Pew, Pew, and with a dash of boredom placed on a pedestal

Rating: 1/10 (7 August 2014)

Such an awful wreck! There I said it. These marvel films are becoming a huge bore and nevertheless have disappointed anyone even bothering to consider that maybe one day Hollywood will create a stellar film. But this?! This!? Garbage? Filled, to-the-lid with CGI! The typical stereotypes blown over proportions and yet people still go to these theaters and pay for this crap and still LIE to themselves and honestly say that it was a "fantastic" and "great" and "awesome" A film that would put a psychologist laughing maniacally in their leather armchair. The "Ten out of Ten" reviews are being given out like candy from these people. Were the characters bad? Yes. How many? Out of the guardians, it's obvious out of the five, there's Groot, the tree humanoid incapable of having a conversation, but don't worry it can understand what you're saying until of course, the record of the Idiot starts to play and Groot marches off and ruins your pitch perfect plan. He's the cgi character crutch. Crutch? How exactly? Simple when there's a break in the scene, here comes Groot and then we say..."okay Groot, perform your thing and then maybe even add a homage to the Hulk?" Rocket Raccoon, what a mess isn't he? Both as a character and the fact that most of the emotion in this film came from the animated Raccoon. How many scenes will star him seething at the audience? As if his problems are towards everyone? What's even worse is the fact everyone is laughing at him in real life, there's no respect for him outside the film. Oh, and where's his real accent? Though I would have to say he's not the character that ruined the movie, what a surprised. In the fight of Man versus CGI, cgi wins in having a character outperform it's humanoid actors. And what of Quill, Gamora, and Draxx? David Bautista as Draxx was actually the better of the three, in the overall performance (if any) Why? Well, you'll be sharing this characters maniacal laughter once you've realized you wasted valuable devotion for a franchise whose focus is better spent on a festival of explosions rather than a film focusing on Quality. Oh, but wait! Quill and his quirks and Gamora as the feminism object! Dun, Dun, Dun! The perfect trio nowadays are the idiots and the friendly brutes and the threatening but soft spot woman! Chris Pratt and Zoe Saldana... WHAT COULD GO WRONG...oh I don't know... Let's start predicting before we start watching the film... Is there a sex scene? It's PG-13, so no, but is there a RomCom kiss scene? You BETCHA! Ah, what a romanticism of a film! Please let me just change my rating from 6 to ZERO
If you expect a disappointment, you're welcome. If you're an oblivious fanatic that just loves hearing and reading the same regurgitated lines, you're in for a whirlwind!
Good Luck Marvel in your festival of delusion! May the farce be with you!