Utterly contemptible

Rating: 1/10 (15 May 2014)

This film has no plot. I wouldn't have an issue with this if instead they had filled most of the two hours with scenes of Godzilla destroying things and killing people. However, the monster himself receives a pathetic amount of screen time, only appearing halfway through the film after the plot has already focused its attention on two giant bugs. They are unimaginatively designed, have no basis in Japanese mythology like the titular monster, and their only purpose seems to be to diminish the impressiveness of Godzilla. The character development in this film is non-existent. Every character, from the wise but ignored token Japanese bloke, to the soldier's wife whose sole purpose is to wait at home to comfort him, is a dull Hollywood cliché. Unlike the viewers, the film believes its characters are fascinating enough to merit the laughably corny near-death and family- reunion scenes towards the end. Instead, the audience is left laughing in bemusement at the overly sincere expressions on the protagonist's face as he threatens a giant monster with a handgun. Whenever Godzilla and the insects finally begin to fight, before anything happens there's an instant cut to yet another tedious shot of US soldiers shouting about nothing in particular. The film's sole purpose is to showcase the might of America's armed forces and ability to survive under a crisis; and it doesn't even do that well, given that the navy can't even tell when Godzilla is swimming directly under their ships. Of course, setting the story in Godzilla's homeland of Japan would not interest American viewers, so the monster decides to swim across the Pacific Ocean in order to wreak havoc. No doubt Godzilla will receive acclaim from morons due to its high-tech but utterly unimaginative animation techniques. However, this film's cutting-edge CGI does not justify its lack of plot, excitement and meaningful characters.