Like a cheap chocolate Easter Bunny: pretty package, but hollow

Rating: 5/10 (13 February 2001)

There is a scene in Gladiator where Maximus is eating with a couple other gladiators. One is Juba, the man he befriends almost immediately after getting captured; and the other is the really big man (I'll call him Big Guy), I am not sure of the name, who Maximus refused to fight earlier, while the gladiators were, I presume, getting evaluated on their skills. In the scene Big Guy asks Maximus about his days as being a general. He asks if he fought in Germania, and Maximus responds, and I apologize for not having the exact quote, "I've fought in lots of countries." Something to that effect. When the question was asked, I thought to myself how interesting it would be if Big Guy had lost family in Germania. When you think about it it was a terribly odd question for Big Guy to ask. It became a distraction. I kept waiting for the great climax of the film, when Rome is safe and secure with Maximus finally being able to retire, when along comes Big Guy to do what none of the Romans could do: kill Maximus. And why not, I figured. After all, there were families killed in Germania too, right. Unfortunately nothing came of it, and I don't think I am giving anything away when I say that Big Guy eventually gets shot with arrows (despite the obviously apparent safety vest underneath his tunic). O.k. So I am giving something away, but he is a very minor character, as it turned out.
I only mention this delusion of mine because I think it says something about how hollow the script was, and what could have been. I mean, we had already been given a possible subplot during the "evaluation scene" when the two men give each other very serious looks, to put it mildly. I thought that this subplot would have given the film what it dearly lacked: something worth saying--perhaps a comment on violence in our society, how the brutality of war effects people on both sides of the battlefield. Frankly I would have liked to have had it happen. It would have made the experience much more enjoyable. Of course, the F/X still would have looked kind of cheesey, and the battle scenes would have been confusing and, quite frankly, poorly executed; but what a turn it would have made. Only a handful of people (possibly those who had long since gone bonkers) would have seen it coming. Instead of this we get nothing really. Just an especially brutal film that has nothing serious to say about anything.