Looks like I disagree with everybody

Rating: 6/10 (6 April 2007)

I did think one film was much better than the other but I thought that the good one was Death Proof. And I'd really like it if these two would go to their own corners and make their own movies. This joined at the hip thing is getting old.
First problem, Rose McGowan can't act. Really pretty, can't act. Second problem, it's the same thing with Sydney Poitier. Now I know what you're going to say. It shouldn't matter. These movies are in effect spoofs of bad movies from genres that were better off dead. So they should have bad acting in them. Not exactly. You need to be able to act in order to act badly in a movie that is winking at you about how bad it is. Let's separate the two movies.
Planet Terror. I feel like it's a take it or leave it movie. I could have lived my whole life without seeing it and I would have been fine. Here you have a situation where the two leads, Freddy Rodriguez and Ms. McGowan are the least talented actors in the cast. Then you have a cheesy zombie movie that isn't cheesy enough. Why? Because it's not taking itself seriously. That's what made B movies so great. They really meant it. That's why it was so funny. The best work in this was from Shelton, Brolin and Biehn. And if we had stayed with those characters it probably would have been a more entertaining movie. I'm not really sure what purpose El Wray served and that was purposefully done. You see there are missing reels. Isn't that clever? I'm sorry but I think they're laughing at the fans with that. I know it's supposed to be the point but if those missing reels show up on the DVD, I'm right. So you lose interest in Planet Terror because it's boring and because you don't know what's going on. And then the ending was too over the top. B movies were B movies because they had welfare budgets and crappy directors. You could make a movie in that style without making a bad one. Actually for most of Planet Terror I sat there wishing I was watching Machete instead.
Death Proof. Started off slow because again it had Miss Thing and Miss Thang in it. Well at least we have further proof that acting talent is not hereditary. Okay, once they're dead, YAY!, Death Proof actually becomes good. I saw it as proof that this collaboration needs to stop now. Quentin is so much the better director that it can't help but be a lopsided movie. Now I think the reason everyone else likes Planet Terror better is because that movie had them in a certain mind-frame. Death Proof is completely different. It's much slower, obviously with lots of dialogue. You don't have to pay attention but your brain does have a hard time adjusting to the fact that people are no longer talking in fragments. So when the second movie starts you're probably not in the mood for that sort of thing. Kurt Russell does a great job as a demented former stunt man. He goes on a reckoning of some sort, don't know why, maybe it was in the missing reel. And I personally was rooting for his character although you weren't supposed to. Rosario Dawson was very good as usual and the other women who I don't know, I guess they really were stunt women, also did fine. And I normally hate car chases. I usually go potty or mentally check out when they happen but that was the whole point of this movie. And I found it completely interesting. I also loved the obnoxious bright red blood. That still gets to me about those old movies. The end was abrupt as it should be and even though it wasn't quite the ending I wanted it still was appropriate for what it was meant to be.
This is nothing anyone but the most die-hard fans of these guys or Grindhouse cinema need to see. Planet Terror is gross so if you have a problem with that I can't imagine you'd be considering this anyway. It gets a 5/10. Death Proof is a great chase movie with good performances from Rosario and Kurt. It gets a 7/10. Having said all that this is probably Tarantino's worst and middle of the road Rodriguez. See what I mean about QT being that much better? Maybe he should have done the Werewolf Women movie. And, by the way, I think Eli Roth needs to talk to someone.