"The Outsiders" on a Football field

Rating: 1/10 (9 July 2019)

A forgettable Romper Stomper clone, with Soccer teams substituted in for skinheads, and instead of a big mean intimidating Russel Crowe we get a wounded lame puppy-dog Elijah Wood (oh, he's a b*tch-boy who at the very end learns to stand up for himself. We've never ever seen that before - especially every coming-of-age. Ever.) Hooligans has the exact look, texture, and production value of a two-hour long British beer commercial. It's literally just worked up whities with nothing better to do than rough-housing, kicking Soccer balls and talking about kicking Soccer balls. So ground-breaking. So enriching. So enlightening. So uncommon. Clearly aiming for a high water-mark. Cheap hand-held no-budget (this movie is so poor, they apparently couldn't even afford anything imaginative) camcorder direct-to-video-quality "hey, let's make something just to make something" beige mediocrity. This movie is just an English take on 'The Outsiders' if they played Soccer. You'd have more fun just muting this movie and playing Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping" on a constant loop over it, singing along. "Wasting the night away" indeed.