Never let your teenage son pick the movie. Never.

Rating: 2/10 (25 July 2014)

When you do, you are bound to wind up sitting through 2 hours of the hell that is "Godzilla". I saw it a couple of hours ago and if you put a gun to my head, I couldn't tell you the plot. Am I losing my mind or could it be this freaking movie has no plot? Don't be fooled (as I was) into thinking if Bryan Cranston is involved it could only be so bad. Good old Bryan chews the scenery for about 10 minutes and then dies. So now we have Ken Watanabe. For you viewers who haven't played our game before, Ken is Japanese. That's cool. Only you can't understand a word he says. Sally Hawkins merely looks worried and confuses anyone who has seen "Doc Martin" because she looks exactly like the actress who plays Louisa. Elizabeth Olsen. I don't know what to say about her except "gak". She can't act. At all. Fortunately almost all her scenes have her with the same dropped jaw expression on her face. The leading man has no character. At all. I couldn't tell if he was trying to save the world or fight for our right to party. And for all you pro-lifers out there, prepare yourselves for a pretty awesome abortion scene.
Think of the children. Keep them away from this travesty of film-making.