Standard Action Film meets Costume Drama

Rating: Null/10 (8 September 2003)

A truly APPALLING lack of male nudity for a film about ancient Rome. Really. Why else does one rent gladiator movies but for to get lots of good gore & sinewy doomed slaves oiling each other up while clad in naught but metal miniskirts? Resounding disappointment there, Ridley.
Even the gore itself was disappointing, although there were some rather good mid-air splatters. The editing during the fights was very odd-- the blood looked stroboscopic, fast-motion, as though someone were rushing to get through the fight without focusing on any scary bits. It is possible to have a really good unflinching bloody fight without pandering to the goremongers, but that line isn't reached here.
I quite liked Joaquin Phoenix as the screwed-up little emperor... His eerily pathetic performance was the only one that stood out. Phoenix's costume was nice. The scenery was nice. That exquisite bald Nubian, first appearing naked in the slave-market, was a definite mitigating factor. The historical accuracy was questionable but not atrocious.
But overall, this flick struck me as "Lethal Weapon" without explosions. Upstanding white man with super fighting powers; works for corrupt governmental body; wife & child killed; This Time It's Personal; etc. Just substitute the LAPD for the Tribunal, and you've got this movie, already made.