Like Nothing You've Ever Seen

Rating: 8/10 (9 April 2007)

I got the chance to see GRINDHOUSE last night (Sunday after its release) and I really enjoyed it. But before I get to the review, here are a few warnings you should consider before seeing this spectacle:
1) The whole show (with trailers, movies, everything) is about 3 hours, 35 minutes (with no intermission). If you decide to see this, do your body a favour by NOT buying the 200 oz. cup of soda. 2) Don't come into this movie expecting something logical, smart, or intelligent. These movie are plain stupidity, but that's what makes them fun. If you think otherwise, you will be disappointed. 3) I have never seen a movie this gory and violent before (or in a really long time). If blood makes you squeamish, stay at home.
Now, to the review.
First the trailers start. Among the trailers for real movies that are coming out, a Grindhouse trailer is shown (there was a Grindhouse festival before, and I guess this trailer won). The movie was so intelligently named "Hobo with a Shotgun". It was the stupidest premise for a movie, but I laughed and it was pretty "Grindhouse-authentic". After the 30 million trailers (it felt like that anyways), the feature presentation starts...or does it? We now come across another trailer (a fake one) for a movie called "Machete". This one was also funny, and a nice start to GRINDHOUSE. Now the movies start.
The first flick of the Rodriguez/Tarantino double bill is PLANET TERROR. It is basically a super-gory zombie movie with typical thrills and chills and the odd funny joke. Look for DEATH PROOF director Quentin Tarantino as "Rapist #1" (near the end of P.T.). I found this movie to be enjoyable, but it isn't very logical and there are a lot of "missing reels" in this one. And it was authentic like all typical grindhouse movies (the picture was scratched and the film sizzled from time to time). As well, the script was solid and the visuals were great, so it's definitely a fun ride.
Next up are the fake trailers, which are kind of like a small intermission if you really had to go to the bathroom (few people did). The trailers were a nice touch to the show, and I really liked the trailer for "Thanksgiving" (it's mentally messed up, but I have to say, it was so stupid and gross it was damn funny). Other trailers included "Don't" and "Werewolf Women of the SS". And with that, the next feature begins.
I was waiting for this one. I am a big Tarantino fan, and I have already read the scripts for the GRINDHOUSE features, so I had an idea of what to expect. From reading the script, I felt disappointed, but watching the movie got my faith back. Quentin Tarantino's DEATH PROOF is about a deranged killer named Stuntman Mike who finds women, stalks them, and then kills them with his car (sounds awful, but it really is fun to watch). Now this movie clearly has a lot less gore than PLANET TERROR, but it has a fantastic car chase that you can't afford to miss. Although I have to say, the car collisions in this movie are graphically epic (especially the first one, jeez!). Again, look for Tarantino to make a cameo as Warren, the bartender. Tarantino is a master of dialogue and he proves it here, but the dialogue scenes are too long and take a little bit away from the movie. But it builds up to the chase sequence and it makes it all worth while.
In conclusion, GRINDHOUSE is a great show (if that's what you're into; if you're not, you're going to hate it). It's got guns, sex, drugs, and an abundance of nudity. It's violent and inappropriate in every way, and shows Tarantino and Rodriguez at the top of their game. The trailers are a nice touch, and if you're into the movies, it really doesn't feel excruciating sitting through this 3 hour 35 minute epic. If you have a taste for blood and hours upon hours to kill, GRINDHOUSE is definitely for you.