Gravity=Depravity

Rating: 1/10 (1 November 2013)

There are movies I don't like and there are movies I hate. I hated Gravity.
The 3D glasses didn't seem to work, so I watched the movie without them. The music was an abomination: loud, trite, sentimental, and manipulative. Clooney was mediocre; Bullock, appalling. I haven't hated an actress so much since I saw Laura Dern in Inland Empire.
There's a crucial part in the movie in which Bullock's character, a medical engineer, is overwhelmed, exhausted, and gives in to her inevitable demise by cutting off the ship's oxygen. The movie would have been OK if it had ended then.
Instead, thanks to the opportune appearance of a ghost, she survives. She, in fact, survives one crisis after another aided by more Dei ex machina than you'd find in a Taiwan factory which manufactures plastic Jesus figurines for your dashboard.
There are more crashes and explosions than in the entire series of FAST AND FURIOUS; more noise and banality than on Fox News. And some memorable mawkish clichés: my favorite is when Bullock's character, alluding to her dead 4 year old daughter, asks that the ghost tell her that mommy loves her.
Don't go to a movie theater to see GRAVITY. If you must see it, wait until it comes to Netflix. You'll waste less money and you can verify the inanity of the dialogue by replaying the scene.