Oh For God's Sake

Rating: 1/10 (9 July 2016)

In a time when we are deeply concerned about wasting the resources of mother earth, this movie wastes everything, including almost 2 hours of my life. I am a simple man, that likes simple things and I generally take people at their word. So when I saw the professional reviews for this flick were ~85% positive, I thought well, this will be a good flick for the wife and I to watch on movie night.
I was wrong, they (the professional critics/hacks) were wrong. The wife made it about 45 minutes before deciding to go upstairs and do some work on her laptop. Yes, the movie is indeed so bad that she chose to do some work on a Saturday night rather than watch the movie. She is usually much more patient but I am more stubborn so sometimes I'll watch the whole movie no matter how bad just to I can feel more like a victim. And that is exactly what I am this movie victimized me and brutalized me- Not in swift way but sort of a long term painful assault.
The only half way decent part of the flick is the part where they try to get Hobie to say his line properly.
So please explain to me how is it that two famous directors the Coen Bros.and several huge movie stars can all conspire together to make such a horrible picture? I am generally not a big environmentalist but this movie made me wonder how is our planet any better for this movie? It can't be any better and it is certainly worse off.
Think of the poor dinosaurs that gave their lives for the fuel to power this massive abortion of a movie. I am not a brilliant man nor a I a dullard and I cannot for the life of me figure out what they were trying to achieve with this garbage. I makes me wonder if the Coen Bros. called up Clooney and the rest of the numpties and said hey- lets all get together, we'll party for a few weeks, have a good time and make some money off of it. We can do a movie so the extras, the people who work on the set, the critics etc can have a pay day and we'll be getting one over on the populace.
I cannot imagine anyone involved in this movie sitting at home one night, looking back over their life and thinking yep that was an honest day's work for an honest day's pay- IP am proud of my effort.
This movie stands for what Hollywood has become. A bunch of self serving artists who prance around in make up all day pretending to be other people. As I write, this I am reminded that movie stars like Clooney, make enormous amounts of money running around in action movies pretending to do things that are similar to what some of us have done in real life. Aside from the danger the biggest difference is they make a ton of money pretending to live the rough life when in reality they can't wait to get home to their fancy digs and complain about world events.
But I digress- essentially this movie is horrible- if you are one of those pretentious people that lives to go to an art gallery and pretend like the artwork in front of you is ground breaking or even worse if you are in real life like the pseudo intellectuals that kidnaps Clooney's character you may like this movie. For the rest of us, just regular people who have simple 'asks' when it comes to a movie- things like being entertained, informed or just plain old escapism you are going to hate it. And you should because this movie is horrible. REALLY bad- pointless and I can't help but think they are playing a joke on people- they make a movie like this and then laugh at the fools who praise it. Hey George, did you see so and so from the Daily Whatever- said, your portrayal was soulful and full of charm? Yeah man I saw that- that guy is an idiot isn't he? Or maybe it is the critics who give it rave reviews that sit back and laugh at us for yet again falling for their garbage.
PS if you saw the movie my review may remind you of it- a bunch of unrelated thoughts and ideas that really don't flow well and seem to be more like a ship lost at seas than a real review- yeah I did it on purpose.