Basically one really long joke about marriage

Rating: 3/10 (10 October 2014)

There's really very little to like about this movie unless you are new to movies and haven't seen directors work a camera before... Like all of David Fincher's movies there is a decided like of real substance. He tells stories with visual and auditory gadgetry. Some people are probably wowed when the director calls attention to himself with an endless array of moving shots, weird angles, and quick cuts, that end up basically turning a movie into a long commercial spot. While it doesn't quite go on forever, it does seem long when sitting in the theater, and that is because honestly, not a whole lot happens in this movie. They get a horse to run (OMG she's a crazy b*** of a wife!!) and then they kick it and beat it to death...
So... Fincher starts off the movie by constantly swinging the camera around, and of course, while keeping everything perfectly framed, he IS a master at this you know! (And don't you ever forget it!)
Yeah, yeah David, congrats, you've mastered film school 101. Good for you.
The whole movie is predictable, absurd, and comes across as some sort of listless metaphorical commentary on marriage.
Oh, that IS literally what it is. The idea that in marrying someone you are destroying yourself. And that you have to go through a variety of spiritual convulsions before you finally understand what it is you want in life. I GET THAT! Why that needs to be told amongst scenes of wine bottle self rape, or ejaculation while throat slitting, or any of the other absurdities presented to the viewers in Gone Girl is a mystery that only lasts as long as it takes to tally up the $$$.
Here's a metaphor from the movie:
WOOD STOVE = HOT VAGINA. She puts her DIARY in her WOOD STOVE and BURNS IT. But NOT completely, just singes the edges. AND everything in the diary is a lie.
GET IT?!?!!?
Anyway, have fun watching David Fincher's latest self-commercial!