Where's the Roman bath?

Rating: Null/10 (14 May 2000)

Except for the combat scenes, Gladiator is really lame. It took 3 writers, including director Ridley Scott, and the plot still has all the tension of a busted rubber band. You know the picture's in trouble when Hans Zimmer's soupy score has to be playing 99.9% of the time. Principal characters like emperor Commodus and his sister stand around pouting and plotting what to do next and relapse into animal fables on the meaning of power. Yawn! And here's where the film makers really missed the
boat: with a hunk like Russell Crowe as star, they didn't contrive one scene in a Roman bath! You'd think a slave who becomes a sensation overnight would be treated to a Roman bath! But, then again, the film itself takes a bath.