Another horrible adaptation from the man behind Daredevil

Rating: 2/10 (14 June 2007)

After watching Daredevil, I became a little weary of these comic book adaptations, as they seemed to swarm out one after the other onto the big screen. With Ghost Rider, a trés-cool anti-hero in the realm of Marvel comics, I admittedly had certain preconceived notions about how the movie would harmonize with its comic counterpart. However, this movie took no longer than 10 minutes to disappoint.
As a movie, Ghost Rider fails to impress. What may have been lost in translation could have accelerated this blockbuster mess into a somewhat enjoyable movie. Many have warned not to expect Oscar-caliber performances from Cage, Mendes, and the other actors. However, the shallow characters cannot be overlooked. The acting overall was deplorable, and the actors themselves were too old. Nicolas Cage fails to make the connection between himself and his younger counterpart. The anger and passion with which the younger Johnny Blaze confronts his problems seems to fade away with age. Cage becomes a robot at best while Mendes shows off her breasts like they are the third and fourth actors on screen. Not to mention the "romance" between Cage and Mendes....well, it does not work in any way, remaining completely unbelievable after the first 5 minutes of the movie. The dialogue of the cowboy graveyard caretaker is unintelligible. His Southern growl forbids the viewer from understanding a damn word he's saying.
...and that's only the "good" guys. The "bad" guys are no better. Three of them serve absolutely no purpose. Since I am not an intimate fan of the comics, I am unaware of their purpose. However, in the movie, they are neither intimidating nor powerful in any noticeable way. Who will stop the Ghost Rider?? Generic henchman-man who plows a semi into a train to phase the Ghost Rider? A puddle monster whose powers of grabbing feet in the form of a puddle and making scary faces surely could have stopped the Ghost Rider? The furious wind demon who has the undeniably superb ability to fly around and be bad-as-hell? I was more worried that Blaze would die from his motorcycle wheel bashing his helmet in on his face. All the enemies were easily expendable except for "Blackheart" around who the movie is based. Yet, his performance remained so lackluster throughout the movie even his role in the movie is questionable. Even Peter Fonda as the devil cannot imbue the dirt of this movie. The struggle for hell never materializes due to Blackheart's wimpy demeanor versus Peter Fonda's obvious experience. Unfortunately, the director wanes from the Ghost Rider storyline of this movie involving Blackheart too often to give Eva Mendes' boobs another close up. Lastly, the facial expression of the random mugger as the Ghost Rider confronts him was priceless; check it out if you do in fact rent this movie.
The technicalities of this movie mostly fizzle along with the acting. The special effects were decent if not at times good. However, the writing. That script must have been written by a five year old fan of the comics with ADHD. Continuity that would have tied all of the loose ends together does not exist. The movie jumps from one scene to the other seamlessly...literally. The movie fell apart, quickly. Some of the details regarding stab wounds and gunshots do not pan out either. Someone with the powers of the devil, vulnerable to knives, but not bullets, and performing death-defying jumps across football fields over helicopters without any Satanic input? I think not.
Do not suspend disbelief to fall captive to the world forged by this horrible script. This movie would make a good replacement for sleeping pills. I found myself simultaneously falling asleep and laughing my ass off over the whole debacle. It's not worth the time or the effort to get off your butt and rent this horrible film. However, I HIGHLY suggest this film if you are about to have a party where everybody laughs at sorry excuses for movies in a Mystery Science Theater 3000 fashion. Lord have mercy.