Painfully bad

Rating: 2/10 (25 April 2011)

I am normally quite optimistic when it comes to popcorn movies, and will generally defend cheesy action films as long as they deliver some level of entertainment, however mindless. I don't expect high art or Oscar- winning performances, just something I can switch my brain off to and enjoy.
Ghost Rider, however, was one of the most inadequate pieces of filmmaking I have ever had the misfortune to sit through. The dialogue and actions scenes felt like they were written by a twelve-year old; in that there is no indication of maturity, experience, or even effort put into it.
Firstly, plot: Whilst the main plot of the film is interesting in its entirety, the events that support it are poor at best. Many occurrences within the movie are utterly senseless; police officers reach conclusions based on one of the most half-assed attempts at "evidence" I have ever seen in filmmaking, and the hero is shown hurling lumps of flaming DIRT at the antagonist. Yep. All the powers of hell at his disposal, and he chooses to throw dirt at him. And worse still, it kind of WORKS.
As for dialogue...I will not list every awful verbal cliché, suffice to say the protagonist utters the line "sorry...all out of mercy". That alone should indicate the quality of the script. I assure you, it doesn't get much better than that.
The acting is generally mediocre. Cage is no better than any of his other past performances...though he is also no worse. He's about what you'd expect from him nowadays, so that's no huge disappointment. Sam Elliot provides some much-needed gravitas to some portions of the film, although his impact is significantly lessened by the awful lines he has to deliver (though that is no fault of his). Wes Bently is the only one that dips below the threshold of "average" into "poor". The character of Blackheart, for all of his scary faces, was unintimidating and weak, largely due to Bently's performance...most notably by his pathetic screams and whimpers whenever he was so much as touched by Ghost Rider (remember the flaming dirt? Yeah, he screamed at that too). And when the antagonist isn't threatening, you have a serious problem.
Many people claim that the campness of the film was intentional, and it is SUPPOSED to look bad or humorous. The problem is, whatever the intention, it LOOKS like it is trying to be a serious movie, which makes the inadequate script even more cringe-worthy. Whatever it was going for, IT DID NOT WORK!
On the plus side, there are some good special effects concerning Ghost Rider himself, and a few jumps that keep you on your toes. But that is really not enough to carry the dead weight provided by every other aspect of the film.
I won't finish my review with the usual "avoid this movie like the plague!" or "do not watch!" all I will say is that if you DO wish to see it, make sure it is a very cheap rental. Trust me, by the time the credits roll you will regret having parted with money to see this film, unless you are in a group of friends and found some enjoyment in simply laughing at this awful, half-assed piece of cinema.