Gladiator - simply a terrible movie (SPOILERS)

Rating: 2/10 (8 May 2000)

I must admit that I'm very surprised at how highly everyone seems to regard the movie "Gladiator." What I don't understand is why. Personally, I think it's a terrible movie. I won't even bother detailing its numerous historical inaccuracies. To do so would require a book. For those of you more historically inclined, suffice it to say that the movie combines elements from the reins of Julius Caesar, Caligula, and Commodus. Indeed, the Emperor actually portrayed in this movie is more like Caligula than anyone else. Some of you may consider this to be a minor point but we are talking about a span of 200 years. If this were equated to modern times, you would get a scene where Abraham Lincoln takes Air Force one and flies back to Washington. 200 years is 200 years. But, as I promised, I won't get stuck on the historical inaccuracies.
What makes this a terrible movie to me is the stupid plot. In the beginning of the movie, Commodus has no problem riding into the camp of a powerful general. Seeing as powerful generals often seized power in ancient Rome, this would seem to be an exceedingly stupid thing to do. Next he kills his father, Marcus Aurelius. No one seems to care or suspect. I guess they were more stupid in those days. Next, Maximus refuses to shake his hand, signalling no support for the new Emperor. Of course, because everyone in those days must have been stupid, Maximus does not feel his life is in danger and takes no immediate steps to protect himself. If you believe that people from the past were dumber than what they are now, you can accept these glaring mistakes but I can assure you that people back then were not this stupid.
Now Maximus is seized from his tent to be executed. Where is his army? Here is the general who was adulated by his army but, suddenly, his army is nowhere to be found. Next, Maximus overcomes not one but 2 armed executioners. Of course, they had no idea that they had to be careful with the condemned man because they were more stupid in those days.
Next comes the confusing part. Maximus has been wounded in Germany. Somehow, he makes it all the way to Spain in a couple of days. (It must've been a couple of days because he's still bleeding!) The only explanation I can offer for his having made it so fast from Germany to Spain on horse is that his horse must've been a Porsche. (He was in Germany after all.) Then, somehow, we find him in Africa. I won't even ask how he got there.
Things get even better from here on in. First of all, the gladiator fights are so vicious and brutal that if this had been true historically, Rome would have run out of gladiators very quickly. Of course, our hero Maximus is in reality Superman, who somehow made his way to ancient Rome before coming to metropolis. It's not enough for Hollywood that Maximus never loses. Not only does he never lose, but he can defeat upwards to 10 men at a time as long as they are obliging enough to approach him one at a time. Maximus can also wrestle off Tigers. Like I said,- Superman.
Then things get really ridiculous. The Emperor, who previously ordered Maximus' execution, suddenly decides that Maximus is too popular to kill now. He had no problems trying to execute him amidst his own army where Maximus was tremendously popular, but now he fears the mob of Rome. We keep hearing how the real power lies with the mob so I guess it's understandable that the Emperor fears those bakers, millers, and stonemasons more than Maximus' army. Alas, the poor Emperor Commodus. The most powerful man in the world simply is unable to kill this invincible gladiator Maximus. Like I said, Superman.
Finally, the Emperor decides to take things into his own hands. He will kill Maximus himself in a gladiator fight. Never mind that Maximus can take on 10 professional gladiators at a time. The Emperor will take him on. Of course, he gives him a little stab wound to even things up. I like equating things to modern times. So, the president of the United States, unable to rid himself of a dangerous adversary who has somehow become heavyweight champion of the world, decides to challenge the champion in a boxing ring after having administered a drug. This is what this movie would be proposing if it were set in modern times.
As I said, I cannot understand why people think this is a great movie. If you believe people were more stupid in the past, then maybe you can accept the pap that this movie is offering as a plot. I personally thought the plot was written for children. And even though I haven't dealt with the historical inaccuracies, believe me when I say they are constant throughout the movie and they are also ludicrous. However, many a movie has managed to achieve excellence, despite historical inaccuracies. Gladiator is not one of them.