Boring, Ridiculous and Shallow

Rating: 1/10 (7 March 2017)

I read the book and absolutely despised it, mostly for its cookie-cutter characters and the bizarre overuse of sexual dialogue coupled with an incredulous mystery that was more silly than engaging. I was hoping maybe the film would be a bit of an improvement but nope, not a bit. If anything the film is worse. Too many long, dull and badly-lit shots, too many stupid and weird lines ("cool girl presents her mouth for f*cking and shaves her p*ssy", what the hell?? Now there's one quote that you won't see up there on the 100 Best Quotes Times Magazine List!), too many characters who you wanted to strangle, from the psychopathic yet pathetic wife to the whiny busybody nerd friend. A serious lack of imagination and a serious injection of pretentiousness that just comes across as very annoying more than stylish. Somehow this waste of Kodachrome (or whatever film stock they used for it) has an 8.1/10 rating, higher than masterpieces like "The Killing Fields" (1984) and "Christine" (2016)? How on earth did that happen? Is the review system rigged? If not completely horrible, Gone Girl is at best terribly overrated. I was not a fan of most of the actors' jobs in this although I think they were just trying to work with whatever material there was. The soundtrack is totally unmemorable and boringly flat, as flat as the characters and scenery. Gone Girl could have been something better than this, but it tried too hard to be profound and ended up just coming off as shallow, petty and pointless.