Not Your Average Daily "GRIND"...

Rating: 9/10 (5 December 2008)

Now this was not a $70 million dollar box office barnburner as The Weinstein Company hoped it would be, and I don't know that they should be all that disappointed that it wasn't. Maybe Quentin and Robert never intended it to be. Guess nobody thought about that, did they? I think you have to be of a certain age to really, truly get into this double-header, and since I am, the coolest thing of all about GRINDHOUSE is that it feels like it was made just for me. I didn't see all that much drive-in action when I was coming up, but my neck of the woods in D.C. had more than its share of grindhouses, and did I fritter away a lot of my youth there or what? That precious time I spent made me the slobbering, slavering, mouth- frothing-wild-eyed horror/sci-fi junkie that I am today, and I wouldn't trade that education for anything in the world.
I really liked all of RR's PLANET TERROR. It's so over-the-top splatterific, that as one of my friends pointed out, it's nearly a parody of a grindhouse film. QT's DEATH PROOF is like an Italian 'giallo' film given a hot beef injection of high-octane, muscle-car madness. Only problem is that you will either love or hate the first half-hour or so, which is almost completely nothing but character interaction between the nearly all-female cast. But I loved, loved, LOVED the second half! DEATH PROOF has one of the best car chases of this decade, if not THE best. Think I'm wrong? See it for yourself, then compare it to anything you've seen since 2000. Nothing can touch it. I stand by that statement 100%.
Things I Dug The Most About GRINDHOUSE, in no particular order:
MACHETE - Danny Trejo finally gets his real props, and I hope RR DOES make this one into a "real" movie.
THANKSGIVING - Before Eli Roth makes one more movie, he should watch his own trailer again and remember why this is the SICKEST idea in the world! And I mean that in a good way...
DON'T - Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg know all about what made those Seventies British horror sagas so cheesy, screamy good, and he makes sure to stick the references all through here. EXCELLENT job.
WEREWOLF WOMEN OF THE S.S. - Best trailer for out-and-out laughs and execution, but the one that would most likely suck ass as a 'real' movie. But you gotta give Rob Zombie props for pulling out Sybil Danning. (Where the hell has SHE been???)
CASTING FOR PLANET TERROR - This was one of the things that grindhouse movies were all about: the casting. Everybody did one helluva job, and I sure hope they all get more work from having done this gig, especially Michael Parks, Jeff Fahey, Michael Biehn, Josh Brolin, Marley Shelton, Freddy Rodriguez and Our Girl, Rose McGowan. And the guys at KNB had to be creaming themselves, for having finally gotten a huge internationally-known action star in their clutches. (I won't say who, but you already know him.)
KNB Studios - You know Howard Berger and Greg Nicotero had multiple orgasms working on this flick.
Tracy Thoms, Sydney Poitier, Vanessa Ferlito and Rosario Dawson - Just see DEATH PROOF and you'll know why.
"The Crazy Babysitter Twins" - Don't get me started!
Zoe Bell - Coolest, ballsiest stunt-PERSON ever. KILL BILL would have been crapola without her, and now I know why. QT has to make a movie just for her now.
Kurt Russell - His "Stuntman Mike" in DEATH PROOF may very well erase the memory of anything else he's ever done. And yes, that includes Jack Burton AND 'Snake' Plissken.
RR's THEME FROM "PLANET TERROR" - Every strip club in America will be ripping this song off, and don't think it won't be sampled in more than a few rap tunes.
Final tally: GRINDHOUSE as an overall experience gets a 3-out-of-4 stars. PLANET TERROR rates about a 3.8. The Trailers all together get a 3.5 (but THANKSGIVING by itself is a definite 4.) DEATH PROOF also gets a 4. The well-written but slow dialogue sequences keep it from getting an out-and-out 5, but that last half-hour or so pushes it just above its companion.
(This is based mainly on the theatrical experience. NOTE TO MIRAMAX: When you put out the DVD set that has BOTH MOVIES and the trailers intact, call me. Otherwise? Don't bother looking for my $$$...)