Hail, Caesar! by Wayne J. Keeley

Rating: 5/10 (4 December 2019)

You expect certain things from established filmmakers. With the writing, directing producing brothers, Ethan and Joel Coen, creators of such classics as Blood Simple, Barton Fink, Miller's Crossing, Fargo, etc., you expect quirkiness, colorful characters, actors cast against type, Mamet-like dialogue, biting sarcasm and satirical wit. And, I am happy to say, all of those things are found in their latest cinematic endeavor, Hail, Caesar! I am not happy to say that the sum isn't greater than the parts and this film, when stacked against their previous ones, simply does not work.
The film consists of several separate stories involving the shameless (and rather petty) trials and tribulations of hailceasar6certain "stars" under contract to the fictitious Capitol Pictures in Hollywood circa late 40s/early 50s. The thread of diverse stores are held together by the studio's "cleaner" and "equalizer" Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin). Mannix has to deal with everything from actor abduction to covering up a pregnancy for the studio's leading lady. Overworked and underpaid Mannix squelches the sins of studio with quick dispatch. Meanwhile, he remains conflicted over his personal venial sins of sneaking cigarettes and lying to his wife about it.
The acting was wonderful. Brolin certainly possesses the physical presence to hold the separate pieces of the story together. The ensemble cast made up of name actors and Coen alumni was spot-on; including George Clooney, Scarlett Johansson, Jonah Hill (blink and you'll miss him, yet he is featured on the movie poster - talk about oxymoronic Hollywood), Frances McDormand, etc. I felt like I was watching the classic comedy It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and playing name those cameos. Alden Ehrenreich is terrific as the rodeo champion who is a fish out of water in Hollywoodland. Channing Tatum is especially a standout in a Gene Kelly homage to On The Town. (It's almost worth the price of admission just to see Channing.)
So what's the problem? As a whole, the film didn't hold together; it was draggy, at times pedantic and even self-indulgent (during an homage to Esther Williams' mermaid/water dance films, I felt like standing up and saying, "Alright already! We get it!" There is only so far you can carry a joke. The predecessor Coen films were quirky, humorous and engaging without being pretentious. Here, it almost seems as if the Coen duo set out to make the most pretentious film possible. I felt as if the filmmakers were hijacked by copycat aliens who endeavored to make a Coen-like film rather than an authentic Coen film.
Having directed a satirical comedy in the past about Hollywood (and vowing never to do another one again because of the subjectivity involved), I understand how difficult the genre can be for the filmmaker. The Coen brothers have been amazingly consistent at making engaging, dark satirical comedies. Hail Ceasar!, unfortunately, is not one of them.