The Totinos Pizza Roll of Cinema

Rating: 7/10 (4 September 2014)

Like anyone didn't know what to expect. It's made by Marvel, it stars Chris Pratt, and it features a talking raccoon who rides a sentient tree and shoot a gun. We're not exactly here for the plot. Yet, despite the absurdity, the utterly impenetrable miasma of jargon and in-jokes that passes for a plot, the lack of any explanation of anythingâ€”all of it, this thing is enjoyable as heck.
It's the Totinos Pizza Roll of cinema. I shall explain. Anyone who has lived through college probably knows the phenomena I'm referring to. A pizza roll is garbage. By any practical measure, it's refuse shaped and sold as junk food. There is absolutely nothing you could point to and say is quality. And yet, you crave it. It's amazing. You can't stop eating them, even though you know it's probably turning your stomach to jelly as you do so.
That's this movie. You can't really say why you like it, but you just kinda do.