Bad everything. Acting, Story, Tension, Science.

Rating: 2/10 (27 March 2016)

I do seldom write reviews about films because I think it is each and everyone's personal opinion. This time was different. I want you to save money by not buying this masterpiece of BS! But to keep it as professional as possible I'll keep myself calm from now on.
Gravity's 5 minute (felt) opening scene is well made with the voices getting louder and louder the closer the spacecraft gets. Well this illusion of good filmmaking ends when the catastrophe starts to develop. So, you want to tell me that a single Russian missile destroys a Russian satellite and then the debris of that satellite are destroying every single remaining satellite in the entire orbit?! HUH?!!!
Those debris somehow begin to accelerate to 180000 km/h (?!), hit the space shuttle and Sandra Bullock gets shot into outer space where George Clooney manages to catch her with his rocket bag?! Ah yes. He manages to connect their suits with a rope and pull her back to the shuttle just to discover that their 3rd crew member's face got penetrated by the debris.
The movie continues to deliver one evitable catastrophe after the other. Every time a simple task or movement or tool can be dropped/lost/failed etc. it happens. This continues for 60 minutes without a pause.
Just to show you what I mean by scientific incorrectness: 1. You can't catch somebody shot into outer space with the maneuvering jets of a suit. 2. When your spacecraft explodes or gets bombarded with debris, you can't just tow your girlfriend a mile to the next best space station. There are thousands of miles between them in real life! 3. If the modules of the ISS explode you are fu**ed, OK?! You don't just shut a door and everything's fine. 4. If the parachutes of your satellite or whatever are connected to another object hindering you to fly to the Chinese space-station, push the damn release button!
Now let me summarize the film how I perceived it:
Space-flight -> catastrophe -> space-flight -> catastrophe -> space-flight -> catastrophe and that 5 times more.
What you get is an overly sarcastic Clooney with a annoyingly hysterical Bullock and a lot of face-palm-catastrophes alongside with scientific incorrectness. 90 minutes of sheer face-palm action.
THIS MOVIE IS THE BEST EXAMPLE THAT $100M, 2 (normally) HIGH QUALITY ACTORS AND A BUNCH OF Hollywood MOFOS CAN PRODUCE A PIECE OF SH** THAT IN TURN PRODUCES $730M Over-hyped BOX OFFICE AND GETS THESE RETARDS THAT CALL THEMSELVES CRITICS BEYOND HEAVEN WITH THEIR PRAISING WHEREAS EVERY NORMAL SPECTATOR AGREES THAT THIS IS ONE OF THE WORST "SCIFI" MOVIES EVER MADE!
Sorry I just can't keep myself calm. Don't WATCH IT OR PAY FOR IT. I thought 7 Oscars that must be a great film and after 15 minutes I felt like 'Sh**, punching my head against the wall the remaining 75 minutes is better than watching this.'
Look at Chappie. Nearly everybody I came across who watched it said it was one of the best films they had watched in a while because it plays so much with your feelings and in general is a very soon to be ScienceFact. What did the critics say?! 'Ohhh that cheap little south-African director with his south-African band and the oh so monotone dialogs and shallow story.' Are you kidding me?!
Guys I'll leave it as it is. Sh** film. Spend your time doing nothing and the time is spent better than by watching this film you will just want to punch your face through the wall.