Oh God, it's bad

Rating: 2/10 (23 August 2005)

This is a dreadful film, it really is. Where do I start? How about the fact that the 'daddy' of the firm looks about 22 and speaks with an accent that bounces from the Pennines to LA through old Oirland and back to Leyton within the space of one sentence? How about the fact that the plot is so full of holes that by the end you're not even complaining, you're just sitting there numb and waiting for the nonsensical twist in this soulless, bloody pantomime? How about the fact that it couldn't glorify football violence any more without having all the lead characters waving flags saying, "We Love Football Violence" and offering £10 to the first member of the audience to bottle the person in front? Without giving too much away, there is a fight scene near the end that is set to a kind of sub-Brothers in Arms folk song and portrayed in slow motion. Someone needs to have a word with the director and remind her that football violence is not some glorious war of liberation, it's empty pain orchestrated purely for the sake of itself. I assure you, dear reader, there is nothing glamorous about having bottles thrown at you.
Oh God, I hated it. It's so empty. I didn't even pay to watch it and I hated it this much.