Yet More Nic Cage Fun

Rating: 2/10 (11 October 2007)

We should all know the plot of the movie by now. Forget that. Instead, let's appreciate some hidden gems this movie had to offer.

The Devil can wander the Earth at will. He can take your soul and make you a fire-headed demon bounty hunter. He can cure cancer and then have you die in a motorcycle accident. What he cannot do is take a piece of paper out of the handle of a shovel that belongs to the Ghost Rider he made himself.

Despite any preconceived notions you may have about Hell and the potential for many millions of burning souls therein, apparently the real power lies in some little backwater town. Those souls are extra juicy or some such and they will lead to all manner of badness. Need specifics? Well, you can't have them. The movie doesn't offer any so you'll just have to trust that for some reason, apparently, it would be bad if the Devil got like 1,000 souls from this little town that slaughtered itself, never mind the bajillion other souls that would have conceivably made their way into his hands over the course of human history. I don't wanna split hairs but I think the most heinous thing that ever happened in human history was not some middle of nowhere crap town offing itself.

-Nicolas Cage can stand and point like no other. In fact, throughout this movie he will take up the awkward and curiously head-scratch inducing pose of standing and pointing at others many, many times.
-Young Johnny Blaze and his girl defy the very nature of reality as we understand it. How so, you ask? Well, they inexplicably were both 18 together, yet Nicolas Cage ends up aging far faster than Eva Mendes when they're adults. Cage is actually only about 10 years older, but thanks to genetics he looks about 20 years older. Good casting, guys! Pat yourselves on the back.

I'm Roxanne Simpson, on scene.

For those who loved The Wicker Man (and who didn't?) you'll be pleased with the prison scene in this film, in which Nic Cage is back in fightin' form, swinging wildly at the group of thugs who want to molest him, or whatever. Watch out thugs, he's flaming! - This movie shows real love by the filmmakers. What kind of love? Love for the same lame special effect. In this case, it's a morph applied over an actor's face. It happens to almost every single key character in the film, in fact. From the obvious Ghost Rider, we also get to experience it with the Caretaker, Mephistopheles, Blackheart and his 3 useless as all get out, totally unoriginal and laughably pathetic cronies. They all morph back and forth from regular joe to some toothy character and back.

You may not be aware, but the son of the Devil is an effeminate Goth boy.

You may also not be aware that the Devil is about as menacing as an insurance salesman.

Nicolas Cage's hair will most likely distract you in every scene. Lately it seems like they try to give him a new, awkward hair piece in every movie int he hopes that one day they'll stumble on an appealing look, but they missed the mark a little here. It resembles the back of an angry badger, prickled up and ready to strike at any moment.

When Ghost Rider first uses his flamey montage power on a random street thug, we're treated to what may be the most bizarre scene ever in a film, in which a chunky goth girl describes Ghost Rider for the camera. Like something out of a poor sitcom, devoid of laugh track so you know you weren't wrong in thinking it wasn't funny, that one moment stands head and shoulders above all others in the movie as a triumph of awkward, bizarre choices that were made in the making of this movie. Why does it exist? We don't know. Is it...light? Funny? Did someone write this and laugh? Does God hate me? Such questions will plague you for a good 10 minutes after watching the film, after which you'll just stop caring.

I could go on, but many other aspects were already covered. I will, however, give a superfluous nod to the stab wound vs gun shot debacle. Why that happens, no one can explain I'm sure. But it's just more icing on this very, very bad cake.