Coen, Coen, Con

Rating: 1/10 (13 March 2016)

We should have been fore-warned when the cinema was only a third full as the curtains rolled back. Obviously the absentees had read the IMDb reviews and had decided to do something more interesting such as cleaning the oven or worming the dogs. We forked out £19 to see this pile of nonsense - primarily persuaded by the trailer which contained the only bits of humour in what turned out to be a very long 1.75 hours - and it makes me as mad as hell that decent actors such as Ranulph Fiennes and Tilda Swinton should add their effort and names to such a pile of cr@p. Between them they probably put in less than 24 hours work and got paid xxx thousands. Don't have your pockets picked by these frauds. You've seen the other reviews. You know what to do. Stay at home. Worm those dogs. Put your rubber gloves on clean the oven. You know it makes sense.