Pretty awful

Rating: 3/10 (21 July 2016)

I watch a lot of B-movies and have seen a lot of bad films. The two go hand in hand and I'm pretty used to the latter; bad films can usually be entertaining as long as they don't ever become boring – the cardinal sin of movie-making in my book. Unfortunately, this latest comic book extravaganza is exactly that, one long, bloated and boring mess that has virtually no redeeming features whatsoever to recommend it. I'm getting pretty tired with the new spate of comic book adaptations; sure the likes of SPIDER-MAN and even DAREDEVIL were fun to begin with, and I'll always enjoy Frank Miller's work, but even the 'good' new ones still feel bloated and soulless. GHOST RIDER must be the very nadir, a film that ties with FANTASTIC FOUR for sheer godawful-ness, and the only interest that can come from watching it is seeing Nicolas Cage's career in free-fall after his once promising days as a Hollywood hero.
The plot is some ineffectual bit of fluff about Cage acting as the devil's hired hand, taking care of bad guys and sending up their souls to hell. Inevitably he ends up going against the devil's son, played here by Wes Bentley, who has to deal with his character's face keep breaking out into bad CGI effects. Peter Fonda, with absolutely awful hair, makes zero impression as the devil – Gabriel Byrne in END OF DAYS did it better – but the worst actor by far is Cage. His awful mannerisms I used to laugh at – until now I realise that they're his gimmick, his only acting ability. The silly faces he pulls, the rubbery expressions, all of it is diabolical – he's just completely laughable and I now have zero respect for him. Even worse, Cage is regularly doubled by a stunt guy, and most of his motorbike scenes are obviously done with that dated effect of having the vehicle stationary while the background moves behind him.
So what else is there to say about GHOST RIDER? Sure, some of the special effects are good – what with the flaming skull and flaking skin – nice 3D work even if it does look a bit cartoonish in places. Eva Mendes also seems to be another special effect, a long line of actresses chosen for their 'beauty' rather than any discernible acting ability. The plot drags out for two hours but boils down to simply 'defeat the bad guy' stuff yet again and the silly baddies reminded me of the equally bad VAN HELSING. GHOST RIDER sure is pretty, but it's also pretty awful.