I'm terribly vexed.

Rating: Null/10 (24 February 2001)

Best Picture?? Best.... Picture?? One more time: BEST PICTURE???
If this thing wins best picture, I'm going to strip to the tunic and loincloth and protest outside the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, and trust me, nobody wants that.
I mean, have the nominators actually seen the movie? Since when does cheesey, intelligence insulting popcorn fodder like this disappointing movie win anything better than an award given out at the separate ceremony for technical achievement? The acadmeny has let me down before, no doubt about it. But at least the academy has always rewarded "good" movies, even when you felt a better movie was robbed. Forrest Gump shouldn't have beaten Pulp Fiction, but at least Forrest Gump was good. Same with Shakespeare in Love beating Saving Private Ryan, or Ordinary People beating Raging Bull. But if Gladiator wins, I think it will be the first time ever that a "bad" movie wins the top honor. I can't even recall a "bad" movie even getting nominated before.
Let's not kid ourselves. Gladiator is a bad movie. I know the special effects were great, and you paid 8 bucks to see it... I know Gladiator does the whole action/violence/sword-swinging-epic thing better than a lot of its competition. And I know you've been saying it was a good movie all this time, so to make the admission that it was bad now would be to quietly admit that you've been watching a lot of bad movies and wasting a lot of money and time. But for God's sake DO IT. Admit it. You'll feel better.
Normally I'd let this go. People watch it, they like it, what's the harm? A little mindless afternoon entertainment for a small fee. But when the industry leaders prepare to give this thing the top honors for the year, then we've got to take a stand. You need to find your nearest Academy voter, look him right in the inebriated bloodshot eye, and tell him that if he votes for this stupid movie, he deserves to be tied up and beaten with bamboo.
I won't bother defending why I think it's stupid. All the reasons should be utterly apparent to anyone who's seen it.