I've Got A Splitting Hedachi...

Rating: 2/10 (15 November 2019)

The shills did a great job hyping this semi-mediocre piece of garbage - they must have been well paid.All filmed in the best tradition of state of the art P.B.S.(Pitch Black Syndrome),you can close your eyes and you won't miss a thing.Apparently there was some first rate gore for the hounds and anyone breeding vampires but who would have known..? The members of the 'Ain't Rights' wear Minor Threat and Dead Kennedy's T-shirts just so we know they're real legit punk rockers but they're all as dopey and harmless as the Mutants from San Francisco once were.Patrick Stewart doesn't register.Pat (Yelchin) with half his arm sawn off by now, feels no pain but instead gets a romantic interlude with the new, disease infested punk rock girl of his dreams, whilst contemplating the universe and curious paintball memoirs.Another small runtish dog seems to have wandered onto the set by accident.Its all yet another over-hyped crashing bore, designed for high adrenaline thrills but more likely to provide migraines from squinting through the darkness to try and decipher who is doing what to whom.I really wish this fake, dishonest brand of movie making would stay in the can where it belongs.Someone in a review somewhere made favourable comparisons of Green Room to Romero's Night Of The Living Dead.How low can you go..?