Unleashing Helle.

Rating: 8/10 (6 March 2009)

Truly GLADIATOR is the stuff of great fiction; a story so well-orchestrated and superbly told, there might well have been in Roman history a general who became a slave, a slave who became a gladiator, a gladiator who defied an emperor.
But - as they used to say in ancient Rome - "only in Hollywood..."
Russell Crowe is Ancient Roman General Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of a fierce and loyal army that has conquered the known world under Emperor Marcus Aurelius (regal, world-weary Richard Harris). Maximus plans to retire to his olive gardens with wife and son, but the sickly Emperor has other ideas, bequeathing Maximus the stewardship of Rome over that of his natural-born son and rightful heir, the fey Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix). When Commodus discovers this slight, he cries a little, promptly kills his father, arrests Maximus, and gets progressively feyer.
Commodus then invents the James-Bond-Batman-Death, that is, don't kill your nemesis quickly and efficiently in full view, order your incompetent men to take him somewhere and probably kill him if he doesn't use his dangerous ingenuity and superior combat skills to escape. This also guarantees you are completely in the dark as to whether your enemy is dead, until he appears unexpectedly somewhere and vexes you.
This Maximus does, defying Commodus and leaving him terribly vexed.
Thereby arriving at Part Three of the slogan. In the interim, Maximus discovered his family was crucified by Commodus, which caused Maximus untold Academy Award-Winning Acting, subsequently collapsing in the desert and taken into slavery. The Gladiator merchant, Proximo (Oliver Reed, gravel-throated, rheumy-eyed - his last performance before going to that great arena in the sky) handpicks the indifferent yet lethal Maximus to join his stable of gladiators (which includes neighborly Numidian, Djimon Hounsou and man-mountain Ralf Moeller). Proximo scores a gig at The Coliseum, for the pleasure of now-Emperor Commodus.
As Darth Vader thoomed, "The circle is now complete."
There were arena skirmishes before this one, but the Coliseum "Carthage reenactment" is the grandest rock star battle for Proximo's now-renowned gladiator troop, inspired and led by Maximus, as stirring and blood-pounding as BEN-HUR's chariot race. GLADIATOR's raucous, blood-glutted battle scenes are fitting successors to the "realistic" warfare of BRAVEHEART and SAVING PRIVATE RYAN.
"Are you not entertained?"
His helmet disguising his identity, Maximus rallies "his" gladiators to defeat the lethal Imperial chariot-riders in the arena, to the surprise of Commodus, who wishes to meet the upstart who would not even salute the throne, let alone die conveniently for the public's pleasure. Maximus reveals himself to Commodus, who is driven to remarkable heights of feyness.
Discovering Maximus is alive makes not only Commodus weak in the knees - so too his sister, Lucilla (Connie Nielsen), who pined for him back when her father the Emperor owned Maximus's taut butt. Her betrayal of Commodus sets in motion the third act, steeped in politics of reclaiming Rome as a republic, and therefore losing some of its verve.
Beautifully filmed, in ocher tones and burnt umber (by director Ridley Scott and cinematographer John Mathieson), GLADIATOR nabbed Russell Crowe a Best Actor Oscar - even though Joaquin Phoenix did all the actual acting! Crowe pulls the Bruce Willis for most of the film, while Phoenix's sway-tilt emotions are a disturbing rainbow of subtlety.
Phoenix's performance is absolutely stunning - that of a weak man, filled with disillusionment, contempt, envy, indecision; conflicting emotions constantly dancing across his face, flickers of smiles when we know he wants to cry humiliation, edging tears when we know he would rather lash out like the simple animal he is. It is Acting of a caliber few writers or directors could even describe, let alone trust an actor to convey.
"What we do in life echoes in eternity."
Well. maybe, depending on what eternity you're talking about. For all its awe-inspiring action and chest-beating man-sweatiness, GLADIATOR has its faults: writers David Franzoni, John Logan and William Nicholson can't figure what ancient civilization they're writing for. These are ROMANS, boys. So when Maximus pep talks his men at the very first battle "...if you find yourself alone, riding in green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled, for you are in Elysium - and you are already dead!," his troops should have replied, "Excuse sir, but isn't that where GREEKS go?"
In his prayers, Maximus appeals to a "Blessed Father" - Jupiter? Janus? GLADIATOR pulls no punches when depicting the slaughter of countless of god's creations, yet is too gutless to depict polytheism. Especially in the Lead Actor with the Oscar push.
When Maximus prays to the effigies of his wife and son and the Numidian asks, "What do you say to them?" he answers, "To my son - I tell him I will see him again soon. To keep his heels down while riding his horse. To my wife... that is not your business." Big bonding laugh. Let me get this straight: he's joking about sticking it to his raped and crucified wife in the afterlife? Is that not inappropriate? Are you not entertained?
"It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed."
Phoenix all in white, Gladiator stumbling from a stab wound and seeing his predestination Christian homecoming, Jumilla giving a eulogy that makes our flesh crawl, the Numidian (who had his own religious beliefs) succumbing to the Christian myths (after all, they are the right ones, of course! Not like those other stupid religions, which Christians are still trying to wipe off the face of the Earth) and sotto voce, "We will see each other again - but not yet!"...
Apparently, Gladiator is "going home." Believe in a myth hard enough and it will come true.
Hail Caesar and all that. Romani Ite Domum.
--Review by Poffy The Cucumber (for Poffy's Movie Mania).