a film that's advertised as a comedy, mystery romp with lots of stuff happening. And while stuff does happen, it's not interesting enough to be called a romp. Instead of it being a plot driven laugh-fest, it's more like a series of vignettes that are loosely tied to a movie star's kidnapping by communists. You'd think the movie would be about getting him back, well it is. kinda. Except it's buried underneath one dimensional sleuthing, searching for God, uninteresting as well as unfunny detours from the plot.
I mean dang, fir as many stories as this movie is trying to 'tell' it sure does a crud job of bringing any of them to any sort of conclusion.
The Many Stories of Hail Caesar include: Ralph Fiennes trying to teach a Western Actor how to say a line Scarlett Johanneson struggling to get remarried following her recent pregnancy A Gossip Columnist and Her Twin Sister Battling Over the Same Story (Sounds Interesting Rught, Well it really isn't. Cause none of these plots ever get a proper conclusion. They just come and go.) Which for an ensemble cast is not good. Ralph Fiennes is only in the movie for five minutes, Jonah Hill only has like four lines. Even Joel's wife has a Stan Lee type cameo in this.
I don't know what else to say but in a nutshell; Hail Caesar doesn't know what it wants to be, gets ADD'd into random vignettes that have nothing to do with anything, isn't funny, and honestly kinda sucks.
Not the Coen's Best.