Utterly Worthless In Every Respect

Rating: 1/10 (13 April 2012)

I love the game of hockey and perhaps that is one big reason I saw a complete lack of anything positive in this movie. Whereas "Slap Shot" told the story of minor league hockey (admittedly with some over-the-top humor) and "Youngblood" the story of a hockey player who wanted a shot at the big time, "Goon" tells neither a story nor illustrates it in anything but vulgar, obscene clichés. "Goon" is an insult to movie-making and the sport of hockey. Even the game scenes are poorly done and unbelievable (such as the player telling the on-ice officials not to interfere with a fight).
Not much of this movie makes sense. Someone not familiar with Canada or hockey would walk away thinking Canadians are vulgar, bloodthirsty cretins whose only interest is watching WWE-type brawls on ice when they are not replacing their native language with the worst foul-mouthed cussing I've ever heard on screen - virtually all of it unnecessary.
If the intent of the movie-maker was to tell the story of a hockey goon, and there are such people, he fell incredibility short. If it was to tell some sort of love story (the goon falls in love of course) that goes by the wayside as well.
I couldn't find a single thing in this stinking morass of a movie to like. It is crap like this that gives the sport of hockey a black eye.