"Took three men to write this, yet it offers not a single haymaker".

Rating: Null/10 (20 January 2014)

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Rocky met Jake LaMotta in a boxing match? When they were both approaching age 70 and retired?
Grudge Match has arrived to make these boxing movie giants collide, except this time Stallone plays Henry "Razor" Sharp, while De Niro takes on the role of Billy "The Kid" McDonnen. New names in order to avoid getting sued, but similar personalities nevertheless.
A ferocious feud goes down between the two men in their days of boxing, with each man getting a victory over the other. The world wanted a re- match, and Kid wanted it more than everybody. That is when disappointing news came along by Sharp announcing his retirement. With his greatest rival out of the business, Kid's career soon went downhill.
Years later, Razor works a normal, quiet life in a shipyard. Kid owns a car dealership and a restaurant. A promoter by the name of Dante King Jr. (Kevin Hart) stops by Razor's home, and offers him a large paycheck in order to do motion capturing for a new video-game.
Razor turns it down at first, but is convinced when he realizes that he does indeed need the money. He tells King that he will do it, as long as Kid is booked to motion capture his on a different day. The two never got over their bad blood for each other.
Can you guess what happens next? Kid shows up, the two argue on the set, and boom, social media gets a hold of it. The video is popular, a fight is suggested, and the two former rulers of the ring set out to prove that they are not dinosaurs.
Ex-girlfriend Sally Rose (Kim Basinger) re-appears after thirty years, and tries to spark up a conversation with Sharp. Due to her formerly being romantically involved with Kid as well, Sharp is not very interested. This will be built upon as the film progresses.
The films run-time is around two hours, so they decided to fill it with every single known cliché in the books. This is a sport movie that is identical to every other sport movie. You have a romance that is as fun as watching paint dry. Family problems that shamelessly escalate by being forced in order to make a character realize a change is required.
Calling out exactly what happens can be done by viewing the trailer. I will admit that it has a few cool scenes such as the boxers appearing at an UFC event, and getting into an argument with the fighters. It also succeeds at being funny at times.
The laughs are more subtle than the overly stupid approach many comedies are resorting too these days. Stallone provokes a few giggles, as he repeats some of the things he did in Rocky films, but makes fun of them. The acting was not bad for the most part, and some were even great.
Kevin Hart did a fabulous job, and lightened up the screen as King. Alan Arkin did a fine job as Razor's trainer, while Jon Berthal of Walking Dead fame was believable as the son Kid never attempted to meet.
Grudge Match did not need to be two hours. Everyone who had interest in this film cared about seeing Stallone go against De Niro, and not the generic plot devices that would be used to build it. I did not expect this to have the depth of a film such as The Fighter, but my ultimate point is just that the majority of it was slow. I was tempted to hit the fast forward button more than once.
All the build leads to a final fight, which is somewhat not worth the long journey of waiting for it. The fights in the Rocky movies or Raging Bull were superior, and the winner was clear from the start. So were the clichés that went down before the winner was announced.
My favorite part was the post-credits scene with Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield being persuaded by Kevin Hart. It was actually laugh out loud funny, and allowed the film to end with a smile on my face.
Die hard boxing film fans will even be disappointed by this one. It includes a few laughs even if you do not like boxing, but none that will make it worth rushing too. Stallone and De Niro were able to get in convincing shape, and the idea sounded awesome on paper. The execution just failed to live up to the idea.
Read More at: http://thycriticman.com/