Not even close to best picture of 2019

Rating: 5/10 (21 March 2019)

Just like how Crash (not Cronenberg's version) poignantly and blithely reminded us that being a racist can have unforeseen negative consequences with respect to our ever-intertwining lives, theoretically more so now that globalism is at a fever pace, so, too, does Green Book help us understand that despite our different backgrounds, socioeconomic status, and indeed even skin color, life is not fair and if we can change just one person's attitude, then also behavior, by ingesting two-hour flicks, it's almost certainly a win-win situation.
Viggo Mortensen eventually slides into his role as rough-tough-with-a-heart-of-gold, who inexplicably frowns down on olive pimento cheese sandwiches after eating a bucket of fried chicken, but let's not try to poke holes in the plot because it solves racism, homophobia, and class struggle by the finish, like a neatly wrapped Christmas gift, waiting for us to open it with gratitude and majesty.
Mahershala Ali does his best to not invoke imagery of Miss Daisy, but I think we all know how that turned out (he won an Oscar for not invoking imagery of Miss Daisy (or Arthur, for what it's worth)). Yet in retrospect, one cannot help but imagine Sylvester Stallone in Mortensen's place, or even Ralph Macchio, neither of whom would have had to affect themselves with a New York Italian accent.