Highly Uneven Experimental Film That Falls Short of Expectations

Rating: 5/10 (17 May 2007)

Rodriguez and Tarantino's "Grindhouse" is a highly uneven homage to ultra-violent exploitation movies. It is entertaining at some points, but it drags on tediously for long periods of time with needless exposition and unnecessary dialogue throughout its over-bloated bulk; this is especially true of Tarantino's half of the movie, titled "Death Proof." I suppose this movie is best suited for those inured to watching exploitation movies, as those who haven't may be highly puzzled by the film and will ultimately not enjoy the experience as much as those who have been used to watching such movies.
The best parts of the movies are, ironically, not the double-feature films, but the fake preview parodies of schlock horror movies. "Machete", "Werewolf Women of the SS" and "Thanksgiving" were excellent parodies, superior to anything that could be conjured by the minds of the most talented SNL writer. They greatly exaggerate the already exaggerated sex and violence one would see in a cheesy horror or action movie to hilarious effect. I loved the cameos by Cheech Marin and Nicholas Cage; they not only get to ham it up, but they seem to actually enjoy what they're doing.
And now for the not-as-good parts, i.e. the rest of the movie. Both films in the double feature suffer from special effects that look far better than anything a real exploitation movie might ever have had. If the point was to make the films look cheap, both directors failed on this account. Scratching the film negatives and inserting tongue-in-cheek homages to poor-quality films, such as "missing reel" notes and hiccuping film reels do not cover up the fact that this was, in fact, a big-budget movie poorly disguised as a camp film parody. Both movies also feature sappy love stories which detract somewhat from the blood-and-guts action that is supposed to be the films' main draw. One of the protagonists in "Death Proof", Cherry (played by Rose McGowan) seems too sensitive and emotional to play what was advertised as a gun-legged, tough-as-nails antihero. The actors also seem like they're actually trying to act well IN A REAL big-budget Hollywood action movie, rather than some cheap horror film.
I have two pet peeves about the second "Grindhouse" feature, "Death Proof," are more annoying than everything I have just mentioned. One, what's with the text-messaging in the movies? It serves no purpose at all, other than fill up screen time. I feel like I'm watching a T-Mobile commercial, for heaven's sake! Secondly, and more importantly, the inane dialogue amongst the female characters in the movie. it's just very boring and plods the movie to a screeching halt. I have no idea why Tarantino thought stopping heart pumping sex and violence with boring talk for more than half an hour would be a good idea.
Now for the good points of the double-features: the excessive violence. "Planet Terror" excels in this respect, with more slicing and dicing of zombie bodies than you could possibly imagine. One adjective I could use to describe "Death Proof" would be "gooey"; another would be "pulpy." Kurt Russel also does well as the evil Stuntman Mike, and its a terrible shame that he wasn't in the film more frequently.
I don't recommend this movie, as the bad outweighs the good. Still, I think it's probably worth the wait for a DVD rental---you can fast-forward past the boring parts, which sadly take up too much time.