The Single Worst Film I Have Ever Paid To See In The Theater

Rating: Null/10 (28 June 2003)

This movie was so bad that I was shocked (shocked!) Mel Gibson wasn't cast as Maximus. It would have fit neatly into his resume right next to Braveheart, Patriotheart, & 'Namheart (Romeheart, perhaps?). The overwhelming & endlessly blaring score; the Keanu-like verve with which Russell Crowe delivers his poorly crafted & overtly cliched lines; the endless wheat, wheat, wheat, wheat (we get the symbolic value already!) ... to make a gladiator movie so flat & boring is quite an achievement. Ridley Scott ought to have gotten his Best Director award for Alien or Blade Runner, not this overblown gust of hot wind. I am sick with disappointment over this farce. I only thank God that the Academy has, to this point, not compounded their glaring error by rewarding the possibly even more boring, overrated, & completely charmless film versions of Tolkien's magical novels...