Ghost Rider better vanish into thin air!!

Rating: 3/10 (25 February 2007)

I'm starting to think I better steer clear of Marvel films. The Hulk? Daredevil? Electra? Who keeps giving clearance for these films just because they made Spiderman? Ghost Rider is at very best a big special effects film and outside of that it is utter garbage. The story makes so little sense, and they completely toss their rules and legends for Ghost Rider out the window when they need to and the whole experience is just brutally bad!! The only thing that might make it tolerable is the unintentionally humorous scenes, Nicholas Cage (who actually turns in a pretty decent performance) and the special effects. The CGI is spot on, barely noticeable, and Ghost Rider himself is very cool, very faithful to the comic and a great character but it pretty much ends there full force. Let's ask some questions? How is it that the devil's Bounty Hunter is charged with hunting evil and saving innocents? Doesn't sound much like the devil to me? How is it that despite Johnny Blaze turning into Ghost Rider at night in the presence of evil that he gets jumped in his apartment, at night, by an evil guy, and then beat senseless but never turns? How is it that nothing kills the element demons except Ghost Rider's chain that he picked up in the train yard? And when Johnny Blaze meets the Caretaker who can tell him everything about being the Ghost Rider and Johnny never once asks him how he knows? Seem like little details? It's not...it kills the entire film. It's complete utter nonsense that makes no sense.
Now I thought the one thing that might get me in the film would be Nicholas Cage. It's not that I don't like Cage per se, I just find his ego a little big on screen and it carries into his performances so imagine my shock when I came out thinking he wasn't the issue at all and in fact made the film watchable. His Johnny Blaze was perfect, spot on, it was turbulent and torn and traumatized and he attempts to romance his teenage sweetheart and Cage is almost adorable as Blaze. He does a great job. Peter Fonda puts in a very monotoned and almost boring performance as the devil. He never comes across as much of an adversary or evil...he's just there. The special effects try and make him evil but even that doesn't work. Eva Mendes is Johnny's sweetheart and reporter Roxanne. Mendes is stunning, hot even and she does alright in the role but if I have ever seen anyone completely used in a film Mendes is that. Her breasts are hanging out of every shirt she wears and the camera almost zooms on them unapologetically. Teenage boys probably made up 40 million of the 43 million this movie made coming to see it more than once. Now Gibson Nolte makes a decent adversary as the son of the devil wanting to bring about hell on earth by possessing himself with a thousand of the evil-est spirits ever. Unfortunately they wrote his part as campy and corny and he never really gets to be evil and then he gets shot a bunch of times with a shotgun (probably a magical one) and then Ghost Rider uses his death stare to kill him...yawwwwwwwn...oh excuse me...Two performances I thought were really stand out were that of young Johnny Blaze and young Roxanne. I think I might have rather seen them in the lead roles than Cage and Mendes just for the sake of having no-names which can leave ego's in check. Matt Long has the right edge and emotion and maturity to play the role and he makes the first 20 minutes of the film watchable. Raquel Alessi is beautiful as young Roxanne and the two of them have a spark that Cage and Mendes just don't have.
So there you have it...anything worth seeing in Ghost Rider you can rent the DVD and watch on fast forward so you don't waste too much time with this tank. Despite how much money it's made I cannot believe it will take top spot again this week because unless you're an enormous Ghost Rider fan and perhaps a die hard know it all about his legend...and even then you'll likely be offended...this one is off the charts bad, bad, bad. I only score it a 3 because it was tolerable to watch thanks to those few points I mentioned...and my Popcorn was good...mmmm popcorn. 3/10