Marvel's First Turd (real person review)

Rating: 3/10 (8 August 2017)

After reading through the sea of effusively positive reviews, I feel compelled to add to the short list of those who actually seemed to have watched the movie. This movie was a complete and utter disaster. I actually rank the first GOTG as my favorite of the Marvel franchise (and easily the most watched at around 20 times), so I was very excited to see this one. I can honestly say I've never before been disappointed by a Marvel production (modern era), and I have actually thought aloud on more than one occasion that Marvel just seems to know how to get it right. It seemed they were infallible, incapable of putting out a bad movie. Unfortunately, they finally got it wrong. The best word I've seen used is forced. Everything feels forced. The plot, the acting, the action, the jokes, the emotion....all of it. With all other Marvel movies, you immerse into the story, you live the plot. While watching this, I gradually become less and less immersed and became increasingly aware of how awful the movie was. I finished it, hoping for a rebound, but it just gets worse, like a turd rolling down hill. By the end, its like a Gatlin gun of turd pellets being shot from the screen, a run of bad jokes, bad acting, bad dialogue, bad plot, and just plain bad experience. I'm truly just dumbfounded that Marvel could screw up at all, and especially this badly. How is this even the same director as the first? Did he have a stroke since the first film? I feel like I've gone through all of the stages of grief except acceptance, and I never will accept this Kentucky Klondike Bar of a movie. Go home GOTG2, you're drunk. Go back and try again.