It's a disaster, in the sense of not a space wreck, but a train wreck

Rating: 1/10 (23 December 2013)

I'm brain damaged watching this. I thought I was getting used to wearing two pairs of glasses in a bid for the visual impact and everything 3D films pack, but they apparently were much too obsessed with packing this baby with copious amounts of debris ripping your retinas scenes. I loved them, and I walked out of cinema stuffed to the gills and feeling queasy. Huge portions for bulimic audience are made not to whet your appetite, they are ruining this otherwise alright movie because they wanted this baby so larger than life that it appeals to all palates, like on the spur of the moment they kinda decided a woman with some extra platinum vaginae are hotter than lesser chicks.
Of course their decision set off a chain reaction as implausible as the one caused by Russian satellites in the movie, they expect everything to work fine in the form of traditional sci-fi from last century, as if space walk is still conceptual and space stations are not floating in orbit. The jokes they cracked would have worked fine if it were at least set in the near future. Don't mess with what's already public knowledge courtesy of the media, such as that they do receive intensive training before going up there, and few of the complex maneuvers are carried out to the accompaniment of shopworn banter.
And they are basically two insipid word spewers who talked till everyone else died and talked some more: "I miss my daughter who committed suicide at four cuz she couldn't take more of my constant nagging" and Clooney went "I have flirtatious eyes, we are running out of time and oxygen, but I'll ogle you some more". When Clooney died, Stone freaking talked with herself and woofed to dogs down there via the radio, getting only lukewarm response from them, apparently they don't like a heavy breather who barked like an asthmatic Labrador.
However, for those who said no one see objects moving faster than bullets, you do see supersonic aircraft. They didn't defy all physical laws, and there are some redeeming factors, still it's undoubtedly a space wreck film for train wrecks.