It's fantasy, folks, not a documentary

Rating: 4/10 (3 June 2014)

I am also a nerd and I agree with all the nit-picky complaints about irrational features or unscientific details, but they are not enough to ruin the movie if you recall WHAT IT WAS INTENDED TO BE. Please allow me to explain. Would you criticize a Mazda Miata because you can't bring a set of table and chairs home in it? No, it makes a lousy pickup, but it was never intended to be a pickup truck. Judge the movie for what it was INTENDED to be, a fictional account, not a spaceflight documentary. Would you slam a western movie where the sheriff is at full gallop, chasing the outlaws, yet manages to shoot them with a handgun from the back of his speeding horse? Would anyone over the age of 9 years believe that? Why don't we pick of the Harry Potter movies or Lord of the Rings. They are full of mind-stretching details.
I could cut them enough slack on all that if the movie had a real plot, if the screenplay had any believable characters, Unfortunately, it has neither. However, the most annoying feature of all is the thunderous music/soundtrack. Cuaron begins the movie describing the total silence of space, except for radio talk. Floating loose from your ship in dead silence would seem more eerie and frightening. But movies need music and this director and composer have resorted to a cheap trick. You can build movie suspense by hammering the audience with loud, dlscordant music, but then it is the noise that makes us tense and uncomfortable, not the action. I actually had to turn it down during the loudest scenes--I did not want to injure my 2 dogs hearing!
I did get one smile though. When Bullock finally made it into the Soyuz capsule and floated weightlessly while removing her space suit, it reminded me of Barbarella, that AWFUL sci fi spoof from the sixties. This may be the worst sci fi spoof ever made and it doesn't even try for scientific veracity, but the opening scene is justifiably famous. Jane Fonda opens the movie floating weightlessly and removing each part of her space suit just like Bullock, revealing her rather amazing 30-year old birthday suit. No, I am not asking Sandra Bullock to do the same.
Overall, a thin story that is being used to show off their skills at cinematography and computer generated action. Admittedly excellent but the movie is "all hat and no cattle".