A Monster Mistake

Rating: 3/10 (4 June 2014)

First off, I went into seeing this being a fan of the ultra-campy Japanese Godzilla films. I don't really know what I expected from this new movie. What I found, however, was extremely disappointing.
There were plot holes bigger than Godzilla himself, who, by the by, has a minuscule amount of screen-time and is presented as almost a good-natured "hero". Furthermore, they kill off the only two characters with any shred of substance within the first-half hour. The other leads are pretty faces with no personality. The effects weren't nearly as good as I anticipated-and I'm sure rubber-suiting it would have been an alternative that would have made me considerably happier.
The only nods to the original film and its Japanese folklore roots are blink-and-you-miss-it. There's flash of the word "Mothra" (which I hoped meant that Mothra would be Gozilla's foe in the film, but alas, no.). Then there's Ken Wantanabe muttering "Gojira" with a painfully worried look on his face that does not change the entire film.
Adding further insult to injury, I FELL ASLEEP. I have never, ever, fallen asleep at a movie theater before. It was dark and chilly, the seats were comfy, and the movie was boring, so hey, who can blame me?
All in all, I found it to be a total waste of time and money. Hate on me all you choose.