What was all that about?

Rating: 2/10 (11 October 2014)

We have the 1998 Emerich Movie for reference - but in the wake of all recent Ocean Trench Monster blockbusters one would have expected something of a higher caliber than what was on offer. The final half hour was so tedious that I actually nodded off. You say that 192 thousand people have so far given that movie an average rating of 6.7? I'm completely astounded, or was that the average age of the voter? We, the genuine, easy-to-please movie buffs do not really care who stars in these adventure movies as long as they have been well cast, scripted and acted, also provided the plot is gripping with plenty of dazzling special effects and suspense. I settled down in the evening to be entertained for two hours, but my first look at the Monsters was a jaw-dropping, unqualified disappointment. They resembled rather "Gismo-y" modern architects' knock-ups of new, low-rise office buildings that somehow - wait for it - had sprouted a pair of wings! They did not have a patch on the blood-curdling, Japanese inspired Godzilloids. One more thing: the creatures seemed to exist in a completely separate dimension to the Humans, with death and collateral damage the result of an intersection of two planes, with civilization the unintended victim. The Human/Monster interchange was a bit like trying to explain emotions by radio to person with severe autism trapped in a tunnel. Environmentalists, as you know will always have their ten-penny-worth, here with our human race being taken to task over insecure nuclear installations, and very reluctantly, it must be said their futile deployment of nukes against an invincible foe. If you wanna get conscience don't bother looking for it beneath a white skin, right? There were also the obligatory moments of intensely annoying, Fabian references worked into the plot, i.e. that humans will never win against Nature, with Human artifices, together with their religion irrelevant in the "bigger political future". Will we ever get tired of Lefty's philosophies in film-scripts? When the producers ask for the money to finance new movies they presumably do not go to Communist Cuba. All in all then, un-entertaining, unconvincing and without a drop of "je ne sais quoi" or charisma. I was really bowled over by "Commissar" Emerich's "2012", so perhaps that was a difficult act to follow. This one, must have run out of gas.