Never thought id miss Matthew Broderick

Rating: 3/10 (20 May 2014)

I never really write anything about films I've seen. I walked out of The Spirit and had to sit through the hell that was Apollo 18 so I've seen some crap in my time.
I went into Godzilla thinking it would wipe the floor with the 90s Hollywood version. Im not a big old school Godzilla fan, never seen any of the Japanese films so I cant really compare but I will mention a few things that, for me, made this film crap in my view.
1. The bomb that they set up and then tried to disarm. I distinctly remember hearing them say "remember the bomb that went off back in the 40s, well this one will make that look like a firecracker". On hearing that I assumed, if this bomb blows up, its gonna be huge. It did blow up....about half a mile from the helicopter that saved the main character..... no one seemed to be affected by this massive nuclear explosion.
2. The actors. The main Character was heroically, less believable than if they had Rowan Atkinson take the role and use his Mr Bean persona. You had no connection with any of the characters, except for his father in the first 30 odd minutes of the film, who dies soon after.
3. Humour. There was no humour in this film. It was played straight all the way through. This film is about a nuclear powered giant lizard hat rises from the ocean to save mankind as it is being attacked by 2 giant bugs. Yet the whole film is so serious, i felt depressed after it.
4. I know people are moaning about Godzilla only really having about 10 -15 mins proper screen time and, to be fair, I have to agree. The film is called Godzilla, not "The guy from Kick Ass". People say its to build tension....but why? We have all seen Godzilla before, if not in the old Japanese films, at least the 90s Hollywood version, so there is no tension to build. We know what he looks like and know what he is, we know his back story so why not have him do something we haven't seen before (in a Hollywood version anyway) like have him destroy cities as he fights monsters for most of the film. But then that's partly due to problem 3, too serious.
The only thing have to say is that the CGI is brilliant, ill say that for it. Other than that, if you want to see massive monsters fighting and destroying cities......and i cant believe I'm saying this.......watch pacific rim.