Agatha Christie for the Internet Generation

Rating: 1/10 (11 March 2015)

The mumbled and unintelligible dialogue lost me for the first ten minutes, but I gave it a second chance as the mystery developed. The boring characters were just about bearable as the plot began to twist and turn. But Affleck and Pike were so cold and mysterious, even with each other, that it was hard to like either of them. So where was your emotional engagement here? Only Margo was remotely interesting. This film also had some of the least erotic and downright odd sex scenes ever filmed. This was a film of two parts. The first part ran through all the clichés of the detective thriller. But we were cheated in the second part when the villainess inexplicably got away with it. In Agatha Christie books, when the killer makes a mistake and has a sudden change of plans this is usually their undoing. As things planned for the original crime stand out like sore thumbs in the adapted scenario. Then they get caught. End of Story! In this particular tale it was the diary. Why would Desi have taken it to a house he didn't know existed, and fail to burn it properly, when he could have burnt it in seconds in the fire at the crime scene ? The cops would have seen through that in seconds, and then the rest of her contradictions would have unravelled. What about the attempted purchase of an illegal gun ? The purchase of the car, the credit card purchases of the electronic toys, the puppets, the Treasure Hunt clues ? None of which could be attributed to Desi, so someone else must have organised or staged them. And just who was supposed to have tipped off the cops to the woodshed ? All non – sequetors that made no sense in the end. Columbo would have had her in the slammer long before the final reel. But the cops just let her off ! The non – examination by the medics of the blood covered Pike was utterly ridiculous. This hospital must miss lots of wounds as they simply don't look for them. Don't let me get taken to this sloppy hospital if I get run over ! She would have had none of the injuries from the initial kidnapping, but a mysterious venepuncture wound on her arm, both of which would have lead the cops once again to think the kidnapping had been staged. We also got treated to homages to Fatal Attraction and The Hand That Rocked The Cradle were the female lead had to be totally insane, not just confident and calculating. This is the old 'male gaze' all women are evil psychos drivel being rehashed for a new generation and we can do without it.