Gone Girl helps me cope with the loss of my cheating ex-wife

Rating: 8/10 (6 October 2014)

Gone Girl is a film based on Gillian Flynn's best-selling novel about a couple whose marriage is on the rocks when the wife mysteriously disappears. The husband then becomes a prime suspect in her disappearance. David Fincher pulled off another great feat with this cinematic experience. Gone Girl is high up in the ranks of best Fincher films. The dark feel he adds to his movies works well with the feel of this story.
Ben Affleck plays the great and very relatable protagonist Nick Dunne. He wanders around trying to find his missing wife while simultaneously thinking through his marriage piece by piece. His character reminded me of myself slightly at times because I have been through the same experience he was going through. The story hit really close to home. One day I too came home from work and found that my wife had gone missing. We had been going through some rough spots before then as well. I looked around the house and called her name but she was nowhere to be found. I checked in her closet, and all of her clothes were gone. I peeked in the garage and found that my wife's car was also missing. I tried her cell phone numerous times, but there was no answer.
Suddenly, it was clear to me what must have happened. An intruder must have broken into our home, kidnapped my wife, stolen her clothes and personal belongings to sell for cash, and then used her car to make a quick getaway. I immediately called the police and told them of my wife's kidnapping. They responded within a matter of minutes.
Some detectives came to our house and took a quick look around. They took notice of the fact that all of her belongings and car were gone along with her. One of the detectives asked if we were having any marriage troubles as of late. I told them that we had, but we still loved each other very much. My wife had been putting us into a lot of debt by putting a great deal of motel room charges on our credit cards. It was beginning to become a burden.
The detectives then proceeded to ask why she was spending money on motel rooms. I told them about how she bought them so that she and her friends, Sally and Marge, could have a private place to play bridge. Sometimes they would play bridge well into the night I told the officers. They inquired whether I had ever met "Sally" and "Marge". I told the officers that no, I had not met them. My wife wouldn't let me talk to other women. She always said that talking to the opposite gender was a gateway drug to what the kids these days call sexual intercourse.
They asked if she had any close male friends. I told her that she had become good friends with my best friend Charles over the past year. I'd known Charles since college. When I got married, I encouraged the two of them to get to know each other more. All three of us would hang out occasionally, but then about 9 months ago they would sometimes hang out and forget to invite me. I didn't complain, though. I just thought it was great that my sweet lovely and my best pal were getting to know each other.
The detectives then asked me if she had just started to play bridge in the last 9 months. I told them yes. She said she needed to socialize and find a new hobby. Both of the detectives looked down at the ground and sighed.
Then they told me something that would blow my mind. My wife and Charles were doing the no-pants dance together. Bet you didn't see that coming. Well, neither did I. At first I didn't accept it. "Your wives are the ones having sex with Charles!" I yell back at them. "Not my wife! She's just a big fan of bridge!"
The detectives tell me that they're sorry, but it is the truth. I begin to bawl uncontrollably. I fall on the ground and roll around in my puddles of tears. "I took her to see a Cee-Lo Green concert last year!" I scream. "Does that mean nothing anymore???!! After awhile, the police get tired of watching me roll around and decide to leave me lying my pool of misery.
What could my wife see in Charles? Sure, he has a great physique and world-class dong (I had gym class with him), and I have saggy tits and a plethora of sores covering my skin. But isn't love supposed to be more than appearances? Love means appreciating the Cee-Lo Green concert tickets I buy for her. Love means being impressed by my samurai sword collection. Love means being grateful for that I took a vow of abstinence on our honeymoon because she believed that if we even held hands we would both get AIDS. I guess those things were just too hard for her
Now, it is three years later, and I am doing much better. I now go to counseling five days a week. My therapist told me that it might be beneficial for me to buy a pet to keep me company. I took his advice and I bought a cat. I named him The New and Improved Charles, and he's my new best friend. Right now, I'm teaching him to play the piano like that one cat on that YouTube video. I think he might be the next Beethoven!!!!
In conclusion, I guess I'll just say this is a great movie. It brought back a lot of dark memories, but it's totally worth it. Oh yeah, and if you see Nancy Logsdon, AKA my cheating ex-wife, tell her I hate her.
Sincerely,
blakelogsdon1