Bubbly Melty Violence & Talky Girls = Grindhouse

Rating: 8/10 (11 April 2007)

I'll split the review up since Grindhouse isn't one movie. It's two! Double Feature Time Baby!
I'll start with Rodriguez's Terror Planet. You have many known actors in this film, including Bruce "10 Inches" Willis, Rose "No Nudity Anymore" McGowan, the tiny Freddy Rodriguez and the wise Josh Brolin, who plays his role as Doc Block the best. I'll simply tell you that it's a zombie/disease/sicko flick where an outbreak is taking place and people are rapidly turning into bubbly, pus-spewing maniacs. And let me tell you, the effects in this movie are awesome. Bubbly, melty flesh, head explosions/decapitations, hundreds of guns blasts....the movie is chock full of violence that any action/horror fan should dig. Unfortunately for me that is pretty much the only outstanding aspect of the film. The film feels very Hollywood and not very "Grindhouse" exploitative. You have some corny writing, some hard to believe moments (minor grievance) some over-the-top acting, which works, but most of the time doesn't. But how many people are focusing on acting anyways. Well I am, but you're probably not, since you're some type of retard. Anyways, to summarize Terror Planet up, it's a pretty nice time. If this flick didn't have such a plethora of unbelievable effects, it'd be tough to recommend, but it does, so I do, and it was good, so there.
Death Proof on the other hand is one of the most inconsistent flicks I've seen in a long time. Where Terror Planet had great violence mixed with care-less characters almost all the way through, Death Proof has care-less characters that talk you to death through cliché, rapid-fire banter too much of the time. It's very Tarantino-esquire, but it's not at the same time. Reason why I say this, is because I've enjoyed Quentin's dialogue's in the past. But this was almost ridiculous. Too further whine, the character played by Traci Thoms, was too much to take. Her cliché ridden character was so sh!tty and annoying it took my erection away.....you've got to see the tail in this flick. Phewy. Anyways, the mix of her acting/delivery and the "too cool" writing didn't work for me in the slightest. But I feel most people will eat this up, since she was so dedicated in her acting. Thank goodness Stuntman Mike, Kurt Russell's character is in this movie. Kurt's delivery in this movie is awesome, he plays the suave, badass ex-stuntman who's sick and tired of not getting laid. That's bad news for the first set of ladies that we met, who are again struck by the annoying bug, but not as much as the second group of hens. When Death Proof has Kurt on the screen it becomes a fantastic flick, but when he's absent it struggles to keep it's motor running, thanks to the motor-mouth babes. Maybe that's what they should have called it instead of Death Proof, Motor-Mouth Babes Meets Stuntman Mike....nah. Again, consistency issues arise and even the awesome character of Russell changes gears and you're left with a pretty abrupt and average ending....I almost said Empty Tank. But Death Proof, just like Terror Planet, has incredibly scenes (gotta give the nod to Zoe "She-Ra" Bell) and not so incredibly scenes. But again like TP, it ends up with some damage, but nothing that'll stop me from recommending it.
Grindhouse is different, unique, and one cool production...but, sometimes too cool for it's own good. You have two great directors who made two movies, that will be eaten up by the masses, one reason because it's unlike anything they've seen. And you got to take your hats off to them for at least making an attempt to pay homage to classic grindhouse flicks. I say keep it up, but next time, less comedy and more grit!
Terror Planet - 8 Death Proof - 7.5 Grindhouse - 8