Gravity. It gets you down. This film certainly does.

Rating: 1/10 (4 March 2014)

This film is not even worthy of a review, but in protest to yet another railroaded Oscars, I have been compelled enough to write this, to warn people about the dreariness of Gravity, and voice my incredulity how this undeserving film ever got a rating of 8.2. NONPLUSSED is probably the best way to describe how I feel about Gravity, and not I a good way.
Taking on the "stellar" reviews this film has had, I decided to go and see what all the hype was for myself. It now has the unremarkable accolade of being one of the very few films I have ever walked out on in my life.
People complain about this film being scientifically inaccurate, but that is besides the point. This film is boring. BORING. Nothing remotely interesting, surprising or thrilling happened at all. Chomping your way through a loaf of plain brown bread is less tedious than this. It is just George Clooney and Sandra Bullock as two astronauts floating in space while being battered by debris storms that they can precisely predict when they are going to happen. Not only is this film tedious, they want to sap away any sense of suspense too. George got bored halfway in and decided to leave, and I took his example, and ejected myself from the theatre too soon after. Sandra reading an instruction manual from a foreign abandoned space station with no effort was the last straw for me.
This film left me fuming. Not only was I angry that I had wasted an hour of my life before I saw this film for what is was (garbage), But also I knew that this film would shoot to fame and ubiquity. Gravity does not even deserve 1 star. It probably doesn't even deserve 0. How this excuse for entertainment, how this Gravity has shot to critical acclaim and won a handful of Oscars is completely beyond me. Then again, if a film only has 1 or 2 actors in it throughout the majority of the film, it is automatically and mindlessly showered with praise and awards - see The Life of Pi, 127 Hours and other similar trash. Everything about it is terrible. It doesn't deserve a single minute of your time. At least they were actually bearable enough for me to make it to the end.
The list of dubious winners of Oscars from previous years is endless, but even they are better, and that really is saying something. Unfortunately, this year, the Awards have been disgraced by this detritus. I cannot say how indescribably cheated and annoyed I feel about this film. And nonplussed. I just hope you have the sense to give up on it long before I did.