(sigh) What am I missing?

Rating: 4/10 (11 November 2013)

This is getting ridiculous! How can everyone and their neighbor see this flick as a "masterpiece", but I'm left, yet again, deciding if I should spend money any time soon on another big screen show? Keep in mind that my rant is not intended for those, planning to see the movie, as spoilers are aplenty!
Space has been a magnet for my interest/imagination for many years, so I've seen countless hours of TV documentaries, NASA footage and movies. Seeing Earth from far above, is always a treat, but not enough to be the center of my attention for another two hours. People awkwardly floating and bouncing around in open space, have long since become as exotic, as scuba divers. In other words, there wasn't much "new" in the setup. I do appreciate the meticulous work done to create something artificial that represents the real thing so well...but that's just the background. What was there to see on the stage? Well, nothing. As strange as it sounds, there was nothing to see! The main point of this "movie", is to show us in ridiculous detail the stress, pain and misery a survivor goes through hundreds of miles above the surface of the planet. The characters are as anonymous as those on the NASA TV channel, and rapidly disposed of. Sandra's character gets all the screen time, so it gets to make at least a physical impression. No emotions stem at all, however, spare for pity - her only child is dead, her life down on Earth is pretty much empty and now she's getting this brutal treatment up in space. She is so frustratingly clumsy, as she fails to grab and hold onto all but the very last sticking out objects (eventually you learn the pattern, so you can predict which antenna or cable will save her from doom). Good thing is her grip becomes infallible, whenever she is being tossed around by violently opening latches.
Once you get used to her "I'm so helpless in this nightmare!" attitude and after you are comfortable with the camera's tireless efforts to REALLY show you how nauseatingly disorienting it feels to spin in space, you should try to make peace with the torturous soundtrack. It makes you pay for every moment the director demonstrates how quiet space is. Since ears naturally get more sensitive in silence, you are forced into a cheap trap, as you feel physical pain, when the grotesque and pompous sound returns.
Speaking of annoyances, few more things should be mentioned - the villains of the movie - the fast flying debris, which, thanks to the 3D-boosted realism, make your eyes flicker far too much. On the list is also Clooney. George got the "He was only a week away from retirement" veteran casualty role. As predictable as they come - experienced, cheerful leader, ready for the ultimate sacrifice 24/7, dying on his last mission, to save...whoever is left to be saved.
The movie is a kindergarten level survivor guide, teaching you how to calm down, think/talk about something other than the traumatizing reality and, of course, "Never give up! Never surrender!" The funny thing is that so many critics called this nagging lecture "annoying" in "After Earth" (which it was, along with the entire movie), but in "Gravity" everyone gave it standing ovations. All there is worth experiencing out of this mess, could have been extracted into 20-30 minutes. The rest is an hour-long series of Sandra's panicked face and frantic breathing, which she is reminded again and again to be a known waste of oxygen. You see her crying in 0G...then her floating tears get in focus...then her crying face again...(yawn)
Basically, this is a train wreck in slow motion - lots of crude machinery gets smashed and death inevitably follows. It tries so desperately to squeeze emotions out of the viewer, that it's just soaked in well tested clichés. I guess, I'm just not the right type of public to enjoy monster truck shows...or "Gravity".