Missing reel?? I think not. The Porkchop Express rides again.

Rating: 9/10 (17 May 2007)

Much like a Rocky movie or a Jackie Chan classic gung-fu movie, an elaborate montage of training scenes is required here. Please include the jogging, mastering of elaborate martial arts techniques seemingly overnight, chasing chickens and fighting slabs of meat (and I don't mean Stallone). My preparation was mental, spiritual and even physical. I primarily prepared myself by going to the cliff notes of grindhouse (42nd St. Forever Vol 1,2,3). This was not my sole preparation. I also skimmed the classics and even managed time for things I had not seen. I was ready. (For more on grindhouse, see my review of 42nd St Forever, Vol 2).
Initially I was to see this movie on opening weekend (Easter weekend) at AMC 42nd Street at the midnight showing (it would have been perfect). It was not to be as my body decided it had other plans. It wasn't a total loss as I did get to see it at AMC 42, with a smaller, but excited audience. At the box office, it has done terribly and I think this is in part mostly due to the its marketing, release date and subject matter. This is not a mainstream movie. It is a niche homage and perfect movie for the fans, but not for the masses. This is more than a movie, as it is a time capsule of a movie experience.
Theatrical breakdown (in order):
1) "Machete" trailer - directed by Robert Rodriguez
2) "Planet Terror", the first feature - also directed by Robert Rodriguez ("Grindhouse" titles instead)
3) "Werewolf Women of the SS" trailer - directed by Rob Zombie
4) Tex Mex food ad
5) "Don't" trailer - directed by Edgar Wright
6) "Thanksgiving" trailer - directed by Eli Roth
7) "Death Proof" (a.k.a - Thunderbolt), the second feature - directed by Quentin Tarantino
Planet Terror starts out with a heart pumping pole dance by the salacious Rose McGowan. The rest of the movie is an adrenaline ride based on the Return on the Living Dead and Assault on Precinct 13, complete with grape jelly CG blood and lots of zombies. The action is over the top (machine gun leg, helicopter, firepower, etc) but felt more like 80's "R"-rated action movie than grindhouse. I felt like Rodriguez didn't really get grindhouse. The humor works for the movie, but the feeling throughout is that it doesn't take itself too seriously. It should be serious, but is too much tongue-in-cheek. While visually nice and heart-pounding, it lacked passion. This is the part of the movie most people enjoyed. I would give it 7/10.
Death Proof is Tarantino's answer to I Spit on Your Grave (a.k.a. Day of the Woman), with cars and a pinch of Rutger the Hitcher and Duel. And not just any cars, but heavily modified muscle cars. Most people felt bored by this feature, since it involved a lot of talking. First of all this is a double-feature and I usually don't expect the same movie type twice (would also make it a bit repetitive and boring). I think the segue, though rough on some with caffeine/sugar addiction, is a nice way to tuck you in for the remainder of the movie. It is classic grindhouse and the dialog is done in classic Tarantino style. It sounds really cool but not much is said. I would call it "elevated wasted dialog". It contains the best death scenes of either feature. I was clapping and cheering by the end of it. I give it 10/10.
The trailers (and the features as well) are pure homage; From the missing reels, to the static, to the skips, pops, burns, movie posters and even Jack Burton's T-Shirt. As with most things Tarantino, the soundtrack is eclectic. It works for his feature, but outside of the movie it falls a little flat. I guess Kill Bill set the bar a little high. Rodriguez, on the other hand, uses a more traditional soundtrack. As with other Tarantino movies there is a revival of talent with Michael Biehn, Josh Brolin and Kurt Russel. They are not alone and makes for a great cast; from Cheech to Nicholas Cage.
Grindhouse is a part of America that is now gone. A back alley America with dirt on its hands and it didn't care. A blue collar attitude that has instead given way to a white shirt and tie and nothing but veiled political correctness. Some of us got to experience the former. This preserves that experience, albeit it in more antiseptic environment. If you like movies, film and/or the visual arts (and you don't just think of movies as only entertainment), then you should see this movie. It is not for everybody. But for those (like me), who thought this was coconut cream pie with whip creme, then here's to hoping for an unrated-missing reels included version on DVD.