Bljak

Rating: 1/10 (30 May 2014)

It made my sick. Stupidest of the stupid. It really insulted my intelligence. I may never watch Hollywood production again.
Every character, from the wise but ignored token Japanese bloke, to the soldier's wife whose sole purpose is to wait at home to comfort him, is a dull Hollywood cliché. Unlike the viewers, the film believes its characters are fascinating enough to merit the laughably corny near- death and family- reunion scenes towards the end. Instead, the audience is left laughing in bemusement at the overly sincere expressions on the protagonist's face as he threatens a giant monster with a handgun. Whenever Godzilla and the insects finally begin to fight, before anything happens there's an instant cut to yet another tedious shot of US soldiers shouting about nothing in particular. The film's sole purpose is to showcase the might of America's armed forces and ability to survive under a crisis; and it doesn't even do that well, given that the navy can't even tell when Godzilla is swimming directly under their ships. Of course, setting the story in Godzilla's homeland of Japan would not interest American viewers, so the monster decides to swim across the Pacific Ocean in order to wreak havoc. No doubt Godzilla will receive acclaim from morons due to its high-tech but utterly unimaginative animation techniques. However, this film's cutting-edge CGI does not justify its lack of plot, excitement and meaningful characters.