Period pieces can suck too?!?!?

Rating: 4/10 (23 February 2003)

Emperor vs. Gladiator in a battle to the death. Live Sunday, Sunday, Sunday at The Collesium. Come one, come all. Price of admission will not be refunded if this film sucks.
Oh My Holy God, why couldn't you inspire this man Ridley (Riddle me a munch ass) Scott, to make a film that makes sense? What is this supposed to be?
Russell Crowe what did you do? Mr. Romper Stomper, Mr. L.A. Confidential? Why God Why?
Hey I got an idea let's make a modern version of this film.
Let's get President Bush in a steel cage against That serial sniper guy. That seems like a logical thing for a man of great political power to do.

Oh My God!
Is this the end?
Why did Maximus die? Why did he have to die? Oh this is tragic? Nothing has been more tragic in film history since Earnest bumped his head in "Earnest Scared Stupid".
This is a tragedy. Let's bite each others toe nails and give this an Academy Award.
(applause)
Wait I meant for Best Puketure not Best Picture.
Why does this keep happening.
To be continued...with Ridley Scott's next bomb!!!!!!