Beware

Rating: 3/10 (18 February 2016)

HAIL, CEASAR!: I don't know what they were trying to do with this one. Is it a satire? Is it a parody of 1950's American film? (Possibly) I don't think the Coen brothers knew either. There're snippets of a big sailor dance number, a water ballet, a religious epic about the crucifixion, a classic Western horseback chase and shooting, a director directing, an editor editing, with appearances of gossip columnists, plus several other classical film genres and old Hollywood lore with a litany of A-listers in cameo roles all of which were supposed to be funny but fall dreadfully flat. The paper thin plot revolves around the kidnapping of leading man Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) the star of the aforementioned sword and sandals epic, by a group of Communist writers and the efforts of studio head (Josh Brolin) to get him back. Except for the three chuckles elicited, I was bored to death by this colossal waste of time. The period seemed to be well executed but it's no reason to see this meaningless, tedious, ill conceived piece of crap movie. Score: 4. It could have only been worse if it opened on March 15th.