Turdmasters Of The Universe!

Rating: Null/10 (6 August 2014)

First let me say that this review is not meant to dissuade anyone from enjoying this movie or going to see it...after all we each have our own tastes and preferences which apply to a myriad of things in life. Yet I am not one of those that liked or enjoyed "Guardians Of The Galaxy"...I know...shocking!!!
I had misgivings about this movie since the beginning, but after all the hype it has been getting recently, and at a friend's insistence, and against my better judgement, I went to see it...and boy do I regret it! It was underwhelming to say the least!
"Guardians Of The Galaxy" is yet another big, blockbuster, popcorn behemoth in the increasing tradition of movies that like to keep pretending that they stand for something or possess a deeper meaning than the actually do!
Do not be fooled into believing, guided by the cries of joy and applause it is getting, that this is some kind of irreverent, anti-establishment, rebellious, subversive movie, a proverbial cinematic middle-finger to the franchise, re-boot, sequelitis infirm and moribund Hollywood! This isn't the wink, wink, nudge, nudge (thank you Monty Python for that one!) kind of film!
As many of its $100 or $200 million dollars plus budget counterparts, this is yet another blighted vomit fest of explosions, special effects...a thunderous, meaningless, meandering cacophony of irrelevant sights and sounds, all neatly disguised under a thin, and I mean very thin, coating of substance! It is populated by characters I didn't care for, a story that left me somewhere from indifferent to bored, accompanied by direction and production values that fit into the cookie-cutter mold of the Marvel- Disney juggernaut!
The only reason I did not give it a lower rating than 4 out of 10 was that sometimes(though not often enough)some of the humour and jokes hit their target, and I thought that Groot was mildly interesting.
It will surely make money and win accolades, blah, blah, blah...but for me as a moviegoer, this flick, "Guardians Of The Galaxy" or as I re-named them "Turdmasters Of The Universe", will fade from memory and join the ranks of a sadly increasing list of movies I won't care to remember I have ever seen.