Kurt Russell, Tarantino, severed balls, and Fergie? Sign me up!

Rating: 8/10 (15 October 2010)

Grindhouse? What the hell does that mean? Is this even something I'd enjoy? A typical moviegoer would say ask those questions. One who's typical night out includes seeing a high budgeted film in a theater with anti-sticky floors, nice leather seats, and viewing the cinematic experience in the finest audio and video presentation possible. Not to mention, one who's spending a mere ten bucks on a late outing with a soul film, that typically, doesn't deliver what it promises. Grindhouse is exactly the complete opposite of that. Grindhouse is typically defined as a double feature, in which two B-flick films (oh no, you won't find a DeCaprio here) play back to back, while trailers serve as the intermission. Not to mention that grindhouse experiences consisted of those annoying product placements and how heavily they emphasize on a restricted rating. As for people that know what a Grindhouse is and misses the experience they once had, well folks, here's your chance! Step right up and pay your ten bucks for two films, fake trailers, "restriction" cards, and a restaurant advertisement. Don't go in searching for the latest Hollywood actor, some fancy set pieces, or a clear picture and chances are, you'll probably have a fun time.
THE MOVIES ____________
Planet Terror: ***1/2 out of (****) or 8/10. Basically, this film has a copy-and-paste script since the plot is paper-thin and it involves the usual, "virus breaks out and people get infected" concept. However, that's what makes this film more overall effective. Planet Terror is the first film to be featured in the double-bill and rightfully so. The performances are top- notch, the pacing is brisk, the body count is plentiful, and it's just boatloads of fun. How can you go wrong with a Fergie cameo, a Quentin Tarantino cameo, Robert Rodriguez in the director's chair, severed balls, a go-go dancer with a machine gun for a leg, and her Mexican companion? Planet Terror is the finest B-flick I've seen because Rodriguez proves to us that even though your film is intentionally bad, that doesn't mean it has to have weak dialog or characters. It can have great characters, some funny one-liners, and a brisk pace added to the mix. Highly recommended.
Death Proof: ***1/2 out of (****) or 8/10. Okay, I know many will beg to differ with me putting both movies on par with each other, but let me ask you this. How is it fair to say one film is better than the other when both films are in two entirely different ballparks? If you want a break-neck pace, a "get-to-the-point" direction, and hardcore thrills, see "Planet Terror". However, if you ask for a little more character development and a rather smoother pace, seek out "Death Proof". Honestly, this film is underrated. I mean, yes, there is a lot of redundant dialog, but I was entertained and that twenty minute car crash sequence even made me like this movie more. I can't really say I liked one film over the other. Both set out to do what they wanted and succeeded greatly.
THE FAKE TRAILERS ___________________
Machete: *** out of (****) or 7/10. You've just *beeped* with the wrong Mexican! That's just one out of many cheesy moments. From a badass Mexican to a three-way pool scene to a priest with guns, this will quench the thirsts of avid B-flick fans. While I liked the faux trailer, it loses a star (or three) because it didn't keep my interest as the others did, but it was still good.
Werewolf Woman Of the S.S.: **** out of (****) or 10/10. No lie, I absolutely loved this trailer. I mean it truly showcases how such of a douchebag Hitler was, a nice campy tone, and a Chinese Nicholas Cage. Can this get any better? Apparently so since I gave it a terrific rating.
Don't: **** out of (****) or 10/10. This trailer or Thanksgiving was my favorite, even though I love Werewolf Woman Of the S.S. I've always been a sucker for haunted house films and slashers and when I found out "Don't" was a mixture of those, I jumped with joy. Seriously, Edgar Wright is a genius. If this becomes a movie, I'm seeing it.
Thanksgiving: **** out of (****) or 10/10. By the next sentence, you're either with this trailer or not. A knife to the vagina, A swallowing woman who's boyfriend's head is later decapitated, a turkey stuffed with dead bodies, a man humping a dead body filled with turkey, and a dead poor Grannie. Thanksgiving is a wet dream for B-flick lovers. The picture, the voice-over, the money shots. It's all there.
OVERALL EXPERIENCE _____________________
Grindhouse: ***1/2 out of (****)
Overall, Grindhouse is one hell of an outing. Two nearly perfect films, flawless fake trailers, and corny product placement make this a solid recommendation. If you are wondering folks, I saw the WHOLE thing. From the opening "Machete" fake trailer to the credits of "Death Proof", I have seen Grindhouse in its fullest. This could not have happened if the sweetie pies over at Vivendi Entertainment didn't release their Grindhouse Blu-ray. Rodriguez and Tarantino, please, please, make another Grindhouse flick!!