Behold! Braveheart with that cop from L.A. Confidential!

Rating: 8/10 (28 May 2000)

If there's one thing that gets to me while I browse through movie reviews, it's pedantic, bitchy rants about "historical inaccuracies." I'll be honest--SCREW HISTORY! You don't go to the movies for a history lesson; you go because you want to scarf down popcorn while seeing two people kick the flying crap out of each other! Intelligent movies are the ones you watch at home... with the exception of Gladiator. Sure, some people can say that it's all action and not much else, but compared to the rest of the action epic crop, Gladiator pumps the most brain power out of all of them. Name another action movie this year that makes you wanna go "ick" at Commodus' incestuous advances towards his sister. Name another action movie this year that almost brings your critical ass to tears when General Maximus comes across the ashen remains of his old life. To end it all, name a Roman epic that tops Ben-Hur and Spartacus in spectacle, and you have Gladiator. Sure, Kirk Douglas would beat Russell Crowe into a body cast, but I'll go with Ridley Scott's prettier, CGI-powered Rome. And it's by DreamWorks, which is always a good thing in my book.