What a train wreck..

Rating: 7/10 (8 April 2007)

I've been looking forward to seeing Grindhouse since I first heard about it. From Dusk Til Dawn is my all time favorite movie, and that was the earliest and still best collaboration between directors Tarantino and Rodriguez. I was expecting something mind blowing, something so original that it would knock me flat on my ass, but overall, Grindhouse didn't do that for me.
I will say, the fake trailers are brilliant, and I am completely going to buy Machete the day it hits DVD, and the others were hiliarious and dead on satires of their respective genres. What was killing me throughout this whole experience, however, was the nearly ruined picture quality, and the completely ruined sound quality. Now before everyone jumps down my throat, I know this is all an homage to the good old days back in the 70's where people sat through 3 hours of cheesy popcorn flicks, put up with sticky seats, damaged prints, and unsavory management. I don't really feel the need to relive that. We've evolved beyond it, I suggest we all enjoy that fact. What I did want to see, was two great, cheesy action movies with the trademark brilliant dialog and spot on casting that I've come to expect from my two favorite directors. If I can't understand half the words, what's the fun in that? Given the fact that Planet Terror was relatively dialog and story intensive, the indecipherable sound didn't help much. I enjoyed that movie as a whole, but once again, the missing reel... Sure it sounds like a good idea as a whole, but people really must be mindless idiots to say that made the movie better. I'll tell you what, if I paid to go see puss spewing zombies get blown away by a stripper with an M16 for a leg, I expect a little bit of a pay off in the way of a storyline. They just discarded all of that, and I'm left with one still in the chamber. On a positive note, all the casting was great including El Wray, Cherry, and Michael Biehn's re emergence after 23 years fighting Terminators in the shadows. I also love the references to previous films, which is just a fun little addition that makes the movies better.
As for Death Proof, it makes me really sad to say that I was very disappointed. I've seen every movie Tarantino has made at least 3 times, and I loved each one, being just different enough from the last to make them completely unique and re watchable. Death Proof is still a great concept, but the delivery was just 3 feet off the mark, in my opinion. It may just be me, but watching 4 girls engage in frivolous conversation is about as entertaining as being constipated on a public toilet. The first sequence with Kurt Russel was just awesome, and there's no denying that. However, lag time in the middle with more jabber by Tarantino's trademark sassy black woman dragged down my buzz big time. The climax, while at time's thrilling, just completely lost it for me, and for the sake of argument, I'll chalk that up to my inability to look past reallllly big plot holes, raise my fist high in the air and say "girl power!" I'm sure more than a few people liked the ending, so I'll leave it alone. What made me really sad was that the sound quality in this movie was just absolutely perfect, when I would soooo very much preferred to not hear the dialog, whereas in Planet Terror I want those precious words to be loud and clear. AND again with the missing reel. Now I'm fully loaded with no where to shoot. Where are those hot Greek babysitters when you need them? Overall, this thing is worth seeing. Especially if someone else pays. The hilarious trailers, the above average action scenes, and at times downright disturbing scenes of gore will do well to placate the lowest among us. However, those of us looking for a real MOVIE experience, rather than a movie-going experience complete with artificial and IMO detrimental ambiance, might feel hindered and ultimately disappointed.
P.S. Nicolas Cage has totally redeemed himself for Ghost Rider. Putz.