Lamezilla

Rating: 5/10 (19 May 2014)

All I can say about this movie is that I was really disappointed. After a while I couldn't wait for it to end so I could express my disappointment and apologize to my girlfriend for making her sit through it. I am a casual fan of the Toho Godzilla franchise and while I acknowledge the stupidity of grown men dressed in monster suits trashing toy cities I enjoy these films immensely. The human back story became progressively loopier as the series progressed and I longed for a Godzilla film that would deliver the monster goods while providing characters that I cared about.
I had high hopes for the 1998 "Godzilla" that has been the scorn of fans and critics since its release. The movie is pretty bad for many reasons, from the horrendous performances of the cast to the awful design of Godzilla. While it was stupid it did deliver some pretty good action sequences and provided the mindless entertainment associated with the genre.
Which brings us to the 2014 incarnation of "Godzilla" in the era of making fantastic stories seem realistic and having flawed heroes battle their inner demons while failing to embrace the absolute awesomeness of being super. I am so sick of all these "dark" fantasy films that want to make a serious statement while avoiding any sense of fun. This film would fall into that category. It's about ridiculously enormous monsters destroying things! Godzilla should be about entertainment not addressing our disdain for nature; a topic that's been beaten to death in better films than this and one we have to see in the news every day.
As for this particular film I was disappointed by numerous things. First of all too much time is devoted to the MUTOs and not enough to the title character. In fact Godzilla is not on screen that much at all; several times the action cuts away just as a fight is about to start and instead of witnessing destruction we only see the aftermath. While this technique can be affective it occurs too often. There are some impressive shots and a few awe-inspiring moments but for the most part the film focuses on the human characters.
The second problem is the aforementioned humans. They are poorly drawn with minimal back story and about whom we care nothing for. It is impossible to be emotionally invested in any of them because they are all so colorless. The plot is nonexistent and is sewn together by Aaron Taylor-Johnson who somehow witnesses nearly every major happening in the movie. It becomes comical how he consistently dodges death while everyone around him gets wiped out.
Another huge issue I have with "Godzilla" is the performance of Taylor-Johnson who is a cipher in the center of the story. To be fair he is given little to work with but his performance is maddeningly awful. He is neither courageous, heroic, funny, or resourceful; just lucky. An absolute blank slate. Veterans like Ken Watanabe and David Strathairn, who are usually a joy to watch, are defeated by the trite dialogue and inane script. The only actor I enjoyed was Bryan Cranston and that is probably because I'm biased: I think he's fantastic. If he was the star his presence alone would have lifted the entire film.
I am still waiting for my ideal Godzilla film that provides interesting characters, a solid plot, and thrilling action sequences. If you are interested in giant monsters (and/or robots) grappling with each other then "Pacific Rim" is the gold standard. As for Godzilla films, watch the original Japanese version.