Death takes a Roman Holiday

Rating: Null/10 (15 May 2000)

The Germanic forest is dark and foreboding, packed with two armies braced for battle just before the onset of winter. Backed by a score with lashings of Holst's Mars - Bringer of War and dabs of African war chants lifted from the movie Zulu (really), the barbarian hordes assail the Romans in Wagnerian combat. It's all quite magnificently done, and so is the post-battle speeches between Emperor Richard Harris and Russell Crowe.
Indeed, as far as summer movies go, there are many moments and performances to like in Gladiator -- Oliver Reed's final performance as a gladiator merchant, stoic and powerful Crowe, a villain with complex motivation, technology-stretching computerized visions of the Eternal City and some awe-inspiring sets and cinematography -- so why did I want it to end?
A couple of reasons, actually. There's the my-rump-is-getting-sore-and-this-doesn't-really-need 155 minutes problem. Plots and intrigues in dungeons and alleys that swerve on for too long and don't lead anywhere. There's an over-indulgent hand at the tiller towards the end, as the epic bathed in grey and fatalistic sentiments struggles for an ending - and finds two or three that don't really satisfy.
And there's that troubling speech from the moral senator played by Derek Jacobi - the one gnawing at me through most of the movie. What kind of people were in this mob that would come to see the spectacle blood and death for entertainment? But was he talking about the Romans in the coliseum or the mob in the multiplex? Ridley Scott is a tremendously talented visual director, and he offers human butchery that looks like a Chanel commercial. With whiplash editing, art deco warrior masks and chariot crashes that sound like atomic blasts, the carnage is pitched to be irresistible - and it is until you start thinking about it. Basically, it's the same kind of hypocrisy DeMille offered - blood-lusting sequences with elephants crushing people and bulls goring slaves, all vindicated by good Christian outrage in the final scene. Gladiator isn't played as a straightforward adventure flick a'la Conan, it strives for more weight and pathos. But while the director heaps on the nobility in the unlikely finale, he's served up plenty of blood and guts in the first 150 minutes.
Is it worth seeing? Given what is in the trailers it may be the only choice you have for a few months. Would I see it a second time? Thumbs down.