Ouch

Rating: 1/10 (4 October 2013)

I was so very excited to see the movie, especially after seeing all the glowing reviews.
Are you people nuts? This movie sucked. Didn't anyone explain basic physics to Cuaron, or how simple orbital mechanics work? Next time hire a first year physics student from any university to explain how things in space work.
Stop reading if you don't want to know about the easily predictable and totally not a surprise "spoilers".
But lets ignore all the "it could never happen that way" stuff and just look at the movie. This had all the excitement, tension and emotion of Jar Jar Binks.
Even at a mere hour and a half, and lets all thank our lucky stars they didn't drag this dish rag out any longer, it was BORING and PREDICTABLE. Clooney was smart, he got his character killed off early on, so he could collect his paycheck and leave orbit before people with a couple of brain cells watched and labeled this a stinker.
I can't believe all the drooling reviews - did we watch the same flick - or are the rest of the reviewers publicly educated dolts that are easily distracted by shiny objects? The CGI is good, which is why I can't imagine that not one of the CGI geeks didn't speak up and say "Hey, you do know this sucks asteroid balls right?" since most computer geeks are at least familiar with basic astronomy.
Of course they threw in that whole dribble about how Bullock's character lost her child - sniff, I'm over it - that was important - except for wasting like 12 boring minutes of time - how? The delusional, dream, obi-wan back from the dead, moment where Clooney climbs in and didn't immediately kill her with explosive decompression was another ginormous Huh? moment.
And on and on and on (can I please have the fire extinguisher of infinite delete vee please).
Wait till this lemon is out on Blu-ray so you can ooh and aah over the space CGI for a couple of minutes and then fast forward thru the astronomically high number of improbable, yet boring, scenes.