A terrifically trashy tribute to cheerfully low-grade 70's exploitation cinema

Rating: 9/10 (8 April 2007)

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show. Tonight for your viewing pleasure we have two blithely low-rent Grade B items on a single hugely entertaining double bill.
"Planet Terror" - A zombie epidemic breaks out in a dusty backroads Texas armpit community. A motley assortment of folks have to fight their way through a teeming mass of lethal hideous ghouls to safety. Writer/director Robert Rodriguez deftly maintains a constant breakneck pace throughout, gleefully pours on the revolting gross-out gore, and stages the nonstop explosive action with exhilarating aplomb. Rodriguez also perfectly nails the lovably shoddy quality of your standard two-cent schlocky horror splatter romp: the hilariously hokey dialogue, cheesy pulsating synthesizer score, raw, grainy, scratched-up cheap film stock, and in-your-face unflinching graphic violence are a total tacky treat to behold. The lovely Rose McGowan has a ball as Cherry, a down-in-the-dumps stripper (oops .. I mean go-go dancer) who has a leg she loses to the zombies replaced with a handy combo machine gun and grenade launcher. The rest of the uniformly excellent cast play their engagingly cardboard characters to the juicy hilt: Freddy Rodriguez as ace two-fisted survivalist Wray, Micheal Biehn as a hard-nosed sheriff, Bruce Willis as a mysterious general, Jeff Fahey as a grizzled diner owner, Stacy Ferguson as an ill-fated motorist, Tom Savini as a bumbling deputy, Josh Brolin as an evil doctor, Quentin Tarantino as an odious would-be rapist, Michael Parks as a rugged Texas ranger, and Marley Shelton as Brolin's faithless wife. This one gets an A+.
"Deathproof" - Murderous misogynistic maniac Stuntman Mike (deliciously played with demented relish by Kurt Russell) gets his depraved jollies out of killing beautiful young women with his souped-up black muscle car (both the adorable Jordan Ladd and McGowan pop up as two of Mike's victims). Mike more than meets his match when he chooses luscious Rosario Dawson, fiery Tracie Thoms, and the incredible Zoe Bell as his next targets. Writer/director Quentin Tarantino starts the film out slow, ably developing the female characters so we honestly care about what happens to them. The opening third is a might dull and talky, but it culminates with a simply spectacular tire-screeching, metal-mangling, rubber-shredding lump-in-your-throat wild and exciting protracted car chase that rates alongside "Vanishing Point" (an obvious acknowledged influence) and "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry" as some of the best vehicular carnage to ever roar its stirring way onto celluloid. This baby earns an B+.
The wraparound stuff: The faux drive-in trailers are mighty tasty indeed. The revenge opus "Machete" starring Danny Trejo as the titular bad hombre comes across like the greatest 70's Charles Bronson flick Bronson alas never did. Eli Roth's so-sick-it's-sidesplitting early 80's seasonal slasher spoof "Thanksgiving" really hits the gut-busting spot. Edgar Wright's equally uproarious "Don't" will have you howling as well. Rob Zombie's "Werewolf Women of the SS" qualifies as a complete outrageous riot, with nifty appearances by Udo Kier, Sybil Danning, Bill Mosely, Sheri Moon, Tom Towles and Nicholas Cage as Fu Mancho (!). My sole criticism is the unfortunate dearth of gratuitous nudity in the two main features. Gratuitous nudity was a principal base ingredient of 70's grindhouse swill, so its glaring absence in both pictures is a tad disappointing. That minor quibble aside, Rodriguez and Tarantino alike still overall deliver a delightfully down'n'dirty cinematic ode to the gloriously sleazy thrills'n'spills joy and vigor of vintage 70's exploitation fare.