Total Waste of Time--Ripoffs of Star Wars are Abundant!

Rating: 1/10 (2 August 2014)

This movie just sucked. It was so damn juvenile that, as an adult, I felt as board and uninterested as listening to a 10 year old tell me how their day went at elementary school. There's a main underlying premise, but not much happens between the beginning of the movie and the end, and the damn thing is about 2 hours long.
Chris Pratt's character was a rip-off Han Solo but extremely laid-back to the point of being annoying and too hip with a douche, bro-surfer attitude, Zoe Saldana's character was uninteresting and relatively weak in the story when she could have had a bigger part, and that damn raccoon voiced by Bradley Cooper was more annoying than Jar Jar Binks in Star Wars! This movie rips off Star Wars in many way, down to the retro-like scifi look of the movie. Half, and I mean it seemed like half...it was that boring, the movie took place in a prison, and nothing really happened besides their dumb escape...trust me it was stupid how they escaped.
This movie is like watching an incoherent child's illogical dream. It is an orgy of impossible, child-like fantasy. There is nothing in it that made sense, and there is nothing that engaged the viewer. The antagonist is invincible, but wait no he's not...the protagonist is a fragile human, but wait no he's not...It's probably one of the most poorly written comic book adaptations in cinema history. Hell, or it's probably one of the best! Marvel comic books are pathetically stupid, anyway. I hate this movie with a passion, and I so regret seeing it. Do yourself a favor and skip this boring, extremely poorly written film.