"A white-hot juggernaut at 200 miles per hour!"

Rating: Null/10 (9 April 2007)

Since I grew up in the 80's I never got to experience the "Grindhouse" era. I missed out on the sleazy, sensational, and the over-the-top sex and violence that exploitation films had to offer on the big screen. Imagine then, my pleasure when Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino announced that they were going to make an exploitive double feature and call it Grindhouse. Each would direct a full length picture and have fellow artists make faux trailers to complete the experience. I was delirious with anticipation. April 6th couldn't arrive fast enough. Well, April 6th has passed and you're probably wondering how the films measured up. Grindhouse may be the best experience I've ever had going to the movies. The minute that familiar music cues up announcing the coming attractions I had a smile plastered to my face until the last credit rolled (and, to be honest, a long time after that). The adventure begins with a fake trailer showcasing Rodriguez regular Danny Trejo. It's a classic revenge movie called Machete and it sets the bar high for what's to come. Then RR's feature begins to roll: Planet Terror. It opens big too. You know you are in for an all-out horror epic from the get-go. The military is at it again with a biological warfare agent that turns ordinary citizens into blood thirsty "sickos." It's basically a non-zombie zombie movie with great characters and gallons of the gooey stuff. I won't say anything else about the plot, other than strap in and enjoy the ride. What I will talk about are the actors in this segment. Rodriguez has hired everyone from up-and-comers to B-movie vets and they're all up for the task. Let me rattle off the names and say that I was impressed with everyone: Michael Biehn, Jeff Fahey, Freddy Rodriguez, Rose McGowan, Tom Savini, Michael Parks (as Texas Ranger Earl McGraw), Josh Brolin, Marley Shelton, Naveen Andrews, Bruce Willis, Stacy Ferguson, Nicky Katt, and El Mariachi himself Carlos Gallardo. That's an impressive cast! By the end of this feature you will be on a high high. Even though there is a lot of purposeful print damage and even a missing reel to give it the feel of the period, I think Planet Terror owes more to 80's gore and silliness than the 70's. But that's where Tarantino comes in (which I'll get to after a few short "prevues"). To bridge the gap we have some more highly entertaining fake trailers. First up, Rob Zombie tackles the Nazi sub-genre with Werewolf Women of the S.S. The title pretty much says it all. He's brought with him his usual cast of "rejects" along with Udo Kier and the resurrected Sybil Danning. Nic Cage also pops up as Fu Manchu! Then we have the Edgar Wright directed Don't. Don't is a take-off of the British, Gothic chiller and the narration is the best part. Finally, we have Eli Roth's Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving, the slasher movie that is long overdue, was my favorite of the coming attractions. It perfected the look of those old trailers: the graininess, the deep-throated narration, and the sick humor. This leads into Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof. Get comfortable because the pace slows down a bit. I thought QT did a great job of capturing the essence of the era and what makes those flicks irresistible. Like so many of those films, it was a slow build to a memorable climax. If Planet Terror is a rock-n-roll induced, Italian influenced Nightmare City apocalypse, then Death Proof is a bizarre, American gem you'd likely find hiding on one of those public domain DVD's that's been abandoned for years yearning for an audience. In Death Proof, the inimitable Kurt Russell stars as Stuntman Mike. He's got a thing for the ladies but it's not altogether healthy: he kills them with his suped up, 100% death proof, hot rod. The scenes that had the most impact with me were the deaths of the girls. These scenes are brutal. Especially after you have spent time with their characters and QT gets you to like them. It's straight out of Psycho, but it's still unexpected and highly effective. Tarantino lulls you into a safe zone with his usual pop culture banter (he's captured some really good chick dialogue here) and then BAM!!! You're looking at roadkill chili at 200 miles an hour! Stuntman Mike is a creepy, cool character who is very badass and manly when he's the hunter. But when the shoe is on the other foot, he turns into the biggest wuss. This was a character arc that I really haven't seen too often and I thought it was fun. His next group of intended victims give Stuntman Mike something to remember them by. Again, this cast is superb. With Russell in the driver's seat, all of "the girls" are wonderful. The real surprise standouts are Zoe Bell (playing herself) and Vanessa Ferlito. I have only one problem with Death Proof. It should have played first in the double bill. A lot of people are hating on it and I think it's because Planet Terror is such a roller coaster ride and Death Proof takes a longer time to get going. The pace is a bit more uneven here, but I don't think people would have cared if it was the first feature. As much as I loved Grindhouse, the average movie-going public is not ready for this film. You have to understand B-movie logic and have a working knowledge of exploitation cinema to really "get it." Hell, some people walked out after Planet Terror ended because they didn't know there was a second feature. I heard some people grumbling "How does she fire her machine gun leg?" The answer is that it doesn't matter because it's a tribute to B-movies. That's why film geeks are loving it while the average Joe and Joann are left shaking their heads. While both films may be considered "flawed", the experience itself was beyond perfection.