Complete Garbage

Rating: 1/10 (9 September 2009)

Not only was this a terrible adaptation of a powerful comic series, it was most definitely one of the worst films I have ever seen. PERIOD. Now I'm not a big Nick Cage fan as is... he is one of the most monotonous, untalented actors in the business (and for the life of me, I have no idea how he's being approached for movies such as Knowing and Bangkok Dangerous... how he mangles my eyes and ears again and again...).
Aside from his putrid acting, the whole script, design and direction was completely shameful, not just to the original story, but to everybody who actually paid for such entertain-less torture. First of all, the massive lack of creativity and choreography was apparent in every single second I forced myself to continue, bleeding out hope like an oil spill in the ocean. Even the elementals in the film were nothing more than distractions, and although Ghost Rider has more than enough ability to handle them (even if easily), they used repetitive actions and the simplest of solutions that a teenager could have thought above and beyond. Some of the imagery was decent... they did a good job with the bike and outfit of the Ghost Rider (even if their "johnny blaze" was a complete oaf), but I'm sick of Hollywood feeling like they need to put a more 'human' approach to the villains. I mean... Blackheart? Are you F-ing kidding me? Anybody who's read the series or played Marvel vs. Capcom would know Blackheart was a shadow-like creature standing well over 7 feet or so. Seriously, their version of his devil-form was just another average and overused attempt to show evil through poorly made horror tactics (flashing lights, appearance flickering between human and evil, etc.). Those type of demons that they portrayed in him should have been all over the place! As much as I enjoy seeing a sexy woman such as Eva Mendes, its just a terrible ploy to attract meat-heads that will waste money just to see a pretty face. Even Spider-Man (which I despise as well... wont go there) carried a more true portrayal of the difficulty of desires versus responsibility.
I wish beyond belief that I could give everybody who made that movie and thought it decent in ANY way a piece of my mind... if not the whole thing. For Cage to remark it could use original characters..?! F*** YOU CAGE! You had great characters and mutilated them viciously! They became original at that moment, and that failed terribly. I cant even fathom my rage and disgust that a sequel is even possible... and that the same doofus' are running things. Actually makes Disney taking over look half-way decent. Being a devote fan, I try to do my best to honor the attempts that failed to reach adapted beauty (Fantastic 4, Elektra, X-3) but I would rather injest poison than watch such a crude slap in the face that this movie is.