Good 'n' Terrible

Rating: 4/10 (21 May 2014)

This film involved a bunch of stories about characters that added nothing but boredom to a film that didn't need all that. Bryan Cranston's character seemed to be developing into the brains behind mankind's ability to survive the unthinkable. That disappointingly fizzled into nothingness. The ONE thing he discovered was not something the scientific minds that had been studying the situation for umpteen years could figure out on their own???! What?? Ken Watanabe spent the entire film looking bewildered, shocked, and/or confused. His assistant was even more useless. Then our leading man, the hero...I'm still trying to figure out what he did and what made him worth following around for near two hours. In a Godzilla movie, I mean. He did ONE really cool, smart thing...that had no effect on the overall monster problem. The rest of the time he was just as confused and helpless as everyone else. He was an upstanding serviceman and I would never count a real man of that stature any less than a hero. But in a Godzilla movie what about him made him worth filming more than any of the other military officers fighting to save humanity?? I got sick of watching Godzilla swim! After the first TWO times-dope as it was, they overdid that mess. They didn't even properly insert Godzilla into the story. They talked about him and then he just showed up swimming. We didn't get to the fun until the very end. And the stuff leading up to it was not worth while. NO COMIC RELIEF!! NONE! It was so dry, I started to get cottonmouth! I actually remember a moment in my mind thinking, "my goodness, I'm bored. Am I...surely there must be something wrong with me. Am I in a bad mood? It can't be the movie's fault. Surely not." But alas, it was. I had little expectations, but I expected to enjoy myself in some kind of way. This script was so unoriginal and lacking I started fantasizing much better lines and performances characters could have delivered in real time. It's as if they copy and pasted a few Hollywood clichés because they needed to kill time so that they could get away with spending all their resources and efforts on graphics. That might explain the lengthy list of virtually unrecognizable cast members. They even killed of one of their top billers 20 minutes in. Cheaper cast makes way for more expensive graphics I guess. They put no thought at all into this billion dollar prank, while somehow over-thinking it. The story about the monster issue was all they needed and that would have probably produced a better film!!
The good about this film: There was little to no profanity. I can't even recall if there was any. There was no sexual content. Like...none. I was extremely impressed. There was a short moment shared between a husband and wife and, where Hollywood has conditioned me to expect it, the over-indulged sexuality did not follow. Lastly, the graphics were excellent.
All the same, I've never watched a movie with so many anticlimactic sub-stories. It really had some great moments visually, a couple action-oriented sequences were great. But man...oh man...somehow they managed to bore me. And I don't bore easily. They should get some kind of awards for that...boring me in a Godzilla film with Bryan Cranston and Ken Watanabe takes some actual skill, I think.