Fun To Look At, Grating To Listen To

Rating: 5/10 (20 May 2017)

Just got out of the theater and here are my initial thoughts: stunning visuals and CGI-work, a sub-par plot with forced jokes, and a lack of an emotional payoff.
I probably wouldn't have seen this one if I wasn't forced into it in a group setting (I'm really starting to suffer from Marvel fatigue) but I went into it with an open mind. I was shocked that the first one was so well received, I thought it was average; all the fuss over it always really confused me. You'd imagine my surprise when I click over to Vol. 2's IMDb page and find it above an 8!
Vol. 2 is definitely worse than it's predecessor. The plot is convoluted and never really feels like it has high stakes. What exactly is the villain's motivation in all this? I don't really understand. The wrinkle involving the villain being his dad had the potential to be great but was done improperly. In order for that to work, you'd need your main character to have some type of emotional struggle as lines are drawn in the sand between choosing his "family" and choosing his father. Instead, Kurt Russell almost immediately and inexplicably tells his son that he killed his mother. WHY?! This ultra-intelligent demigod had to have known how poor of an idea it was to tell him this.
Speaking of poor plot, what was that whole subplot between Rocket and Yondu? "We're both jerks so we share a common bond." Okay movie, whatever you say. This movie's over 2 hours, this subplot is completely unnecessary. I'm already checking my watch.
Now to my biggest problem: the humor. While the 80's nostalgia references from the original felt fun and organic, all of it in here felt forced and dull. No one in a serious argument should be dropping "Cheers" references to someone they must surely know has no idea what you're talking about. I was not expecting all the potty humor either. I don't mind that kind of stuff if it's done well but all of it in here was extremely cringe-worthy.
Groot's remission back to a tiny twig just screamed of toy development. Marvel's going to be making Baby Groot merchandise until they milk that river dry. I was rolling my eyes at the opening credit sequence involving him. What are we doing, Marvel? A lot of this felt targeted to a far younger audience than last time.
As far as positives go, it's all about the visuals. There are some stunning shots in this movie (the overhead shot of the arrow whistling around the ship immediately comes to mind). Marvel always does a good job at doing that so, at the very least, you can walk out of a theater remembering some pretty cool cinematography.
Finally the conclusion, it felt like a dud. I'm suppose to feel emotionally attached to this Yondu bandit that kidnapped our protagonist and was a villain for over half the duration of these movies? He said it himself, he hasn't done a good deed his entire life. Because he changes his tune in the last ten minutes and dies like a martyr I'm suppose to sympathize with this fella? I just can't. Maybe we're meant to vicariously sympathize through Quill since he sees Yondu as a father figure but I just couldn't buy into it.
I've lost more and more interest in the Marvel movies and this maybe the last straw. I'm hanging them up for a while. It was a good run.