'Gravity' : the force is not strong with this one

Rating: 3/10 (24 November 2013)

Despite the hype - for me 'Gravity' crashes to earth with a dull thud.
The opening sequence to this film (widely regarded as the trailer) is actually rather good.
It's good if you cover your ears to avoid the TERRIBLE dialogue that begins almost immediately with George Clooney nattering with his old pub mates back down at ground control, while Sandra Bullock struggles to fix a computer board or re-initiate a boot drive system or something or ANYTHING that gives the writers a reason to put these people in harm's way in space.
Add to this a piece of appalling casting by making the token non-American crew member arse about in the background (on a supposedly serious government funded space mission?!) and do a Macarena in space, and THEN try and make you feel sorry for him NOT because he just got his face knocked off by space junk BUT because he had a picture of his FAMILY... Seriously Hollywood - people WITHOUT families are STILL people!!!!!
Aaaagh.
Nuff of the caps. Gravity has enough problems in the first five minutes that when they begin to unravel it sets off a chain reaction with bits of badly developed plot smashing into desperately under-developed characters and resulting in a tide of unrealistic science and clichés which encircle the earth, and every 90 seconds make unwelcome returns to the screen.
WHY OH WHY put Sandra Bolluck in the driving seat. At least in Speed we were led to understand she hadn't driven a bus before. Instead here we are forced to believe she's undergone an entire SPACE TRAINING programme.
Even as a doctor back on earth she admits she kept dropping stuff - so why let her use a MASSIVE DRILL - in SPACE?
The science is incorrect but despite this I was looking forward to the development of the idea of an out of control chain reaction of destroyed satellites causing a kind of space tsunami of debris... It would have satisfied my hype gland sufficiently. Visually it would have been exciting, and it's a novel plot idea.
...But NO. We can't have that. You can't kill Sandra Bullock in space. There are LAWS against it.
The writers of Gravity were too scared to take a step into the void and instead turned the remainder of their film into a heroic survival tale, replete with courageous hoots and patriotic speeches (albeit the sort of ones one makes to oneself in moments of crisis in burning up space pods).
Then the film ends and I go looking for the vodka I stashed somewhere in the car. No wait, it's illegal to drink and drive...
Damn, THAT wouldn't be a problem in SPACE.
Poor. 3/10