Gone with Duh Misery

Rating: 7/10 (12 April 2006)

Yes, I know! Gone With The Wind is considered a classic! The first time I saw Gone With The Wind was when the wide-screens hit the theaters and they had stereophonic sound, and when I saw Gone With The Wind around this time, they advertised the movie would have a stereophonic soundtrack but, of course, it would still be shown in its original screen size. It wasn't until years later that they redid the movie in a sort of 75 mm widescreen process using this earlier stereophonic soundtrack. Very impressive, even though the heads were chopped off, somewhat, in the viewing!
Well, poor Katy Scarlett had more twist and turns in her life which equaled the twist and turns of Erica Kane on All My Children, and after almost four hours of Gone With The Wind, what did Scarlett learn? Not a thing! She should have taken the prophetic words of her father when he told her that the only thing that meant anything was Tara and, especially, the land, before she went out chasing after Ashley and Rhett Butler with no success. Vivien Leigh played Scarlett like a grown up Shirley Temple who never grew up, and as far as her southern draw in the film goes, this was no problem. When the English first came to this land, they were up north and up north it gets so cold that they speak rapidly and when they migrated to the south, they spoke very slowly, and all Vivien Leigh did was draw out her English accent which made her sound like she was born and bread in the South! And what was also amusing was that after Vivien Leigh was chose to play Scarlett there were some catty remarks from southern women that at least no Yankee would play Scarlett! Can you just imagine Bette Davis and Errol Flynn playing Scarlett and Rhett?
This is probably one of the greatest Soap Opera's ever put on film, and what Acadamy Award Oscar Wining lines?
SCARLETT: Fiddle Dee Dee! GERALD O'HARA: It's I'm proud to be Irish! SCARLETT: War, war, war! PRISSY: I can berth babies! SCARLETT: Fiddle Dee Dee! RHETT: Has the war begun? SCARLETT: Sir, you've no gentleman! BELLE WATLING: It wouldn't be fit-tin'. SCARLETT: Fiddle Dee Dee! MELANIE: Oh, Scarlett, how I envy you! SCARLETT: Oh, Fiddle Dee Dee!
SCARLETT: After almost 4 hours in the movie theater: "Ashley, why didn't you tell me you didn't love me!" Uh! Pardon me? You mean, after almost 4 hours of movie time, Scarlett didn't know this, and decided, right there on the spot, that she really loved Rhett, but didn't know it? Well, the little user of men's flesh, just couldn't make up her mind, and it's a wonder that at that moment she didn't break into song singing "I'm Just A Girl Who Cain't Say No!"
Now, what puzzles me, and really amuses me, is why any red-headed sexy Sounthern Belle, like Scarlett O'Hara, would want to not trap some handsome man like Rhett Butler who just happens to look like Clark Gable, and not do everything possible to trap him and keep him! Scarlett had to be nuts! Let's face it, Leslie Howard was not that handsome for anyone to want to live with forever, and besides that, he and Melanie were cousins; and they got married? Was Scarlett nuts, or not? Well, maybe a little psycho! Give up Glark Gable?
I will, though, admit that the end of the first act where Scarlett vows that her kin-folk, and especially her, will never go hungry again, is a powerful scene and worth sitting through. especially since you're sitting through all the nonsense of her chasing after Ashley, ignoring Rhett, and facing the Yankees in the Civil War, plus Melanies birth of her baby, makes this scene worth it! Of course, Rhett was right when he said, "God help the Yankees if they ever captured her!"
So, when I finally saw the end of the film, I wanted o destroy the projector and the theater for such a silly ending, and there's Scarlett still living in her dream world that she would go back to Tara and think about a way to get Rhett back which at that time was really very unrealistic, but not to Scarlett acting like a grown up Shirley Temple still living on the Good Ship Lollipop! But, at the end, Rhett summed up the whole thing when he said, "Frankly my dear; I don't give a damn!" And that's how I felt when I finally got a chance to leave the theater! Of course, before the movie ended, this would have been a great time for Scarlett to break out in song and sing "The Man That Got Away", or maybe re title it "The Men That Got Away"! And, of course, no one would realize that many years later, one of the Tarleton Twins, George Reeves, would end up playing Superman on the television series. He couldn't make it as an actor, but he sure made it to the top playing Superman!
Years ago, the British turned "Gone With The Wind" into a musical, and Rex Reed panned it and said that it was so bad that at the end of the 1st Act, the horse on stage did something to show what even he, the horse, thought of the production and the 1st Act curtain lowered! Remake "Gone With The Wind" today? What a tragedy that would be! Who would they get to play Rhett? Danny DeVito?
Now, years later, I have to admit that I do appreciate the movie more than I did years ago seeing it as a teenager, but these very long movies only teach you one thing: When you go to a movie that's going to run for 3 to 4 hours, make sure you take with you, your lunch, a toothbrush, and a fresh change of underwear!