Overrated and loaded with lame attempts at comedy

Rating: 1/10 (3 August 2014)

Disappointing would be a massive understatement for this turkey. Chris Pratt falls flat in his attempt at movie stardom. It takes more than hiring a personal trainer to be an A-lister & this guy lacks the "It Factor". The lame one liner jokes are relentlessly fired off, all of which fail to hit the mark. The CGI is heavy handed and distracting, this film is the cinematic equivalent of Kim Kardashian: desperate for attention, and utterly empty on the inside. Setting this epic lack of substance to the hits of yesteryear only highlights how desperate the Marvel hacks are to conjure up some sort of hipster factor. Sadly, Zoe Saldana (in green face) is wasted as the token female character in this excruciating hot dog fest. This "movie" will only satisfy the most simplistic of audience members: those who mistake product placement for entertainment. If all you are seeking is an empty shell of film featuring a truck load of hideous special effects, you will no doubt be pleased.