Not the jewel everyone is looking for

Rating: 5/10 (7 November 2004)

Battlefield Earth still gets my vote for the worst movie ever (beating out Waterworld hands down). But this has to rate close to it. People, this movie is bad. It has no sensible dialogue, Joaquin Phoenix is miscast (he would've been strangled the next week by the praetorian guard), and Crow is slipping in his choice of trash. We're not even going to ask for historical accuracy (by the way, there isn't any) since that would be either too much or too confusing.
No character in this movie had any depth. I am still curious how the whole legion did not notice the absence of their "beloved" general. I am lost at how a man who went to France ended up in a desert on a cart. I am amazed that at first this man doesn't care about anything, then he wants revenge, then he doesn't, then he yells at that queen, then.. you get the point. And after that, a slave owner who sent people to their deaths dies with "honor" on his lips. Then, a woman who stood by and did nothing while her brother was slaughtering people is preaching to the good citizens of Rome the merits of honor and justice (she preached to the crowds that came to see people be decapitated). The contrasts of good and evil were so well defined, that no three year old will be confused.
This movie must rate high with audiences, but so does Scooby Doo. If you like the mental twists of Scooby Doo, you'll like this movie as well.