*Picks up receiver*

Rating: 4/10 (28 May 2014)

"Hello, is that Trading Standards? I'd like to complain about a film I just saw. Can I speak to someone in authority? Okay, I'll hold..." *Generic track starts playing*...
30 MINS LATER
"Finally! Yes, you can help me. I've just returned from the Odeon having seen a motion picture called Godzilla. £9.40 it cost me... £9.40!! That's enough to feed a family of four... or more importantly, my DVD budget for one weekend. What a rip-o... Oh okay, I'll get to the point.
" "Thing is, it's CALLED Godzilla... but we don't see much of the big guy in it. At all. Apart from the final reel. Until then, they expect to placate us with two moth-type creatures the design for which looks like were stolen from the Alien movies. Are these an effective enough substitute? Do my snores lie?" " Apart from the underexposure of the central lizard, I must say I'm also sick to death of the usual disaster film staples: Such as the old man who must die, the cute dog who must survive, the wife who does nothing but cry while watching news reports, the kid who's sole purpose is to be put in jeopardy for the plot (there are two of these) and our hero. Man, what a guy. He has the personality of a WET PAINT sign, and does nothing but run around stating the bleedin' obvious. A cardboard cut-out could've done the same job as Aaron Taylor-Johnson... and would've been much cheaper too."
"So basically what I'm getting at is... could I have a refund please? Not only for the blatant untruth, but also because I wasted two hours of my life on this dull crud... two and a half if you count this phone call. What? You say that's not your department? You'll transfer me somewhere else?! NNNOOO!! I'll give you Have A Nice Day you f..." *Generic track starts up again* 4/10