Go, Ulquiorra!

Rating: 5/10 (1 December 2014)

Well, the movie was good. Not great, not hyper-super-extra-mega incredible, but good enough. It is fun, it is exciting, the heroes are not typical (and are thus more enjoyable), the visuals are just as stunning as any Marvel production, and, hey, it has genetically altered raccoon (or what?) in it.
Seriously, the mutated raccoon is awesome. The best character —and the most realistic and layered one, as ridiculous as that sounds — by far.
Now, for the negative aspects:
Like I said in the beginning, don't expect anything spectacularly groundbreaking (except for the raccoon). The heroes — and the villains — may not be typical, but they ARE stereotypical. A goofball anti-hero with more love for money than honor, later gaining a moral backbone for (random) love? Check. An Amazon type gal with a tragic past, finally learning to trust? Check. A humorless, selfish avenger out for blood, but learning friendship and morals are more important than revenge? Check. Then we have the good-natured, but stupid tree thingy / Ent for comic relief. The raccoon is plain cool. Watch the movie, if only for him.
The plot is... packed. Way too much for one film. You can follow it fine, but only because more is left unsaid than said, and much is vaguely implied — sure to be explored in the countless sequels to come. So, it's basically dumbed down. Which is annoying, even if I understand the necessity. And it's STILL packed. Don't expect a breather. You don't go to the bathroom — or attempt to blink — during this movie without getting catapulted out of the loop faster than light. And in the end, expect to leave your seat in a catatonic state, without being able to recall anything of substance, including the main leads' names.
But regardless, you get exactly what you payed for with Guardians of the Galaxy. It's enjoyable, really. Surprisingly so, seeing as it's basically a barely coherent, jumbled collection of clichés. That's actually quite a feat, if one thinks about it.
(As an after-note, I must admit some of the movie lost its magic for me because of the villain. I'm on team Ulquiorra. It's rather miserable when you're rooting for the bad guy all along.)