Anyone who gave this over 5 stars is wrong

Rating: 3/10 (14 September 2014)

I went into this movie'with high hopes. I'd seen positive reviews and heard it favourably compared with Serenity - a particularly favourite of mine. I left the cinema bored and irritated. This film was so derivative, frankly I'm surprised that anyone gave it more than 5 stars. Opening scene? Indiana Jones and the lost Ark. Badies? A leather clad Darth Vader with runny mascara. Emperor? Check. Secret about the father? Check.
People have said that they felt the characters were fleshed out.. Are you out of your minds? "I lost my mother". "Really? I lost my wife and child" "That's nothing. I was cut up and put back together so many times AND I was bullied". "Well I used to be a shrub and was transplanted without permission". The special affects were massive and continuous and - in the end dulled the senses. There was the inevitable Ninja babe and cutesy furry character. No one meaningful died apart from Darth who got fried in blue fire.. why he didn't just grab on and share the magic I don't know. Lastly there was no sense of tension. We all knew that the goodies were going to survive. There's a sequel to make right? I could go on and on but I won't. I went to see this in hope. I won't be seeing the next one unless Joss Whedon is put in charge. Sigh another wasted two hours of my life.