Eeny, Meeny, Miny, NO!

Rating: 1/10 (25 October 2013)

I anticipated watching a good space movie for a change until I saw who wrote and directed it - Alfonso Cuaron. I knew then I should lower my expectations considerably. Somewhere below Carpenter's "Ghosts of Mars".
It's all about internal consistency. This movie makes no claim to being science fiction, it purports to be a realistic scenario, yet it violates physical laws and disregards current facts at will. The Law of Inertia only seems to apply to the minds of the writers and director. This spinning junkpile is really a fancy vehicle for Alfonso Cuaron to make a not-so-subtle philosophical statement against science (that is, assuming he wasn't just trying to make another roller-coaster video game movie like "Children of Men").
Everything in the movie points to science as being dangerous and incomprehensible to commoners like Sandra Bullock (even her protective suit eventually turns against her and tries to drown her), and that we are better off wandering through the forests in our underwear (or preferably naked... but I doubt if Sandra would agree to that). In Cuaron's world all these Machines are out to kill people. Science Bad! Cuaron Smash!
Yes, it's the inconsistencies that make movies look bad. But the investors will be happy, most of the critics and movie-going public do not have enough practical scientific knowledge or critical thinking skills to know that "eeny, meeny, miny, moe" is not the correct module separation and landing sequence in Chinese space station escape pods.