are you serious?

Rating: 3/10 (7 April 2007)

CONTAINS SPOILERS
So I've been reading all these great reviews for this movie. First off, I've seen every Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino made, and I happen to be a fan of most b-horror movie types.
Dude, Planet Terror was freak-in' terrible. The dialog was corny and bad, and not FUNNY. Most of the time we laugh at things that are ridiculous, but nothing was really that funny in Planet Terror. If you've seen the trailer, then you know Rosie gets a machine gun for a leg, even on the poster or anything you know it happens. So why build it up for an hour and a half and then use it for the last 5 mins of the movie. The actors and actresses did fine, but the characters weren't really that interesting. My friends and I were shaking our heads the whole time, it was bad. Machete trailer had some funny parts, but man planet terror was disappointing.
So after the movie, were all about to fall asleep, and then something wakes up - the Don't trailer. Had some laughs, was pretty good, but then Eli Roth's trailer - thanksgiving is probably one of the funniest things I've seen a long time. Like Cabin Fever, the whole thing was retarded, but hilarious. That's what Planet Terror was lacking.
So here comes Death Proof. 3 girls in a car talking - usual Tarantino stuff - except they have the windows down, and the wind is blowing and they're talking really fast and I can't understand it. I tried really hard to get in their world, but I have to be able to hear what they're saying. The stuff I did hear, was sub-par. I looked over at my friends, and we all the same look, dude that SH!T was weak. So they get to the bar and it picks up and is cool. Then they kill off all the girls you were following, and bring in 4 more girls - Genius! I loved that, wow, what an original and cool plot twist - again something Planet Terror was missing. And the ending to Death Proof was amazing.
So the idea of the grind house works. They could end up doing a whole series and bringing in new directors every time. I'm a film projectionist, so I found they way they added the focus problems, film dusting and scratching, and missing reels to be awesome and original.
The main thing is I have a feeling they rushed the whole thing, and 3 hours and 20 mins is a long time to be unsatisfied. It would have worked better at an hour shorter. But that's up to each his/her own.
I just can't believe that all of the fans would accept this as up to par as R Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, and Sin City. Just don't buy into the movie right away just because you like the directors - they're not flawless, and sometimes they can make bad movies.