What did I just watch?

Rating: 4/10 (4 June 2019)

I came into this movie with high hopes. I love Patrick Stewart, and hearing his wife call this 'the scariest role he's ever played' was very intriguing. I had heard about the gore, and the intense atmosphere, and I even managed to go into the movie without seeing any trailers or reading any spoilers. I was pretty hype for a movie that could keep me up at night and make me see Stewart in a whole new light.
That is certainly not what I got.
It started a little slow, but that's to be expected with a lot of thriller/horror pieces so I gave it a break at the beginning. Things picked up a little once everyone was trapped in the green room, and I was still on edge for the moment when crap would hit the fan. The gore was as impressive and subtle as promised, the setup was nice and smooth, and the acting was actually pretty good too. Still had some high hopes at this point.
Patrick Stewart shows up. I'm ready to be intimidated and menaced. He comes in to sleaze his way into disarming the protagonists and dips. Good start. Still waiting for some real action, but we're getting there. At one point I paused the film to grab a drink, still anticipating a breaking point or moment of clarity for some character or another, and lo and behold, I'm halfway through the movie already!
I know what this means, and the disappointment sets in quick, but I manage to sit through the next half of the film. Literally nothing happens. Patrick Stewart has almost no presence, and to be honest neither does anyone else. We don't learn anything that would endear us to the characters or make us identify with them, so it's not much of a big deal when they die. Or when they win. The ending so anti-climactic that I actually rolled my eyes when the credits finally ran.
There are some good things about this film. The premise is good, the acting is believable, and the effects are fantastic. The way they presented and used the gore in this film is almost tasteful in a way; graphic, but not super gratuitous. Also the dog. The dog is really the best thing about this movie, and *SPOILER* I'm glad he lived at least to the end, though he is more than likely to die later.
After all the hype and positivity around this, I really wonder if I watched the wrong movie. I don't see any of the suspense, intensity, or masterful direction that so many other reviews rave about. Maybe I'm just not the audience this movie was made for? As a horror fanatic and lowkey gorehound, I wouldn't think that was the case. Maybe I need another watch to "get" it? Possibly, but I really don't see myself rewatching this one ever again. Oh, well. ¯\_(-.-)_/¯