Mind-bogglingly poor !

Rating: 1/10 (20 January 2006)

OK, lets face facts here - the 'football hooligan' genre film is not a particularly rich seam of cinematic history.
It's been attempted before, and no doubt it will be attempted again. However, on the back of this film, that won't happen for a long long time.
Where do I start ? The soap-opera plot, the terrible dialog, or the even more terrible accents ? It all becomes a swirl of badness after a while. OK - some of the acting is passable, I'll give you that, but the majority is laughable ! Check out the pantomime villain who leads the evil Millwall mob (boo ! hiss !) for details.
After watching this film, the first thing I asked myself was who this film was aimed at. (Not quite true - the first thing I wondered was 'How did this piece of pap get made ?'). Surely its not for the UK market (derision levels would be way too high) or the US market (who, for the most part, don't really care about football). After careful whittling, I could only come up with the idea that this film was made for people who like to look at Eliah Wood. That's it. You're not coming to this film expecting to be entertained, are you ? File this under 'Avoid like the plague'. And I sincerely hope Mr. Wood chooses his next film with more care - he is, after all, not a bad actor, but even a world-class heavyweight thespian would struggle with the diabolical dialogue in 'Green Street'.